I grew up in the 80’s, which was a very colorful time. We moved from New York to South Dakota right as the country was transitioning from disco to MTV. Micheal Jackson was at the peak of his powers, and I was finally starting to become a human (I don’t remember much before I was 6), so I was starting to get immersed in pop culture. I got my first cassette player, started listening to the radio and started watching cartoons. Before the 80’s was taken over by The Transformers (at least for me), there was this magical cube that took over the everything for a little while.

That’s right. I’m talking about the Rubik’s cube. It had 6 sides, with nine little mini cubes on the face of each side and 6 different colors. While I bought into the craze for a little bit and watched a show on TV that featured a guy that could solve the cube in like 6 seconds, I moved on from it pretty quickly. It could be that I wasn’t very good at solving it (IE I never solved it) or because the math on randomly solving it was way beyond my math comprehension, it just never really caught on for me.

Nowadays, they offer it in multiple different brain busting ways and there are still people doing the math to figure out how to solve them fast. What I don’t like about the Rubik’s Cube is the massive amount of combinations that have to go right just so you can solve for one side. I remember solving it for two sides once and I was beyond excited to the point where I didn’t touch it for a week, so as not to mess it up.

Sometimes I feel like getting a job has the same amount of combinations that have to go right in order for me and a place in order to score a job that even remotely seems like a fit for both me and them.

Typical Job Listing:

12 years of experience in customer service, Google Ads, Facebook Ads, Google Analytics, CSS, HTML and 40 other computer programs, many which have not been around for more that 4 years

Demonstrated ability to be a leader, take charge type personality. Must be dynamic, have ability tell others what they feel like

Ability to take orders from CEO, CFO, Marketing Manager, co-workers, customers, family, friends and anyone that says anything to

Must work well with others; ability to take input from all co-workers; must be work well on your own, for hours at a time

Must be able to lift 150 pounds, travel frequently, must be available for overtime and weekends;

Looking for a family oriented individual that cares for the environment, spends hours of their own free time serving the community,

A diverse copywriting portfolio that focuses on blogs, white papers, and can work on tight deadlines.

Must be a detail oriented, perfectionist that must be so detailed that they never spell a word wrong, doesn’t make an uncompelling article, and always take their time getting the writing piece just right.

Must have skills in video, filming, editing, Adobe Photoshop,

Part time contract job lasting 3 weeks.

We go through rigorous testing to find just the right candidate

$9.00/hr

No benefits because you are a part time contract employee. Could move to full time in 3-5 years of loyal underpaid service.

My resume:

I like to write blog posts.

Can you see why so many people want to hire me?

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Rubik’s Cube Ben