Bitter News from the Couch Vol. 1

 

The nature of the news business is fast, quick, breaking and then stuck in the scrap heap.  You might be at the top of the news at 6 am, but by the 7 am news, nooobody really cares about you, or remembers who you are.  This might be why I just don’t care about the news.  Or it could be that politics bore me, traffic and the weather are just as easily figured out by going outside and feeling the air,  or looking at how many stupid cars are in front of you.  Other than that, it just a bunch of murders, robbings, financial crises, and politicians saying they will do something, then hoping we forget 3 days later(which 98% of us will unless it directly affects us). The Bitter Entertainment Network (B.E.N.) has no such illusions.  In fact, we don’t even call this news.  We call it old.  We take a couple of minutes to find a story, regardless of how old it is and tell you what makes us bitter about it.  Cause making videos takes time and I don’t have enough editors to bring it out as fast as a tweet.  Besides, this talking head is delivering this stuff from the couch, as unenthusiastically as possible.  And if I can’t find this on internet, I’m not delivering it.  So without further ado, Ben’s Bitter Blog presents…Bitter News from the Couch.

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49 thoughts on “Bitter News from the Couch Vol. 1

  1. I love your impressively bitter style! I did notice an absence of any Nerf swords or bows in the young enthusiast’s collection. The dangerous world of Nerf simply is not complete without those weapons of nap disruption!

    On a more serious note…Thanks for taking the time to check out my new blog, comicallyquirky.com. It was a huge boost of confidence for me, and it brought me to your blog. With your bitterness and my sarcastic wit, I think we could get along very well.

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    • We have a couple of bows but I didn’t want to include them. He and the Nerf guns are the ultimate killers of the perfect nap.
      On a serious note, I was glad to read yours. I remember starting out, who so very few people read mine and I appreciated the first few so much for making me feel like it was worth it to keep writing. Though I would have gone on for a while, the readers definitely fuel me even more. I definitely like the sarcastic and witty people the best so keep them coming and I do my best to read them!

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      • You should get the swords, too. They’re fun for battles…oh, but they can leave welts. I’m not convinced they truly have foam cores, come to think of it..

        Thanks so much for your support!

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  2. I really don’t like the way you refused to show the scene of you firing me at the beginning of the episode or how you make no mention of the fact that if you had not fired me the teleprompter would have been in a much better position so you wouldn’t have kept stopping and looking down. I am filing for unemployment, I’ll have you know.

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  3. Bahaha haha! I LOVE THE DEADPAN DELIVERY! BRAVO!
    Killer Nerf gun collection, Nerfie Boy!
    About that pay cut to 1.5 mil… Sheesh, how will that poor man ever feed his family? He must be quite bitter about being so dirt poor. And he puts his life on the line and busts his butt to earn that money too. There is just no justice in this world…

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