Energizer Benny

Hey dad, catch. It wasn’t right to me, so I’m out.

As you know, I major in sitting around on couch eating pizza, but sometimes people feel the need to get me off the duff that I sit so proudly on and make me move. One of the biggest offenders is my son.

He is always asking me to do things with him. Not only is he always asking me to go outside and play catch with a football, baseball, basketball, or rugby something or other, but he likes to throw it to me inaccurately so I have to chase it down. Doesn’t he know that if I am going to go outside and do things, that I shouldn’t have to actually move?

I’m going to need a sandwich, Dad.

Then, when he has not only warn me out, but himself, then he likes to be lazy like me. He loves laying on his bed, watching YouTube, and then calling out to me from his throne. I sometimes wonder if he was a king in a previous life. Or if he learned his lazy sit-on-the-bed behavior from someone. I usually call back to him and ask him what he needs, and then tell him to get it himself. But the problem is that unlike me, he is persistent.  He can call and bug me time and time again, without feeling like he is annoying. And he never get tired of calling me. It’s like he has unlimited Energizer Bunny strength to never tire of calling me.

Let’s just say I have brows, and they have been thoroughly been beaten. He asks for sandwiches, water, chips, cheese sticks, crackers…anything that he can get me to bring him so he can get in trouble with his mom, then say that dad said it was okay. He is a genius. I wish I had his brains when I was a kid. Or an adult.

Maybe someday when I’m lying in a hospital bed I will get to bark out orders to a nurse like he does, but until then, I will be the one getting snacks for the king. He just better not make me entertain him like the court jester we have hired for him, or I might get to my last string.


Bitter Energizer Benny Ben


11 thoughts on “Energizer Benny

  1. My theory: A kid can only be a kid once. So let your son enjoy his kid-dom.
    Oh, wait. You might still be a kid!!! 😉 😛 And I know I AM still a kid! 😛 So much for that theory! *snort* 😀
    OH, wait! You could hire your son a maid!!! 😀

    A friend of mine told me this story: They were in church and the minister asked the kids in the congregation what they wanted to be when they grew up. My friend’s son raised his hand and said, “I want to be just like my Dad.” Everyone “aw-ed”. Then the minister asked, “What does your Dad do?” And the kid said, “He lays on the couch all day in his underpants and drinks beer.”

    HUGS!!! 🙂


  2. It’s kind of sweet that he has you wrapped around his little finger. Plus, he can argue that he is just trying to help keep you fit and healthy by running around after him. 🙂


  3. It could be that he just wants to have a free catering service. But have you considered that maybe he’s trying to impress you, by acting like you, so that you will be proud of him?


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