Wasted Friday Giftures

Time.  Energy. Resources.  Money.  These are things that are limited and valuable.  These are also things that I have dedicated my life to wasting.  I have put my absolute minimum into making sure that all my resources have been put into the absolute worst possible use.  If there was a bad idea, I’ve funded it.  If there was a sinkhole to throw my money, I was magnetically attracted to it.  If there was a really fast way to use my energy, I put my absolute least in it.  Therefore, if you have money, you should invest in me, because I have a great way for you, “the fool” to be separated from it.  So join me in learning the best possible ways to waste your time and money and life.


You know what the biggest waste is?


....I could fit all the info from this guy into a zip drive.


Big waste right here?

The silly things on the dock.

The silly things on this dock.


Headline today?

...guy graduates, then

…guy graduates, then flips out into a big sinkhole.


Might as well throw out the trampoline…

...now she will never be able to use the trampoline. What a waste.

…she broke the slide.  What a waste.


Good thing he saved the windshield…


...much cheaper to replace a door.

…because it is much cheaper to replace a door.


All that money on the wedding…


…and the marriage just went to waste.


All that money and acting…

...all that acting

…and she still can’t take a punch. 


She’s was a perfectly good paperweight…


…until she decided to try something else. 


Whenever someone takes my cone…

of a perfetly good

…I scream. 


It sucks when your arms are good…



…but it is leg day.



What a waste….

or you try to teach

…when you try to teach an old human new tricks. 



What a waste of sunglasses…


…when it is nighttime.



Alright, time to get back to your regularly scheduled waste of time.



Bitter Waster of Timer Ben











26 thoughts on “Wasted Friday Giftures

  1. Hahaaaa!!! I can’t stop laughing at the acting “statue” smacking the girl who was poking her. HA! I know that you are incredibly bitter, but this post brightened my day (bitterly) 😉


  2. I like yoga dog and Chinese soft serve toucher. I think that slide must have been old and brittle bc the lady who broke it wasn’t even that fat. She was that stupid. Just not that fat.


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