There have been reports of this movie The Greatest Show on Earth, actually being the greatest show on earth. I have some words to say about that. Namely, that it isn’t true. How in the world can it be the greatest show on earth when there is no falling, no tripping, no falling backward, running into walls or even accidents? That isn’t real life. Real life is messy, angry, bitter and just like Gifs mistakes happen over and over again. So here is the real greatest show on earth.
Here is a real superhero…
…one that has a weakness of walls.
One that can fall over exercise balls…
…in zero bounds.
One that knows how to give up…
…at the earliest sign of trouble.
One that misreads signals…
…all around him.
One that can elude the cops for days…
…but can be taken down by a simple metal door.
One that is so strong…
…that only gravity can take her down.
One that can gracefully fly…
…right into the concrete.
One that look danger in the eye…
…unless danger looks back.
One that can perform impressive feats…
…then get taken down by a plastic ball.
One that can fail so bad…
…that they have to hide in the bushes.
A man whose proposal can…
…make a girl disappear.
Most importantly a man with balloons, eggs and fire…
…can take down a whole household.
The greatest show on earth should have you cringing and wishing you weren’t them, but knowing deep down that if a camera was on you all the time, your life would make at least one big Friday Gifture post.
ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH
Bitterest Show on Earth Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
abs hilarious. like the danger-seeing one the best 🙂
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Bloody brilliant! I loved it! I respect the work you’ve put in to produce a vastly entertaining blog, one I dare say, is more enjoyable and has less puffery than the film to which you allude 🙂
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Its funny that you think that I work hard on this blog and that it is produced or something. Most of the time, I just rant and rave and just write it down for people to be bitter about.
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You gotta be kidding me.
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What am I kidding about?
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HA! That last one got a snort-laugh outa’ me! 😀 I think those girls wanted him to light up the whole house! 😮
Also, love the doggie one! That is so funny! 😛
HUGS!!! 🙂
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Yeah, that one with the balloons is pretty awesome. I always save my favorites for last.
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many of those things depicturated have happend to me awlreddee today! thanx for remine-ding-a-ling-ding-ing ~
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I am always glad to share my misery and pain.
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You’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award!
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Alright! I accept the award and all the money. Though I thought that award was for new bloggers, which I guess I am. I’ve only been doing it for 6 years now.
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I’ve been blogging for 10 years and I got the award. It didn’t say anything about being a new blogger… Just a recognition of bloggers by other bloggers. 😀
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I was just whining. I remember the first 6 months when I was new and no one ever gave me an award. It wasn’t until I was an older blogger that everyone started giving me those awards. Bitter, of course.
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😉
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Good heavens, were those *hydrogen* balloons?
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I sure hope so. That was my favorite one, which is why I saved it for last. I love natural disasters created by stupidity.
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That last one is a cautionary tale about mixing helium and fire–oh, the humanity!
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That one was my favorite. So many things going on, nothing but trouble can happen.
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If a camera were on me all the time, that would not be the greatest show on earth, either. It would be the dullest show on earth. Hey, watch me not go out to do social things ever! Now watch me eat veggies with hummus and read books, then go exercise a lot. Now watch me at work, sitting in my gray cubicle, doing things that would put anyone to sleep.
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Yeah, my reality show would pretty much be the worst. I don’t know how people would ever not fall asleep watching me do stuff.
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Potus has perfected the air handshake, thus adding to his impressive list of accomplishments.
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Yeah, he lives off the reputation and money of his folks, and fires people often. He’s good at stuff.
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If only I’d majored in stuff while at university. I fear there may be gaps in my education now.
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I majored in stuff at the university. Stuff like sleeping in class and skipping many of them. Especially senior year.
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Thank goodness. I thought maybe I was the only one.
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Nope just us two though.
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Thank you. I can see myself in at least six of those pictures. After witnessing myself, over and over and over again – I am quite bitter.
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Yeah, I can see myself in just about all of them. The problem being, I don’t have a camera.
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Normally I’m too bitter about the slowness with which animated GIFs load to do anything other than click off the page, but I’m glad I went away and let this one load… there are some classics there! That dog and Trump in particular 🙂
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Yeah, I’m barely patient enough to deal with gifs. I don’t know why I keep posting them, because they take up all my space and slow my computer too.
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