Mailman Bitterness

I finally found out why my mailman

I forget to tip my mailman 1 time and all of a sudden he’s really bitter.  Maybe next year I won’t send the 300 million Christmas cards I sent to the population of the United States.

I appreciate my mailman’s efficiency.  If I wouldn’t have locked the door, he wouldn’t have had to pummel the glass to get in to give me my junk mail, worthless magazine, and monthly eviction notice.  I keep getting these crazy telephone calls at 2 in the morning from a guy name Biff that says something about breaking legs.  I know that he’s just wishing me luck on my acting gig as extra #43 in Bitterness of a Salesman, but does he keep having to call me so early?  I’m just getting to bed and it makes it hard to fall asleep for my early morning noon pm brunchfast.

I’m just bitter that the mailman left the packages outside.  Can’t he punch a bigger hole in the glass so he can fit them in?  Also, it is nice that the camera caught this on tape, so I know who to thank.

On to more important news.  I have begged been asked to do a guest blog on Sass & Balderdash.  It is clearly an honor for her to have someone as bitter as I am to balance out all the good over there.  I kind of feel bad for her that she has to put up with the bitterness for the day, so please just give her a like and a comment in support of this difficult time in her blog.

Arrrghhh

Bitter “Post”Man (Get it Postman?) Ben

 

39 thoughts on “Mailman Bitterness

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  4. I kid you not: We once had a mailman who would hit on all the young women when we were home alone. He would ring the doorbell and hand deliver the mail. We all asked him to stop – but to no avail. He would continue to ring our doorbells and make creepy comments. So we all wrote a letter to the Postmaster (what a title!) who responded that as much as that guy deserved to be fired, his union kept him from doing it. So the creep carried on and we all hid from him until he finally retired.

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  5. Actually i speak backward Russian or Polish or whatever that is and what you don’t know is the sign on the door says “in postal emergency break glass”. I suggest you brush up on your backward Russian or Polish so as to avoid any further embarrassment. I’m bitter that I’ve had to take time out of my obviously busy day to clarify this.

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  6. Scary. I’m sure his relatives all work for Amazon, where they throw the TV’s and such. Really bitter.

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  7. HAHAH random post.

    Ben I got it. Let’s do the worst week thing. I am going to start writing. I was talking about it and got all sad again so I am ready.

    Like

    • He has a lot of brothers. All over the place. They have a bitter brother network or mail carriers. Haven’t you ever wondered why so much mail gets lost, stolen, damaged and delivered late?

      Like

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