For some reason this time of year seems to be busier than almost every other time of the year. There seems to be all kinds of parties, get togethers, gatherings at malls, and tidings of bitter cheer on Facebook. How is a guy supposed to slack off at work when more people seem to be demanding that things get to them by a certain date and more people at work seem to be taking the day/week/month off? How is a guy supposed to lay lazily on the couch when at home he is asked to buy presents, go to unnecessary parties and spend more time paying attention to people around him? Why does everyone seem to be so busy when it is so dark out, and the weather is so cold? Wouldn’t everyone want to start being like me and staying inside, on a couch feeling the warm glow of the television and bright lights of the internet? However if you must interact with others here are some holiday suggestions bitter blog picture gif style:
Spend time outside…
Go for a nice relaxing drive:
Head to Disneyland…
Go to a family sporting event…
A carnival….
Spend some time with the kids….
Spread some cheer…
Take some family pictures…
Go to the zoo…
Before you go, check to see if you left anything…
And most of all, make sure everyone leaves with a smile on their face…
If you must be busy this holiday season, at least insist that you are bitter about it. That will make it less enjoyable for all those around you. Spread the bitterness!
Arrrggghhhh
Bitter Busy Ben
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what is grumpy telling that poor cat
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About how much more bitter I am than both of them.
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ah…they both look very bitter..bitter & bitterer & you bitterest
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They tried, but failed.
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poor kitty failed.
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Are your kittying me?
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lol.i am not kittying you, but i get the t’s mixed up in kittying
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I don’ like kittying around. Cause cats.
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Pingback: In case you missed it…because you were out shopping | Ben's Bitter Blog
But if we’re all bitter, won’t that make you happy?
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Then I will be bitter that you are all bitter. It’s very complicated. And very Matrix like.
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love the athletic nude guy and the kid so much
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Some people were horrified by that dude, as was I. The kid was awesome. I wish I could do something like that to my kids.
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The kid! HAHAHAHA
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I couldn’t resist that one.
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P.S. The one of Tom Hanks is PRICELESS! 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Well he had an Ipod, so not completely priceless.
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You’re such a GUY…:)
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For my whole life.
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LOVE the videos, Ben! Totally needed the laugh!! 🙂 Why? Well, check out my latest post about, well, about my doctor kicking me to the curb…at: http://tenaciousbitch.com/2013/12/13/post-123-make-no-mistake-i-am-also-a-health-bitch-and-im-not-going-to-apologize-for-it/ …no, I’M NOT KIDDING, LOL..sometimes, just being a bitch doesn’t pay off, but I’m not bitter. However, I gotta love the one of the little girl squealing on the PEEK-A-BOO video. Love it! Had the volume turned off though, thankfully, so I missed the chorus of her screams…chat with you later. My kid’s at the door, and he forgot his key AGAIN…sigh…got any bitter Kool-Aide? I might need some…
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Welcome back TB. So how did your book go? Did you sell a lot? Any new scripts in the works?
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Sell a lot? 🙂 I haven’t even finished it yet, and once I do, it’ll be a month before it hits the bookstore shelves. Unfortunately, because of having to take on a dreaded day job, which I started on Nov. 5th, I’m really behind on my writing goals. I’ve still got to finish editing the Tales from the Lunatic Lounge, and I haven’t had time to work on a script in over of year (because of taking care of my Grandmother for 2 years BEFORE I had to go to work at Ann Taylor). However, rest assured, slowly but surely, I’m getting Lunatic Lounge finished. Either way, THANKS for asking! 🙂
TB
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Of course. I forgot that book need to be written and edited before they can be sold. Silly me. I totally wish I could have contributed, but I just forgot and I’m lazy.
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Yes, I wish you’d remembered and/or decided not to be a slacker as well, but, maybe…I’ll let you buy it/read it anyway when it’s done…
~TB
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One or the other, I will never make it into your book. So bitter!
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I’m busier than I would like to be at the moment. I am sneaking off to comment on blogs who have probably forgotten about me since I’ve all but disappeared from the blogging world since I’ve started my new job.
Also, I would really like to know who is holding the camera in that last picture and why they’re not dead yet. Also why that guy is looking so gleeful about shooting that gun.
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Well at least you are keeping busy at your job. It makes the time go by faster. However blogging is more important so I think it is time for you to have a talk with your boss about giving you more time to blog.
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This is why I have chosen to never witness a naked redheaded man up close and personal. I would rather drink Midori Sour than watch him climb up Mount Midoriama.
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I get the feeling that this part was edited off that show. I had to spread the bitterness.
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Today I’m busying myself with not being busy.
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Relaxation and non planning is such hard work. I’m working hard at avoiding work today.
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i got a kick out of that one too and the one with the man’s arm behnd the woman …. a different kind of kick from the dog crashing through the mirror:it scared me
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I kind of liked the Seahawks coach that was made to look like the penguin. That was pretty classic.
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i understand air hawks better than sea , but i like it too.
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I just like that he is the penguin.
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and he likes that you are the bitter ben.
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Why wouldn’t he? It’s like bitter good luck.
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then i shall like you too b/c i need good luck
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Everyone needs bitter luck.
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i already have bitter luck & you can’t give the stuff away
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I give my bitter luck away all the time. How do you think you got your bitter luck?
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oh is that how.i cannot thank-you opposite of enough.
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you are so opposite of welcome.
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you ,so opposite of bitter
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I’m totally bitter.
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if you think it ‘s bitter , butter it’s not.
