Hot N Ready Bitter Friday Giftures

 

Pizza. The food. Cheese, pepperoni, tomato sauce, just the right amount of grease. A circle inside a square box, cut into triangles. And in most cases delivered to your door, hot and ready. Goes perfectly with soda. Foldable, sliceable, fits nicely in your hand. Fits nicely on a plate, and even when you are laying on a couch. Doesn’t require you to do anything but eat it. Fills you up and has all four food groups. Best part, leftovers. The food that keeps on giving. Kind of like my Bitter Friday Giftures. The gift that keeps on giving.

Ring, ring. Who is it? Ben’s Bitter Blog here, ready to deliver some fresh piping hot Bitter Friday Giftures straight to your door. Don’t forget to tip me.

Someone just found out…

…pizza’s here..

Someone just said there is only one last slice…

…and they have to fight for it.

Someone found out winner gets pizza…

…and they are going to “head” home.

Someone was hungry for pizza…

…and thought the mic was a slice.ย 

Someone told the dad horse…

…this was pizza.

When they met at the mound…

…the pitcher whipsered there was pizza after the game.

The motorcyclist was committing insurance fraud…

…so he could get a deep dish pie.

He’s sad because his mom said…

…he couldn’t have pizza.

The wind isn’t pulling his bike away…

…it’s pulling him towards pizza.

The dad told him there was pizza…

…in the hole.

They are visualizing in their minds biking…

…to the pizza store.

Boy just found himself a wife for life…

…because she offered to pay for pizza.

I don’t know if you are all hungry for pizza right now, but if you aren’t then something is wrong with you. Also, I’m bitter because it is breakfast time and I’m not eating leftovers right now. Also, because I’m stuck here working and not able to get a pizza store to deliver me a piping hot pizza to my desk.

ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Bitter Hot N Not Ready Ben

 

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22 thoughts on “Hot N Ready Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. The girl in the last one is pretty savvy. Guy hands over a large bill for the food, she takes it and pays for it with a smaller denomination and pockets the difference. PROFIT!

    Like

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