Remember when you were a kid and you played baseball or soccer or gymnastics and you didn’t get first, second or third so they gave you a participation badge? Remember those summers when you just wanted to stay inside all the time and just watch TV? Remember those times when you were in a group project at school and you didn’t really contribute to the project and didn’t really care if your group got an A or a C? You are a non participator and a mediocrotist, my acquaintance. And you spent all week reaching for the middle. You deserve an average post from an average blog that is just aiming to maintain the status quo. Keep clawing your way to mediocrity! And have a Friday….
Bull riding is way too scary for you…
…try a less intense Corgi instead.
You’re never going to get into the spotlight for being the fastest man alive….
…but knocking him over with a Segway…now that you can do.
You may not be able to lift weights worth a darn…
…but laying down or falling down with them…that you can do.
You gonna be the next Rousy or Mayweather?…
…I’m thinking nnnnnaaaattt.
How about the next…
…Floyd Coldweather instead…
No one has perfected the “just don’t care”…
…like you do my average friend.
Congrats on making even a dunk on a 7 foot hoop…
…look exceptionally hard.
Tell me what you love about me honey…
…well your soda of course.
Even the way you go isn’t going to be in some massive explosion…
…just some tiny Nerf war.
The way you start your gymnastics career?…
…by making a splash…an average splash.
The way you start you Nascar career?…
…with a crash…a very average crash.
Ride like the wind people….
…actually the wind feels a little too fast today.
Hey not all of us can be superstars. Most of us really. They call it average for a reason. So go out there with your mediocre selves and do what you do best! Nothing! Bitter Friday, everyone!
ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Middle of the Line Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
You’re doing a great job *not* trying to do a great job 😉
LikeLike
I do my best to not do my best.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awwww, the one on the ends was so freakin cute!!!!!
LikeLike
Yeah, that one is a sentimental fav of mine because it was the first time I used a gif in my blog.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You should highlight it. Make it your cover photo 🙂
LikeLike
That might be kind of funny to do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😛
LikeLike
I’ve been average all my life, and I’m proud of it!
LikeLike
Hey, there has to be average people like us to do all the work while the above average people party.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True. 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bahaha! And thank you for your mediocre gifs! As always, I was mildly pleased and moderately amused by them. You somewhat rock! 😘
LikeLike
Yep, even the gifs were just fair to the middlin. Back from Minnesota (a very mediocre state) yet?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I just got rescued today by my grandpa and great uncle who drove a 17hr round trip journey just to save my pathetic ass! They rock! I’m now tucked away in Indiana for the next week or so with my grandparents until I’m well enough to fly home. Thanks for asking!
LikeLike
Well, good. That is some good family that will do that for you. Enjoy your safety in your little Indiana retreat! Hopefully you’ll be home soon to Oregon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Ben! Yeah they’re pretty awesome. The only decent part of my family I must say…
I do hope to get home soon. How are you doing? The fires leaving you alone?
LikeLike
No fires on our side of the state, at least not in my neighborhood, but yeah, the east side of the state is getting pretty torn up. I hope things are okay out there. Sounds like you at least have some good relatives there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s good. My friend’s parents place was nearly obliterated last week. They live up in Tonasket, WA and the flames came within 50 ft. of their house! I’m glad you’re on the west side, and so are we. I do have a handful of good ones here. I’ll take what I can get!
LikeLike
I’ve never heard of Tonasket, WA, but I’m kind of a hermit that barely leaves his house, so it doesn’t surprise me. That sounds pretty treacherous though. Hope their house stays safe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s up in the mountains of eastern WA near the Canadian border. It’s been very treacherous. The entire town was evacuated, but they stayed to protect their homestead that had been in the family for nearly a century! The winds shifted at the last second…
LikeLike
So are they farmers then? That could have been pretty disastrous if they lost that, since that is their whole livelihood.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They are just small time, mostly for themselves and friends and family. However, he’s a contractor and ALL of his tools are there, so yes, it would’ve been utterly devastating to them to lose it all.
LikeLike
Well, that is a lot of tools that could have been destroyed and for some people tools are life. So glad that didn’t happen. Fire kind of makes me bitter now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah me too! Very relieved. They are good people and it would’ve broken my heart if they’d lost their home. Fire makes me bitter too…
LikeLike
Well, hopefully it will rain soon like it is over here now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah me too! I’m ready to bust out and get in touch with my native roots and do a rain dance.
LikeLike
Do you have native roots? That would be so cool if you could do a rain dance? If so, can you do a money dance around my house?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do! Several tribes actually. I’m a mutt lol. Honey, if I could do a money dance, it would probably have to involve a pole, and that just isn’t my style haha! 😉
LikeLike
I knew as soon as I typed it…
Anyway, aren’t we all mutts anyways? Own those native roots!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh totally! 😘
LikeLike
Wait a second….I take exception to the way you start this post…’Remember when you were a kid and you played baseball or soccer or gymnastics’…do you know who you are talking to? You think I ever participated in sports?!! Wash your mind out Ben!!
LikeLike
I wasn’t speaking to you. You were supposed to skip that part and go view gifs which I know you look forward to every week.
LikeLike
Oh yes, what a treat. I seem to recall on guy who fell of a water slide. I actually congratulate him on making it into the pool.
LikeLike
It almost seems like that guy fell off on purpose so he could be on my blog.
LikeLike
Of course he did!
LikeLike
Those gif are always competing for my attention.
LikeLike
Mine too! I just keep waiting for them to do something else…sometimes for hours on end!!
LikeLike
That is how I keep getting such a large amount of usage rate on my site. I guess I should do gifs everyday!
LikeLike
Uh…looking forward to it…??
LikeLike
I know. I bet you can’t wait to only have to view pictures instead of reading words.
LikeLike
Always.
LikeLike