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I’m my wifes bitter half.
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and her bitter sweet half
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I’m the bitter, she is the sweet.
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oh that is sweet. if yall were at a seder.she could serve bitter ben, bitter herbs
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I don’t know if I want to go to a seder. I heard they aren’t pleasant.
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if you have a comfortable chair,enjoy sitting & eating for 3 hours….you know it sounds like something you would enjoy..wait no,not 4 glasses of wine, but i can’t drink either so
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If there is sitting and eating, yes, but if I have to talk to anyone, no.
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you can sit & eat .do what i do & say i’m not going to read anything
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I will pretend to be asleep or unconsious.
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sleep eating is good
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I just woke from a nap.
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i don’t even think i took naps when i was a toddler
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If I didn’t I would be so mad at myself.
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lol.i don’t think i could go through that twice a day.daddy are all the doors & windows locked? “yes i sleep with 1 eye open & 1 ear open”
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Even as a toddler you were thinking of haiku’s and couldn’t sleep?
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& that was easily a haiku,if i had just thought for a minute ,but my mind is on hoping rain keeps up ,in the sky.
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rain never stays in our sky.
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i wish it would , yesterday i wanted it to rain , because then there is no hammering or sawing, but then i remembered raining inside is worse.
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Unless you have an umbrella for a roof and a indoor raincoat.
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my raincoat is in arlington & my ice cream maker
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that is some bad news. Virginia?
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it’s bad news for the celing,yes virginia.
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Sounds like a cluster…
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chocolate raisin clusters
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a cluster of the highest degree.
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wouldn’t taste as sweet by any other name than raisinettes
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gross. Raisins.
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you don’t like raisins? ok then chocolate covered pretzels
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How about just regular covered pretzels?
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alright…but what are regular pretzels covered in?
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Salt.
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that might make them salty
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Then it might taste like a pretzel.
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yes that’s how pretzels were meant to be.did you ever have a girlfriend who offered you pretzels with no solt ? ( b/c they are from n y )
or salt ?
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I couldn’t do it, sorry saltless I just couldn’t do.
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i kknow i couldn’t do it either.i forgot to say a hot soft pretzel….every hockey game in charleston, he loved to ask if i would like a pretzel with no solt..make me laugh at his accent.
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Accents are fun to laugh at.
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yes i love to laugh at accents at tree o clock
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I prefer the Southern accent to the NY/NJ or Boston accent.
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that’s so funny. my husband was southern ,2 bf’s were ny & other was boston….boston lost his accent after 8 yrs.
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What kind of accent do you have….Jewish?
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i’m from s.c., silly..jewish accent is what people think n y ers have
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so you have a southern jewish accent?
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i don’t have a jewish accent. i try not to have a southern accent,but when i say i’ll be darn it sounds southern
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Dang that’s depressing. I want you to at least have some sort of accent.
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lol. i try not to. i ain’t a fan of southern accents.
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you aint?
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i ain’t ;i cain’t tolerate it ,no sir ee ben. no cotton pickin accent.
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Maybe you are allergic to cotton?
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lol. i think that may be the only thing i’m not allergic to…my daddy ‘s joke : you aren’t allergic to green = money..that was before i was allergic to everything
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I think money is allergic to me.
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i hope they make an anectdote for that
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I keep trying to get money to not be so allergic. Maybe I should metalize myself and money.
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you could heavy metal ize yourself too
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That sound metaly draining. haah
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yes. metaly draining is harder than mentally draining
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It is a little heavy.
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what does that song mean – he’s not heavy he’s my brother? so no one has a brother who is heavy?you aren’t heavy to your sister?
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man cannot live without salt
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I know right?
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i think it’s a law or something & maybe iodine too, b/c it says so right on the cannister ,like it’s important or something.
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Are you sure Brooklyn 909 shouldn’t be taking care of tha?
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brooklyn 909 & -99 & 9009 have laws against naked pretzels
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They don’t take well to pretzels that are assalted.
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LOL ..teeth assault pretzels that are assalted
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With a deadly peppa.
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lol….salt n peppa eat assalted pretzels
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I feel like a bagel with cheese right now.
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how long have you been feeling like a bagel? if i felt like a bagel i would be pumpernikel,lox & creme cheese, hold the lox
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I love sesame bagels with cheese. Almost nothing but pizza is better.
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you mean cheese cheese, not cream cheese?
it sounds delicious , but on seinfeld they said poppy is a drug?
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american cheese. Soooo goood. no poppy seeds just sesame seeds.
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american -huh…i’m so dumb , i thought sesame was poppy for some reason.
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So good. I am in heaven whenever I have one…or two.
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then i should try one, if it’s that good.i am so dizzy & i looked at the ceiling & figured out why..it’s mold
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Don’t put mold on your bagel. That will cause even more problem.s
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yes mold is a bad bad thing unless it’s a cupcake mold to make cupcakes in
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or a mold to make more bagels with cheese.
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how bout mold of cheese with a bagel inside
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How about none of those?
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none of those is good.i want a doughnut mold,so you can bake doughnuts instead of fry
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I’m bitter about Pete Carroll looking like Mr. Peanut. It’s just jealousy.
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I thought he looked like the penguin but that is just me.
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Too funny. Are you picking on my Seahawks, or are you bitter about their success this year?
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I just thought that was a funny gif. Being that I live here I can’t help but enjoy your Seahawk success. I don’t think you want me rooting for them though, because I am a jinx.
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