I had my typically bitter Tuesday yesterday. Even though I am on “vacation”, I had to attend two graduations. And I’m not talking about college or high school. I’m not even talking B.I.T.T.E.R. school of Bitterness(you degraduate with dishonors there.) We are talking a graduation from Pre-school and a graduation from a fictional pioneer school that my daughter was indoctrinated in for the last two weeks. It wasn’t humiliating enough that she had to wear pioneer clothes for two weeks. They were also taught that if they spoke out in class they would be smacked on the back of their hands by a ruler and put in the corner with the dunce cap on. I am so offended by this. Why would they have to go back to the 1800’s to steal this idea? They could have just asked me to describe my school days. Or gone back to the VCR tape to see all the dunce caps I wore in high school. I still have bed head from all the dunce cap wearings and and oblong scar on my hand from the ruler beatings. I’m glad of the reminders of my need of revenge against all my former teachers, principles, and co-students. They don’t call me Revengerman for nothing.
The bitterness I have from Tuesday isn’t from those reminders but with all these graduations and the talking. I’ve mentioned on a couple of occasions that there is a study that suggests (and by suggests I mean, I say it’s true) that men talk about 7000 words a day and women are about 20,000 words. These are just the facts. Do I believe these findings? Not on your life. I think that is so wrong to suggest that women only speak 20,000 a day. A few speak less, but I guarantee you that I know for a fact(evidenced by my opinion) that most of them speak infinity words more than that. In fact, if you were to speak fast and 40 words per second, every second of every day, what would that equal? A Google?
I also know people(like me) that speak way less than 7000. I know of at least two people that I have worked with, one over a year and one 5 or 6 that have probably spoken like five words between them to me. That is still too much. I would suggest that if someone talks to me with a word, and looks at me with any type of reaction they are communicating with me too much. It is my hope that I be like Will Smith in that one movie I AM Legend, where he is with his dog and that is it. (I haven’t seen the movie, but I assume that he doesn’t meet anyone else in the entire movie and that he doesn’t talk to his dog? Am I right?)
What I am trying to say I want to be that Legend. And by that I mean don’t talk to me. With words or non verbal words. Oh and don’t graduate from something, because then I might have to attend it. And listen to words.
Bitter No Talky to me Ben
- Bitter Awareness Week (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- Post Office Bitterness (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- School carnival bitterness (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)