Clawing your way to the Middle Friday Giftures

Remember when you were a kid and you played baseball or soccer or gymnastics and you didn’t get first, second or third so they gave you a participation badge? Remember those summers when you just wanted to stay inside all the time and just watch TV?  Remember those times when you were in a group project at school and you didn’t really contribute to the project and didn’t really care if your group got an A or a C? You are a non participator and a mediocrotist, my acquaintance.  And you spent all week reaching for the middle.  You deserve an average post from an average blog that is just aiming to maintain the status quo.  Keep clawing your way to mediocrity!  And have a Friday….

Bull riding is way too scary for you…

...try a less intense Corgi instead.

…try a less intense Corgi instead.

You’re never going to get into the spotlight for being the fastest man alive….

...but knocking him over with a that you can do.

…but knocking him over with a Segway…now that you can do.

You may not be able to lift weights worth a darn…


…but laying down or falling down with them…that you can do.

You gonna be the next Rousy or Mayweather?…


…I’m thinking nnnnnaaaattt. 

How about the next…


…Floyd Coldweather instead…

No one has perfected the “just don’t care”…


…like you do my average friend. 

Congrats on making even a dunk on a 7 foot hoop…


…look exceptionally hard. 

Tell me what you love about me honey…

...well your soda of course.

…well your soda of course.

Even the way you go isn’t going to be in some massive explosion…


…just some tiny Nerf war. 

The way you start your gymnastics career?…


…by making a splash…an average splash. 

The way you start you Nascar career?…


…with a crash…a very average crash.

Ride like the wind people….


…actually the wind feels a little too fast today. 

Hey not all of us can be superstars.  Most of us really.  They call it average for a reason.  So go out there with your mediocre selves and do what you do best! Nothing! Bitter Friday, everyone!


Bitter Middle of the Line Ben





40 thoughts on “Clawing your way to the Middle Friday Giftures

  1. Bahaha! And thank you for your mediocre gifs! As always, I was mildly pleased and moderately amused by them. You somewhat rock! 😘


      • I just got rescued today by my grandpa and great uncle who drove a 17hr round trip journey just to save my pathetic ass! They rock! I’m now tucked away in Indiana for the next week or so with my grandparents until I’m well enough to fly home. Thanks for asking!


        • Thanks Ben! Yeah they’re pretty awesome. The only decent part of my family I must say…
          I do hope to get home soon. How are you doing? The fires leaving you alone?


        • No fires on our side of the state, at least not in my neighborhood, but yeah, the east side of the state is getting pretty torn up. I hope things are okay out there. Sounds like you at least have some good relatives there.

          Liked by 1 person

        • That’s good. My friend’s parents place was nearly obliterated last week. They live up in Tonasket, WA and the flames came within 50 ft. of their house! I’m glad you’re on the west side, and so are we. I do have a handful of good ones here. I’ll take what I can get!


        • It’s up in the mountains of eastern WA near the Canadian border. It’s been very treacherous. The entire town was evacuated, but they stayed to protect their homestead that had been in the family for nearly a century! The winds shifted at the last second…


        • They are just small time, mostly for themselves and friends and family. However, he’s a contractor and ALL of his tools are there, so yes, it would’ve been utterly devastating to them to lose it all.


        • Yeah me too! Very relieved. They are good people and it would’ve broken my heart if they’d lost their home. Fire makes me bitter too…


        • Yeah me too! I’m ready to bust out and get in touch with my native roots and do a rain dance.


        • I do! Several tribes actually. I’m a mutt lol. Honey, if I could do a money dance, it would probably have to involve a pole, and that just isn’t my style haha! 😉


  2. Wait a second….I take exception to the way you start this post…’Remember when you were a kid and you played baseball or soccer or gymnastics’…do you know who you are talking to? You think I ever participated in sports?!! Wash your mind out Ben!!


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