It’s that time of year when you allow those annoying people that you can’t stand(other people) to invade your yard and pay to take the crap that you are trying to get rid of. While you do get a little bit of money (let me stress a little), the trade off is that you have to be outside (and the aforementioned being near other people). Things start out innocent enough. Loading 14-100 bins of garbage from your house, shed and garage only take 8-12 weeks to organize. Then on a Saturday at 6 am when you feel the most coherent and willing to work, you get up earlier than you would on a work day and organize some more boxes. Then, stupid people that just happen to be out walking their dogs at 7 am that can’t read a sign that says 9 am – 4 pm, start going through your stuff. It is my favorite thing, trying to pretend that “It’s fine go ahead and ignore the sign. Look through our stuff and give us a check for 2 dollars.” After the 15,888 steps I took (about 15,000 more than I normally take on a Saturday), we finally ended the sale, and then the real work began. How to get rid of the rest of the stuff that even the non discriminating garage sale people wouldn’t take. I felt about the same as that junk. After eating food at an organtic(not organic) restaurant that allowed bugs to eat its food, I slumped down in the lovesack to enjoy my nightly heartburn, vowing to never do work on a Saturday again. So you didn’t miss much except….
This post that I did last week about not wanting to be around anymore. I couldn’t take being on the earth anymore because it is so exhausting (what with all the talking to people and having to do garage sales and such) so I defected. I decided to go to another realm. It wasn’t pretty and I was having a little trouble getting in and then I ran out of time so I wasn’t able to complete it. So I did what all writer’s do when they don’t know the ending. (Pretended that there was a part two in The Bitter Realm Part 1.)
Then just cause I was just not feeling it on Friday, and because I had hit the wall, I decided to do Giftures about people hitting the wall. You know, cause I’m pretty predictable as most people that know me can attest, the Giftures were about people hitting the wall. Got it?
Then I may have done a few twitters about completely irrelevant topics that no one cared about.
There were bitter comments about posts that I did last week:
The Bitter Realm Part 1:
“I’m really, really, deeply not-good at video games where you have to do stuff in any particular time in order to survive. If you’d like some help being in Roller Coaster Tycoon I’m pretty good at that, though, and I’ve been getting into building side-friction roller coasters (a kind from before 1920, when they invented the “upstop wheels”, so these ones kind of do fly off the tracks, but they drop right back down onto them again).” Joseph Nebus
“This is so creative… I was bummed when it ended! When can I expect part 2? 🙂” – Properly Ridiculous
On Hitting the Wall Friday:
“That first GIF is just so beyond awesomely hilarious! I can’t even find good words for it… 😀 Have a nice weekend! 🙂” Lvital7019
“That dang wall should’ve had his back. Just can’t count on anything these days, can you?” Kaela Moore
And then for you people that are more modern like, I have I new technology called moving pictures.
These Giftures go out to the the people that think they can have it all.
And you thought I was done and…you are wrong. Three things before you are done reading.
I am the king of bitterly pimping out my blog. I will tell strangers at garage sales, long lost aquaintances that I don’t want to be aquaintences anymore and other bloggers. Other people have bravely recognized that (in other words they are quite smart at recognizing the obvious) and have asked me to promote them on my blog, which I am bitter to do. They should just know that they are being promoted to a bitter audience. Suckers!
First, I just wanted to introduce you to a blogger that is pretty new to the scene, but pretty bitter in her wit and sarcasm and wanted to get some new likes on her Facebook. So go to Fits of Wit’s Facebook Page, and give her a bitter like or 2.
Second, normally I get comments that are pretty bitter, which I appreciate and help me realize how bad my posts are but this week one stood out like no other. This one took the the time to respond to my post Bitter Realm Part 1 in a poem. You might know, I’m not a poet, but this one was pretty epically bitter:
“Oh Bitter Ben, you are such a muse
In the wrong line with so many clues
Your villainy should have been your first tip
Without having to listen to any Hero’s lip
The realm you are in is must be your real home
Only coming to Earth when needing to roam
To spread your bitterness both far and wide
With no place for any of us innocents to hide
So return to your realm or try a new game
To stay with the heroes seems rather lame
A sword and a shield will only confuse
And if you’re not careful, will cause you to lose ©
May the Bitter Force Be With You! ” – Snow
If I gave out an award for comment of the year, so far this would be one of the comments made this year.
Last, I have a blogger friend C. Miller that is releasing her second book tomorrow, Elude, which is the second in the four part series. Before you read that one, make sure you check out Reave, the first book. I really liked the first and I’m told the second is even better.
Now, go off and be bitter for another week and I will see if I can find more things for you to be bitter about.
Bitter Garagey Ben