Like the Da Vinci Code, but without the big payoff at the end. I call it Duh Vinci
I have long been a fan of the lottery and it’s miniscule chances to win billions of dollars. I am a sucker for not buying lottery tickets and hoping to win the big prize. Bitterly, I haven’t won yet and I blame the system for not allowing me to win it just by wishing and dreaming about what my Bitter Palace will look like. I will never get over this and will forever hold a grudge against all people, places and coincidences that get in my way of winning the lazy man’s dream.
Because I haven’t hit the crackpot yet, I am not able to offer you what I really wanted to, which is not much. Like I would share any of my non earned money. As a shameless promoter of the website http://www.bensbitterblog.wordpress.com I am proposing a contest to help more people read this blog. Hey I am not beneath bribery. If it took having bitter kittens on a video to get more people to read, I would do that. Come to think of it, a bitter cat T-shirt sounds like a great idea for a prize(high five, me!).
Your dreams of hitting it big are almost here. Just need to have some fun(Sorry sacrifices must be made.)
Enough of the preamble. Here is the game. I provide clues, you follow the clues, you put the answer to the crazy riddle in the comments, you get it correct or semi-correct and I enter you into the contest(it’s like the Da Vinci Code, but you don’t have to have bad hair or a PHd in clueology).
Now for the prize: A Grumpy Cat T-shirt…or movie tickets…or a Bitter Ben’s Blog T-shirt(joking about this. Why would anyone wear a dude’s bitter blog T-shirt?)…or…well, let’s just say that the sky is the limit, as long as the sky only costs $20. If you have a favorite CD you want to get (I know, only 40 year old dudes know what CD’s are), or if you want a gift card somewhere that is $20 or for the ladies you can find some lip gloss or a pair of shoes under that price, then you can go for it. Be creative or imaginative if you want, just know that I didn’t win the lottery.
So here are the clues:
Word number 1: Another Bitter Podcast: Word 39(update: I counted self-serving as two words) Press the like button.
Word number 2: Earth Day Bitterness: 17th word from the end starting with season. (trees-on is one word) Press the like button.
Word number 3: Door Bitterness: All the way at the bottom, even below the comments (blank) —–—at WordPress.com Press the like button.
Word number 4: The Bitterest Place on Earth the Magic Kingdom edition – Third paragraph, 3rd word. Press the like button.
Word number 5: the. Press the like button.
Word number 6: The Bitter Batman: Second paragraph sixth word. Press the like button.
Word number 7: 100th Post Bitterness: Second paragraph 16th word. Press the like Button. (only if you want.)
Word number 8: Worst Movie’s Ever Bitterness: Third word in the title of that blog post. Press the like button.
Here is your map. The treasure in clearly marked by the arrow.
There you have it. The scavenger hunt. Please feel free to look for clues on other posts that haven’t been viewed very much or in a long time(no reason). Second thing you need to do is take a look at 5 other bloggers I put links to and check them out either here or here. After having been in this blog for far too long you need to cleanse your mind of bitterness and read some funniness.
If you need help figuring out clues leave me a comment. I hope at least one person goes through all this. To the rest of you who don’t, I curse you with the bitterness of me sticking out my tongue at you.
Arrrrghhhhh
Bitter Da Vinci Ben
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1. Ben’s bitter blog is the coolest blog ever
2. I will never get those 10 minutes of my life back
3. I want $20 in pennies.
4. And also a pink unicorn.
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1. Thanks and you are correct.
2. You mean you’ve never had a more memorable 10 minutes in your life including your upcoming wedding.
3. I hope you don’t win because I don’t know how I would ship that (UPS, Fedex, Horse Drawn Carriage?)
4. I have been hunting pink unicorns. I’ll see if I can ship some pink unicorn meat. It has a bitter flavor.
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Boy you are driving us nutso with bitterness.Hey how can I score those pills they look totally rad?
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They are available from my illegal pharmacutical company. If you complete my contest you could score $20 worth of them.
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You set precedent with your opening. Therefore I refuse to do the work but insist on winning all prizes.
Bitterly yours,
The winner
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I am so bitter right now, you have no idea. I think I will do a post this morning complaining about you…and others. Oh wait, it’s out right now…..
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Hello. I am too bitter and if I’m honest, too lazy to read your post, to enter your contest. However, I did award your blog with the Liebster Award. If you go to my blog and see my latest posting about the Liebster award, or click on the link to the Liebster awards and see the second award acceptance it will tell you all you need to know. 🙂 Congrats on an awesome blog!
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I am so broken up and bitter that you didn’t enter my contest, that I just don’t know if I can accept your Bieber award. Sorry…I’m going to go cry in my little corner.
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Well, this is the best thing I could have done for your blog I suppose! I am honored to have been able to have been a muse for more bitterness for your blog! 🙂 Cheers! ….And maybe I will enter…I do actually want to win…I do feel somewhat bitter that I don’t have this t-shirt already!
