We’re coming up on the most depressing day of the year soon (I think it is usually like January 18th every year), which is a bitter person’s fuel. To prepare for this special day, let’s talk about how we can fuel up for this event. What are some things that work for me? There is making sure that it is dark as much as possible. While not all days can be dark ALL day (unless you live in Alaska), but there are simple ways you can make things worse. When it is sunny out, find dark basements, non-windowed closets, and pray for black clouds.
Another way to prepare for the bitter season is to make phone calls to family members or co-workers and ask them how they are doing. Be prepared to hear all kinds of sob stories about their jobs, their lives and their commuting. If you weren’t depressed before, their lives will certainly depress you soon after.
Lastly, talk about how far away any vacation days are for you. Now that the holidays are done, you certainly used up all your vacation and sick days and just have to power through at least 3 more months before you can get a break. Bleakness will follow. As well as the Bitter Friday Giftures.
Even though you want to cry…
…make sure you smile so people won’t try to cheer you up.
Make sure you get all the right daily nutrients…
…like chocolate, fat, and lots of sugars.
The colder the weather…
…the better chance there is that you will want to stay on the couch and not move.
You’ll want to make sure that if you go outside…
…you’ll want to be as uncomfortable as possible.
If you have a meeting today…
…make sure it is late in the day, so there is a possibility of it going overtime.
Make sure your lunch is gross…
…so your afternoon will go as slowly as possible.
Save the most urgent tasks for the end of the day…
…so you will once again have to work all weekend.
Make sure to invite only your least favorite guests…
…to your house.
For any get-togethers…
…make sure to fire up your grills.
Make sure you run after the neighborhood kids…
…for getting on your lawn.
And letting their dogs…
…poop on there.
And don’t hang in there…
…just fall.
Get excited people. We are almost there. The most depressing day of the year is coming and we have to make the most of it. Get prepared. And if that one doesn’t work out, Valentine’s Day always has the potential to be the most depressing day.
ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
Bitter Refueling Friday Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
P.S. Neal Peart left for greener pastures.
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I don’t blame him. With all the garbage going on, it seems like a good time to take an exit stage right.
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Hey. We have war with Iran to look forward to now! Even the executive branch is getting down with the retro vibes. It’s the 80’s again! So put on your red shoes and dance the blues!
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Can’t tell you how excited I am for this to happen. What other fun things are the government doing?
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