This summer has been just full of it. Ever since it started way back in 2016, it has been nothing but a headache. In early May, we decided to take an Indiana Jones sized leap of faith across the chasm and move with me having no job, or any promise of income when we got here to Utah, which was probably a bad idea because my knees are terrible and not really good for leaping.
This whole summer, we have been preparing for the move which has consisted of tying up loose ends, which also another bad idea because I didn’t do really well in knot tying in Scouts, despite the fact that I got my Eagle Scout. We packed up all our crap, we sold a lot of our stuff, kept secrets from all our friends (well, the rest of my family has friends anyways) and had open houses.
The worst part about the summer were the trips, though. Not the recent trip to the beach, or the trips to the hardware store to fix all the stupid stuff wrong with our house, but the real trips.
The Guilt Trips – You better pack your bags, because when you move, you will go on many guilt trips. People will try to convince you that you can’t move, because we were just about to go on a trip together, or we were just getting to know each other, or we were just getting something done at work and now…you are moving. I just can’t do this without you….etc. Well, guilt trips are great and all, but being great at making up excuses is the best defense against guilt trips. My underwear is being washed (or was that my hair), the roast is in the oven and can only be cooked in the 100 degree weather outside out Washington, or I have other plans, like watching TV from my couch in Utah instead of Washington.
Trips Down Memory Lane – Oh my gosh are you going to have some horrifying times having to deal with the boring stories that people remember about you. They will want to rehash the time you went to that lake that you didn’t ever go to, or the beautiful view you had and how could you ever leave this place? Or that time at work 10 years ago when you actually almost enjoyed a moment and how you actually felt like you earned your money one day instead of looked for just the right meme for your blog all day. Wasn’t that such a fantastic reason to stay, that even though your house is completely empty and sold and you quit your job, you should reconsider?
Trip-le Cheeseburgers – When you are so busy packing, shipping, moving, shifting and gaming, you are going to have no time to do what is really important in life. Like making things to eat. And who has time to lean into a cool freezer and find that scrumptious and water mouthing Hot Pocket and wait 1 minute and 45 seconds to burn the roof of your mouth with? And microwave a steak or hamburger? Ain’t nobody got time for that. Instead we had to head to Burger King or McDonald’s and have them make it for us. Yeah, the travel time and expense far exceeded the trouble to make stuff ourselves, but let’s face it Trip-le Cheeseburgers are far more efficient in giving us clogged arteries, stomach aches, and heartburn way faster than if we made it ourselves.
Trips are a part of summer, unfortunately. Not only do you have to travel places to make people you made the most of your summer, and so you can fill your Instagram with something more than blurry pictures of the back of your head, but you have to endure Guilt trips, Memory Lane Trips and Trip-le Cheeseburgers. So lather up with the SPF 5, so you delay the burn for only a little bit.
Bitter Trippin’ Bens