Bitter Rivalry of the Week: The Sun vs. The Rain

Who's the biggest jerk? The Sun or the Rain(wind)?

Who’s the biggest jerk? The Sun or the Rain(wind)?

I remember a story my mom and dad read to me when I was young.  Essentially, there was this dude that walked around with a coat on and the sun and the wind had a bet.  The one that could get the coat off the person would win as the supreme ruler of the sky.

The wind went first confident that he could blow so hard that the coat would come off. He blew and blew and blew and the wind reached gale force winds.  No matter how hard the wind blew though, the coat wasn’t coming off.  In fact, the guy pulled his coat even harder to keep himself warm.

Now it was the sun’s turn.  The sun didn’t blow, but simply let it’s light shine and it got warm.  The guy was feeling so warm, he VOLUNTARILY took his coat off and the sun won the bet.

Someon

Someon

I guess the lesson is some garbage about how you shouldn’t force someone to do something, but make things way uncomfortable warm in order to get someone to do something.  And I just figured out that the Sun is just a passive aggressive jerk that likes staring over your shoulder.

Either way, the sun and the rain/wind are always fighting over the sky for season supremacy.

In some places and some seasons, the sun rains supreme(get it rains).  He sits up in the sky with his giggly baby laugh, pretending to be chums with us.  “Oh it is going to be such a beautiful sunny day out.” And you go outside with your shorts and white T-shirt and sandals thinking it will be a perfectly wonderful day, only to discover that the sun wants to be a jerk.

Ever heard of rainscreen? Or rainburns? The sun will lure you in with its blue skies and its warmth, only to pull a switcheroo on you.  Spend a little too much time in the sun and you are sweating.  And even more and you are sunburned.  And ever looked the sun directly in the eye? Do it long enough and you won’t have eyes to see anymore.  There is the sun lurking behind those clouds ready to destroy if you get even one more million miles closer to it.

On the other hand, there is rain.  It likes to hang out in Seattle, and forests named after it.  Friend of rain claim, “It brings essential water from the skies to give us life.  It is so nice to be able to sleep with rain outside your door, gently tapping on your window, helping you glide gently to sleep.”

Hovering around.

Just over here lurking.

It also loves to pound on you like a bully, bringing its friend wind and hale to beat you up all at once.  It loves to lurk in the oceans in big threatening circles that weather people can’t understand, but keep trying to predict.  It loves starting floods and knocking out power lines and making people dirty, just so it can later make them clean and keep them alive.  Rain is the ultimate flip flopper, which is ironic, because you would rather wear flip flops in the sun.

So, who wins this bitter rivalry of biggest jerk in the sky? Is it the passive aggressive sun? Or is the aggressive aggressive rain?

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Rain vs. Sun Rivalry Ben

 

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10 thoughts on “Bitter Rivalry of the Week: The Sun vs. The Rain

  1. Dude, you’re missing the real problem here: people. The sun and the rain were both doing fine long before all these evolved primates showed up and started pointing fingers at the sun and rain for all their woes. Do people even realize how much effort it takes for the rain to gather up enough water to do its thing for the people? Do people even get how lonely the poor sun is, sitting alone in space with nothing better to do than keep people from turning into human popsicles? But do the people ever say – hey thanks, Sun and Rain, for keeping us alive and stuff. Noooo, people would rather say, “Oh the sun is so mean for burning my unprotected skin! Oh, the rain is so cruel for flooding my house that happens to be in a flood plain.” What a bunch of whiners.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’d like to think this was inspired by our discussion about Sunny i.e. Rainy (or was the Cloudy) slope where you grew up. What? It wasn’t? Humor me for a second.
    Rain is scared of me because I got mad at it when it turned by umbrella inside out. That’s why it doesn’t rain in Sunny California.

    Like

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