We are Groot.
Guardians of the Galaxy was a big hit last summer because it was unique and different. Bitter heroes and villains were everywhere. Peter Quill aka Star Lord was bitter about his mother’s death and his subsequent kidnapping. Gamora was bitter because she’s the adopted daughter of a guy that wants to destroy the universe. Drax the Destroyer was bitter because he couldn’t understand sarcasm. Oh and his wife died. And Rocket Racoon was bitter because he was a raccoon. I was totally onboard with all the bitterness.
But then there was Groot, the overgrown walking tree. For some reason he thought it was necessary for the Guardians to get along and become a team and that is when the movie fell apart for me. The part at the end where he sacrificed himself to protect his friends from dying and all the sparkly lights lit up and he said, “We are Groot”.
It seems like everyone is trying to teach you that doing things together is the key to success. That “lone wolfing” it will never get you anywhere and it’s unhealthy. That the only way to have real success in this world is to do things “together”.
The person that preaches that has never been a part of a group project in school or on a group project at work. Not one time in the history of the group project has any good grade or anything productive ever come from working together.
Alright our order is here. The pizza for you to split is the one on the bottom.
Since I am known in my company as the expert on pizza, I am always the designated orderer of pizza. Think about ordering pizza for a group of 9 people. Then imagine the bitter looks on the faces of those people when you order 6 pepperoni pizzas. No one is ever not bitter. “I wanted extra cheese.” “I wanted thin crust” “I wanted cheese in the crust” “I wanted Canadian Bacon and Pineapple” “You didn’t get breadsticks?'”I wanted diet soda” “Well, I wanted to not order pizza for anyone but myself”. Ordering pizza by yourself is ALWAYS better.
Reading a book as a group is always a bad idea especially when you all read out loud at the same time. I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time concentrating on the heavy themes of “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” when other people are reading them aloud with me. It’s pretty clear I’m the fastest reader in the group and some people just need to keep up little Billy. I’m sorry they don’t teach you how to read in pre-school. It’s not my fault you can’t keep up.
Meetings are generally okay. Until you start inviting other people. Then what was turning out to be a mutual sharing of ideas with myself, becomes this totally unrealistic mess where we talk about how to actually accomplish things, and goals are thrown around and assignments are given to me, and all of a sudden what was just grand ideas that would make my life lazier is turning into making me do stuff. Though if you ever struggle with sleeping, just record a meeting and play it while you are at home and you will be instantly snoozing.
Best way to get rest.
While just about everything is better when done alone, there is one instance where “We are Grooting” happens. There is one relationship where the Gestalt idea of the whole being greater than the sum of the parts. When me, my couch and phone become one, it is pretty special. My bitterly aching back is repaired by becoming part leather and pillowing and cushion and my aching hand are healed by becoming part of the phone. The couch comes alive with a beating heart and gets smarter from the phone. My phone starts to change the internet into a bitter cushiony place to be. We all become so connected that we are becoming ultimate bitter blogger. That’s when “We Are Groot.” happens.
ARRRGGGGHHHH
Bitter We are Groot Ben