If you remember these things, you are a child of the 80’s.
I was a child of the 80’s. Unlike most children of the 80’s, I thought that decade sucked. There were a few good things about it. There was Back to the Future, and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Run DMC, but for the most part, I didn’t participate in most of the crappy movies, TV shows, and some of the weirdest music you’ve ever heard. I’m think if you wore outlandish clothes, and had a modicum of singing talent, you could have been a one hit wonder in the 80’s. Of course, it was the decade I was in junior high, so that explains most of my misery.
There was the one shining beacon for me. The Transformers. From the moment I saw the first three part episode, I was hooked. My friends thought it was cool for the first year, but then I went to junior high and of course, I was supposed to be grown up and not like toys anymore. That problem still hasn’t been solved.
Even Optimus Prime’s famous phrase was meant for me. My life’s motto. “Transform and roll out.” Not because like Optimus Prime, I was taking action, or trying to stop the Decepticon’s or to make myself more useful. No, my transforming and rolling out is all about becoming a ninja and sneaking out.
Cat tried and failed.
It is my goal in life to create the least amount of presence as possible. If I’m at a party, I want to come in when everyone else is, so the host doesn’t have to make a big deal of me. Then when the party ends, I want to roll out, not telling anyone I left.
When I’m at work, I want to put my headphones on, get some work done and make it so it seems like I wasn’t even there. At the end of the day, I want to slip out with lots of hours and a paycheck.
We all have problems right? Optimus Prime faced his head on. He would go for it, change into a truck and drive through fire and fight a bunch of Decepticons. Sure he save the planet a bunch of times, but he also destroyed a lot of buildings and people died.
This is how you deal with problems. Transform and rollout.
Then there is my method of dealing with problems. Avoiding them. Letting them die out on their own. Transform them and then roll them out. Sure, that means they will resurface again later. But you can just transform them and roll them out again.
What do you think? How have you been able to use the Transform and roll out motto? How has avoiding problems and people worked for you?
ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
Bitter Rolling Out Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
HA! I only transform and roll out related to a couple of my out-laws…er…uh…I meant my in-laws.
😛
Usually, with most people, I keep rollin’ back in. The Pollyanna in me wants to make everyone happy…get them to laugh…help them with their problems, etc. Although the older I get the more I just like hangin’ with my pooch, Cooper! 🙂
Your way is probably the healthier way! 🙂 So keep transforming and rollin’ out, BB!!! 🙂
HUGS!!! 🙂
OH! And I don’t enjoy attending weddings. I used to. But not any more.
OH!!! You might be having an influence on me!!!
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Yeah, I’m finally having an influence. Weddings are the complete worst. If there is ever a chance to not go or leave one early, I’m there. I honestly think if you aren’t a core member of the family, you shouldn’t have to go, or give a gift.
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I always transform and roll out…whatever that means.
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It means leaving social situations in a hurry because they suck.
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Avoiding people helps me to avoid awkward conversations and social drama, which I don’t do well. It also means fewer birthdays to remember, less having to think of other people all the time, and fewer emotions. Thanks goodness. Emotions are messy and unpredictable. At least Transformers didn’t have to deal with those.
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An even better reason why being a Transformer would be awesome. I know, people and emotions are the worst.
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Transform and roll out… Yeah, we do that. We go see relatives in our motorhome and camp in their driveway. When they get annoying, we retreat to our home on wheels and transform into hermits. If they still won’t leave us alone, we roll out of town. 🙂
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Oh my gosh, that sounds like bitter paradise. I need to get one of those. Then the government wouldn’t be able to chase me down for those tax things either.
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Just be glad you were in Junior High, if you had been younger, you would have been hooked on Barney.
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That makes me ill just thinking about it. Let’s never talk about this again.
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I have what we call (freely translated) the ostrich syndrome: when facing problems I pretend to stick my head in the sand and play dead, waiting for them to pass.
Now, either I haven’t perfected my resurrection time (I call it impatience) and pull my head back out before the problems have left, or maybe they just don’t leave until I face them.
Probably the latter -_-
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I’m totally an ostrich. I figure if you wait long enough all our problems will go away right?
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Yeahh… They don’t 😦
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That wasn’t what I wanted to hear!
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Sorry to make you extra bitter
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I will just take the extra bitter and put it on my popcorn.
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