I know it has been a hard week for everyone, because blah, blah, blah it is always a hard week for everyone ever. But especially for the readers of this blog who have had to endure so many words these past two posts. So in order to show that I don’t care at all, I have decided to type more words. It really hurts your brain to read right? Good. Actually, because I am lazy, I just didn’t want to type bitter things today. I am going to let other people’s pictures do the bitterness today. So with further ado, here are some bitter pictures and the reasons why they are bitter. No more ado…until later.
I’m a go getter when it comes to being lazy.
When it comes to lazy, I am world class olympic athlete. Even in the midst of the most desperate deadlines, the highest stress situations, and the most important meetings, I can find the time to nap, daydream or space out. I have made a science of sleeping on treadmills, daydreaming in meeting with presidents, kings and dignitaries and spaced out on trips to space. No one has any laziness on me.
I hate when I wake up and there is a maze on my head.
I’m with Kanye on this one. Since when should I have to be responsible for anything? I mean it was hard work enough to be born and live 40 years avoiding work, now you are asking me to take responsibility for other things? Are you crazy? Next thing you know, you will want me to do something about the squatters in my house. Feed them with my food, cover their heads with a roof and pay someone to watch them when I leave? Haven’t they ever seen Survivor? There are sticks and sun out there for fire, rabbits and squirrels out there for food, and trees for shelter. I’ve got video games to play and my water might spill if I have to get up.
Some people can be so rude on airplane flights. It’s very rude to stare when people take your pillow.
I’m pretty sick of airplanes too. Why did the Wright Bros. have to invent such an inconveient way to cross the country in only 6 hours? I think it is high(see what I did there?) time that airlines start catering to me. They should show up at my door as I am just waking up from a nap and ask me if I want to fly anywhere. They should start booking my hotel and rental car, offering to pay for my gas, hooking me up with free WiFi and removing annoying people that I don’t want to sit near(so emptying the plane). Also I should get an walky talky that speaks with the captain, so I can tell him to do loop de loops or fly a little lower so I can drop water balloons on Chicago. Also a bed would be nice for the 30 minute Seattle to Portland flight.
A Bitter Lazy Friday to you all. I have a lot of preparations for my lazy Saturday. So now you can ado…or adon’t. I adon’t really care.
Bitter Friday Ben
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I think that’s a map of Kanye’s brain on his head, very simple and linear. If you look closely, I think you can see the part that says, “Name baby North. Guffaw. Guffaw.”
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Also there’s a spot that says, “Interupt people when they are trying to accept an award.”
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That guy in the plane seat was certainly bitter about something, but it didn’t pay for the woman who lost the pillow to be bitter. But I think it’s safe for me to read about a lazy bitter Friday from the comfort of my computer.
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I think the airlines probably lost his luggage or didn’t give him an upgrade on his fancy feast.
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Sorry for the double post. Now it’s triple!
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Helps it look like I get an occasional comment.
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Hilarious post as usual BB. Hey did I miss something? You have a bittercast? Do tell, I want to listen.
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I was asked by a guy that does a weekly podcast to read one of my old posts, so I recorded it and he featured it on his podcast. If you go to my post called Bittercast, you will see that it has a link to the podcast. Have fun listening to my boring monotone voice.
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Hey BB, I just listened to your bittercast, it was great! You have a nice clear voice with an uncanny bitter tone to it. I bitterly enjoyed it. You should do some more, but I guess that would conflict with being lazy. Oh well, just a thought.
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I spoke with that guy and I think he would welcome me back if I was motivated enough to read another. Trying to decided if there was another post I’ve done that would be worthy of being read on a podcast. Any suggestions?
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I’m glad you asked for a suggestion BB. I am deeply humbled. I think Bitterland would be a good one to do. What do you think? But, remember I am not trying to break any lazy streaks or anything. This will require some activity on your part. I know you have already completed one Bittercast, but lazy people aren’t usually consistent, so I hope I’m not pushing you to do something that is against the Bitter Code of Conduct.
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I will probably record it while laying down on the couch, possibly upside down to even out the work I am doing.
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Hilarious post as usual BB. Hey did I miss something? You have a bittercast? Do tell, I want to listen.
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“Laziness pays off now!” Bumper sticker worthy.
I’m up East coast time reading your bitter ‘pod’ cast, so thanks.
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Always glad to help others be bitter about things.
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Blazing the bitter trail! Forging bitter routes!
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Perhaps burning down a forest would be helpful too.
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The more I read this blog, the more I hear Andy Rooney’s voice. Maybe you should get a gig on 60 minutes, even though you are 116 years too young. Mad props for Kanye’s crop circles.
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I may be too young in age, but my bitterness is way older than Andy Rooney. By the way, if you listen to the Bittercast you will get to hear my actual really old sounding voice.
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You are a weirdo, but I like it.
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Ever since I was born.
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I’m bittier about the fact that I had to scroll up all the comments in order to like this bitter blog.
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I always like to blame other things like WordPress and not me for things like that.
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If that is how Kanye feels about being responsible for a water bottle…..imagine how he will feel being responsible for….his child.
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Can you imagine him waking up on the plane and seeing the baby next to him and being like “I’m responsible for that? What am I supposed to do with it?”
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haha there is nothing worse than waking up to a baby you are suddenly responsible for
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Especially when you only had 9 months notice before it happened.
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And the media reminding you constantly
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Good thing the four nannies will take care of everything except the water bottle.
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Amazing post, I could write the book on being lazy but that’s the point isn’t it. Did Kanye really say that? Amazement.
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He had to have. Nothing ever found on the internet isn’t true.
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That GIF is hilarious.
And Kanye… Ah, Kanye… I’m just not sure what to say about that!
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You’re not sure what to say about Kanye because he will interupt you when you try to say it.
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I hate when people say you are going to miss the loud, craziness of your children when they’re gone. Sure, like I’m going to miss spending all my money on them too! 🙂
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It sure makes ignoring them a lot easier when they are gone.
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That Kanye quote just became my life philosophy.
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It’s already the unofficial theme of this blog, so glad to see you finally joining the bitter revolution.
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Makes me want to grab a pen and do the puzzle on his head. Kanye is so bitter!!
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The only difference between his bitterness is he’s got money and I don’t. So his bitterness is for water bottles and mine is for tap water.
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What I like about this, well … something, but I really can’t be bothered to think about it because it’s Friday.
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I know what you don’t like about it. That it required some reading. When I edit, I just make sure the pictures look okay. Reading requires too much.
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It was a hard week..but since it ended..so it is a great weekend. I like your bla bla bla..it got a la la la effect on my dah ! brains.Always doze off at home..and certainly not in the parlor..where anyone wants to make you experience a new hairstyle..that will be in soon..that statement has been said since on week..so its not very old but not brand new either. The lady shouldn’t have taken his pillow since it matched with her dress..the color was red and the man had to pull it off and punch in some sense to the lady with the red dress.
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People couldn’t do much to my hairstyle. Either cut it short and all of it. There wouldn’t be much of a difference. Perhaps coloring my hair blonde would be just the right trick.
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Maybe 🙂
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Definitely.
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The bitterness is hateful.
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On the scale hate to happiness, bitterness is somewhere between hate and spite.
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hahahaha. the moving GIF is … EPIC! PS- I wish Kanye would never wake up again. He’s wasting breathing air and stuff. If you flew alone on a plane, the gas would be cheaper. They would probably be happy to oblige you!
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Kayne is special kinda idioto. I could do a whole post just about him, but I have a 40 page limit on posts. Planes owe me a lot for flying on them at least once every 2 years.
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