This weekend I spent some time reflecting on this time of year(in between all the other bitter things I was doing). Daylight savings time happened, which causes us to lose an hour from our weekend, and I didn’t get my much needed lazy hour on the couch. It made me wonder what else about Daylight Savings time made me bitter. Then it came to me like a dream in the daytime (or was it in my naptime?). Light is what makes me bitter.
For some reason, the Daylight Savings Committee (DSC for short) seems to think that we need more light. Summer is only 5 months away(in Seattle it’s August), but they find the need for us to get more light. Have they considered that maybe we don’t want more? Because of light, I have to buy expensive sunglasses (it’s always the expensive ones that get lost, stolen, or broken, not the cheap ones) to shade our eyes from the light.
Also, for some reason light gets credit for people’s happiness. Why is light so much better than dark? Why did light become so much more important? I know people that some people are fans of the light(Weirdos) and they think that it gives them more energy and gets them out of depression. To that I say, blah(Yes, that is my argument.).
Let’s do an experiment and you tell me how much you love light. If, after you do this experiment, you still say that you love the light, then fine, you are entitled to your incorrect opinion. And congratulations on being a liar. So here goes:Wake up at 5 o’clock in the morning (just for the fun of it). Walk from your bedroom to your bathroom (without stepping on your kids toys, or your not kids toys) and quickly turn on the light. Do it a few times. Flick it on over and over. Then tell me which you liked better, light or dark? I choose the dark. A lot easier on my eyes.
Light is pretty full of itself. It’s so proud, that it had a whole star made it’s honor. You know, the sun. And the sun is so cocky, that it thinks the earth revolves around it. And the rest of our solar system for that matter. What do you want sun, a parade? Are you aware that if I was to come within a few hundred feet of the sun, I would get like, really hot? Think about that the next time you want to praise the sun so much.
Light is also so cocky, that it believes that nothing in the universe is as fast as it. There could be a race between Usain Bolt, the speed of sound and the speed of light and light thinks it would always win. How about we play a cruel prank on the light and tell it that in order to win it needs to light a bulb at the finish line, and “accidently” forget to put a working light bulb there. Then it wouldn’t win the Race of Legends and it wouldn’t be so full of itself. Take that, light.
Light is a diva. Dark doesn’t take all your time, money and energy in order to be awesome. When is the last time you saw a large energy bill and said, “We need to st0p leaving all the darks off. It is making our energy bill too high!” The dark even works when there is a complete power outage. On the other hand light only works when it feels like it(or when you switch on the light). And who was the genius that had to invent the stupid light bulb? Oh, it was Edison? Who is he? Did he know how much money it would cost to run them? Or how short of a time they would last? We would have been way better off being in the Dark Ages.
Light reminds me of work. I work during the day. Light works in the day too, just to spite me. And make me bitter. I say we stop doing daylights savings time so that light doesn’t think it is so important.
So who is ready to join the dark side with me? No one? Fine. I will go stew in my corner in the dark.
Arrgghhh it’s so bright! I’m forced to wear shades!
All images found on Google
- Daylight Saving Time Wastes Electricity (blogs.wsj.com)
- Florida considers extending daylight savings time year round, should Alabama do the same? (with poll) (al.com)
- Bitter Benniversary (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- Medical Science Bitterness (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)