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I wanted the cat T-shirt too, but they only make them in one size smaller than mine, so of course I am bitter about it. I need more muses for my blog, so thanks.
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Your answer is Bitter Aarrgh Blog is the coolest blog ever. So there.
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You were so close! Since you actually put an effort into it, you are officially entered into the Bitter Lottery. You and 3 others are in!
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i would like a bitter ben t shirt . i will not win but i think we should be able to buy them, if we don’t .
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You could easily win. There has only been 3 people to complete the thing. You would have like a 1 in 4 chance. Even so, if you really want one you that can be arranged. Would you really wear it?
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i wouldn’t win if it was a 1 in 1 chance
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Well that a bitter attitude to have…You’re on track…
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i see i for got to say of course i would wear the t shirt. who wouldn’t?
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I offered them to my best friends and they said they wouldn’t wear them. I figured blog friends wouldn’t want to either.
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well you need new best friends.that’s just mean.
i would wear it and the closer on tv too..she would wear one.
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If that is the case we will see about getting you one. As for the closer on TV, what? She has never even commented on my blog. How could she be a fan?
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thank-you/ i saw her wearimg a bitter ben t shirt on the show.,i thought
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I don’t remember that episode.
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ah you’re a good tv watcher.i remember the episode.she is so tiny in that big shirt.
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That is what most people would be in my shirts.
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i like them big so they are long and the ups man thinks you are wearing a dress..lol.. bitter how they come and leave door, before you cam get there.
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So what size are we talking about? The ones I did were 3XL cause I like them big too.
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woah nelly!i think 1X is long enough.L is long enough but i’ll take a 3XL.
my father had a shirt store- mr. shirt- up to 4XL.
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Your dad could probably do a better T-shirt for you than I could then. So is 1X the size you want?
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yes i wish.store closed in 1979…mostly dress shirts..overages from factories..
yes i want 1X.lol
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So it’s printing the most fashionable T-shirts from the early 80’s? Awesome.
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lol.i don’t understand this one? need a phd in bitter small talk.
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Your dad quit his store in the 70’s so I think he had some fashionable shirts from the early 80’s around.
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oh yeah. i still have a lot of them.
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You have all those t-shirt and you want a Dr. Bitter T-shirt? Seems like you have so many better options.
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they don’t have writing. they have collars.
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I guess my bitter shirt would be better.
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yes i need a bitter shirt…. if you want to be a bitter salesman you have to tell the next person: what size and how many would you like.
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The last thing in the world I would ever want to be is a salesman. I want to throw salesman into the ocean.
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i throw tantrums into the ocean.
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Then you are going to need to throw me into the ocean.
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sure i will throw you right in…
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You crack me up!!! Cyber treasure hunt – you are sweet 😉
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Yes, Tutti. I hope you have time to try. If not, I will be so sad….:(
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I would love to win a Grumpy Cat t-shirt, but scavenger hunts make me bitter!!! hahaha
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This is not really a scavenger hunt, but more of a longer look at a charmingly bitter blog. So, you know, what could it hurt?
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So, I know that Aaron is right, but somehow, when I did it, I came up with “Bitter don’t blog long, the coolest blog ever” 🙂
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Aaron is right and since maybe you were given the wrong info by me, (haven’t checked it out) you are officially in the Bitter Lottery! Congrats!
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Bloggers who make me do work, make me bitter. You are one very shameless blogger! Ha ha. You can keep the tee shirt.
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I will award it to someone who does like to work. I’m very bitter that you aren’t competing in my contest.
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I am not smart enough to solve the mystery. But I am certain that Ben’s Bitter Blog is the coolest blog ever!!!
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So far you are the winner. Please choose from the Chucky Cheese 100 ticket bucket.
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I’ll take the spider ring, chinese finger cuffs, and the skunk scratch-and-sniff sticker.
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If you win, you can come here to Washington to collect.
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I’m putting my best person on solving this riddle. (Me.)
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Good luck on figuring this thing out. It was just haphazardly thrown together. I don’t even know if it forms a full sentence.
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Sounds like wooooork. Cute idea though. I always read your stuff and love it.
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I know, so much worrrrkk. I put it at the top of the page, so you could do it in that minute of the day you don’t work or meet the needs of your young men. Who knows maybe they need a bitter T-shirt…
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SO much bitter fun! Going to play, despite my bitterness at the absence of a BBB Tee.
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I believe if you look in the prizes area, that is a possibilit-shirt.
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Your cheekiness makes be bitter, Ben. You present the BBB T-shirt as a prize, and then you say “..joking about this. Why would anyone wear a dude’s bitter blog T-shirt?”
Why? Out of mad-bitter respect for your work…and personal bitterness for having been required to run the gauntlet to get it.
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That was of course my bitter sarcasm coming out, because who wouldn’t want a Bitter Ben t-shirt! But you still need to follow the rules or no chance at a shirt. So far, only three have completed the challenge, so you have a pretty good shot if you do it!
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