This is how people from the old days found out about things. It’s called a “newspaper”.
If you are from Seattle, maybe you have heard of this travesty of a blog called the “Bitter Barista”. I don’t want to get this dude any more famous than he already is, but he is this guy who works at a coffee shop who started a blog about things that made him bitter while at work. They would just be short sentences about how he poisoned someone’s coffee or stole change from a little girl and told their mom that she was irresponsible for not watching her daughter’s money, stuff like that. Then, of course, he got fired from his executive barista position and it was reported in the “newspaper”. I know that many of you have never heard of the “newspaper”, but it was this old timey thing that reported all the news before Google and the internet were invented. Anyways, this so called “Bitter Barista”, got all kinds of credit for being fired and all of a sudden got Seattle famous for his blog. And of course, his phone is ringing off the hook for all kinds of job offers from other coffee companies offering him an equally lucrative offer of barista at their coffee shops. This guy does not make me bitter.
Seattle is famous for two things in this picture. Coffee and Pike Place public market fish throwing. I propose we start a combination of the two called scalding hot coffee throwing. (The third thing we are famous for is rain, which is not actually not pictured here. This photo was taken on our yearly “sun day”.)
Some people take the time to think about things they are bitter about, and talk about them in clever ways. Some people just write things they are bitter about in not clever ways, get fired and get more publicity for their blogs. It almost makes we want to walk up to the CEO of my wonderful company and ask to be fired, so I can get a lucrative offer to do a “Ben’s Bitter Blog Book”, but then I realize that I would be getting famous for being lame. And I would be accused of trying to copy the “Bitter Coffee” guy blog, even though I clearly started my bitter blog long before this bitter wanna be.
They say that the definition of bitterness is being “this close” to getting exactly what you want. Well, in that case this bitter dude does not make me bitter. I am more bitter about just about everything else from the “Academy Awards” to zebra colors. On the bitter scale, this dude doesn’t even rank in the top 1 billion things that I am bitter about. Just making sure I do a lengthly post about how little bitterness I have about this guy.
Ehhhhh
Bitter Ben
P.S. Speaking of the Academy Awards, I live tweeted about them last night on Twitter.com. If you want to see my bitter observations, check out my twitter account, https://twitter.com/Benadman
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