The Bitter Barrier Reef of Giftures


As an introvert, I do my best to keep my favorite company (myself)around as much as possible.  I try to stay at my desk not talking to people, and pray that they will see the invisible cocoon that I put up to prevent others speaking to me.  Unfortunately, some people are very bad at spotting visual cues or seeing walls people put up. Occasionally people are desperate enough to invade the Bitter Barrier and pop the precious bubble in hopes that I have some sort of answer for something or that I want to talk intently about the weather.   They break the invisible barrier that keeps boring out and creativity in.   All of a sudden the toxic boredom seeps into my lungs pushing my creative oxygen out.  I can’t breathe and start dying of boredom.  The best you can hope for is that they will eventually leave and you can remain safely in your protective barrier safely again.  If one to stay protected from other people they must build strong barriers to withstand other people…

Or cats in this case…

...with this spring loaded barrier.

…with this spring loaded barrier.

Then there is the peer pressure Instagram barrier…


…whereas if you don’t take a picture, you can’t eat it(which is why I eat alone).

Then there is this whole exercise barrier…


…that keeps getting in the way of you lying down.

And the Happy Gilmore fishing approach…


…getting in the way of you going swimming.

And all his fans(including the one blowing his hair)…


…getting in the way of him rescuing the princess.

And there should really be more barriers…


…between kids and the rest of us. 

When crossing the barriers of a golf course…


…make sure you can run fast enough to get away.

When in traffic…


…make sure there are no barriers to safe driving…except a slide.

And on your way out from getting fired…


…don’t let anyone get in your way from getting to your couch.

Don’t ever let a stop light or stop sign…


…stop you from crossing the road to get to the other side.

And most of all…


…don’t let anything get in the way of you getting straight to the important business at hand the moment you get home.

And by most important…

...I mean most important.

…I mean MOST important.


So put on your protective armor, people. Go live your nightmares.  Stay on that couch. Do as little as possible.  Find your inner demons.  Just don’t come over, because I will be in Fort Bitter and we will protect me at all costs.


Bitter Barrier Ben





19 thoughts on “The Bitter Barrier Reef of Giftures

  1. Effffinnn Hilarious! I plan on lying on the sofa in a wife beater surrounded by my crack which consists of gummies, sour patches & chips all weekend…. Yes!


  2. Hahahah! I love these gifs! Fort bitter sounds really interesting. If you want, I can send over my grandfather to stand guard. Trust me, no sane self-respecting human being/animal is going to miss THAT barrier!


    • Well, I do have my own network, Bitter Entertainment Network (B.E.N.) so I am always needing to feed the beast. And bitter people need entertainment too not just shiny happy people. It’s a niche that hasn’t been filled yet, so I’m doing my best to help the bitter people out there.

      Liked by 1 person

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