Because you were getting lost.
On the weekends, I rarely venture off the land mass known as leather couch island, but for some reason some miniature life form kept brow beating me to leave the island as as he does from time to time. Instead of continuing to allow my unshaven brows to receive a Mike Tyson like beating, I decided to allow the young earth person to drag my couch melded body to the bitter outdoors. The 95% cloud covered sky was so bright that I could barely see 80 feet in front of my face, but somehow I found a way to load up his two wheeled ET transport vehicle and made our way to the local forest, one that had no trees, a big lawn, a bunch plastic equipment that had swing-like devices, slide-like devices, merry-go-round-like devices and a bunch of annoying little people-like devices running around them. The young person didn’t only want to play in the local area, thus allowing me to meld with the plastic bench, but wanted to venture to a path that lead below some tall wooden things with green plastic leave things at the top. Of course 4 feet in the wooded area we got lost and could only find out way out seconds later. He later wanted to climb the plastic mountains and it was exhausting having to stand for seconds on end film him doing parkour or whatever the kids are calling the climbing on of the object thingys. This caused me to miss not only valuable shade time on the couch, but also made it impossible to blog. Here’s what you missed while you were getting lost going places:
Music. Really bad and uplifting music. Music that would make you want to dance and smile and happy. Yeah, the kind of music that needs to be banned and changed and…bitterized. Very much so. You can see the taking down of upbeat music by me in Bitterizing Upbeat Music.
Being a jerk. It is something that comes naturally to someone like me, so I decided to impart a tiny bit of my huge range of knowledge on the subject. I also showed a few examples via my Friday Giftures in Bitter Friday Jerktures.
I tweeted:
And I got some gifs:
This is Tuesday…
And this is fail day…
If you don’t get lost in the forest, at least you can get lost on the way to work, or in whatever it was you were supposed to be doing.
ARRRRGGGHHH
Bitter Lost Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
‘Annoying little people-like devices’ . . . nice!
Also, I enjoyed the ‘parkour’ video you posted on Instagram. Just happened to catch that one day because I’m pretty much never on there anymore.
Also, I’m sad that I missed your introvert tweet (due to not being on Twitter pretty much ever either). I will have to retweet it when I do get on there. (Maybe later?)
Also, I missed your Friday post (due to not being on anything), so I will go check that out now!
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I don’t take kindly to other kids. Mine are awesome, others not so awesome, especially when their parents don’t watch them.
The funny thing is that he did so many more parkour videos, but he was getting so tired at the end that he kept going slower and slower. And it was so bright out that I didn’t know if I could even see him on camera, cause I certainly couldn’t see him on my phone at the time.
People have had a hard time posting stuff on my blog lately. WordPress must be up to something sneaky. I gotta figure out what is going on.
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Haha, I know what you mean.
I can just imagine that. The slower parkour thing. Hilarious.
I haven’t had any trouble posting on your blog (OBVIOUSLY, geez), apart from with that one entry.
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We’ve been to that park every day this week because our school district is offering free lunch for kids there. We went there the first day just to play, and we were just playing basketball and the lady in charge just came over and asked if we wanted some. I figured if they were offering I would just do it. Why not right? We had fun just playing and exploring.
I’m glad you haven’t had any trouble posting to my blog. It would make me sad if you couldn’t.
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Well, who would turn down free food?! (As long as it’s not gross, of course.)
I’m glad you all got to do some fun things. The exploring sounds neat. Find anything cool?
🙂
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I’ve been known to turn down free food when it isn’t stuff I like, but they are my kids. They can sacrifice McDonald’s for some free food every once in a while anyways. A salad may not be ideal, but it is good for you and it isn’t gross, right? We didn’t find anything really, just some new paths. And we did get some fresh air and also some exersize.
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I can’t believe you spent your weekend living life instead of blogging. You need to get your priorities in order.
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That is the last time I ever live my life again.
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So much merriment to go round that he abandoned ship. Bitter Ben, you should have not included that last gif. That one causes me to giggle and it is hard to be bitter when giggling…I need to go lie down.
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I will go ahead and not include funny gifs from now on. Just bitter ones.
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