Bitter Barista Bitterness

This is how people from the old days found out about things.  It's called a "newspaper".

This is how people from the old days found out about things. It’s called a “newspaper”.

If you are from Seattle, maybe you have heard of this travesty of a blog called the “Bitter Barista”.  I don’t want to get this dude any more famous than he already is, but he is this guy who works at a coffee shop who started a blog about things that made him bitter while at work.  They would just be short sentences about how he poisoned someone’s coffee or stole change from a little girl and told their mom that she was irresponsible for not watching her daughter’s money, stuff like that.  Then, of course, he got fired from his executive barista position and it was reported in the “newspaper”.  I know that many of you have never heard of the “newspaper”, but it was this old timey thing that reported all the news before Google and the internet were invented.  Anyways, this so called “Bitter Barista”, got all kinds of credit for being fired and all of a sudden got Seattle famous for his blog.  And of course, his phone is ringing off the hook for all kinds of job offers from other coffee companies offering him an equally lucrative offer of barista at their coffee shops. This guy does not make me bitter.

Seattle is famous for three things in this picture.  Coffee, Pike Place public market fish throwing and the rain.  (Rain actually not pictured.  This photo was taken on yearly "sun day".)

Seattle is famous for two things in this picture. Coffee and Pike Place public market fish throwing. I propose we start a combination of the two called scalding hot coffee throwing. (The third thing we are famous for is rain, which is not actually not pictured here. This photo was taken on our yearly “sun day”.) 

Some people take the time to think about things they are bitter about, and talk about them in clever ways.  Some people just write things they are bitter about in not clever ways, get fired and get more publicity for their blogs.  It almost makes we want to walk up to the CEO of my wonderful company and ask to be fired, so I can get a lucrative offer to do a “Ben’s Bitter Blog Book”, but then I realize that I would be getting famous for being lame.  And I would be accused of trying to copy the “Bitter Coffee” guy blog, even though I clearly started my bitter blog long before this bitter wanna be.

They say that the definition of bitterness is being “this close” to getting exactly what you want.  Well, in that case this bitter dude does not make me bitter.  I am more bitter about just about everything else from the “Academy Awards” to zebra colors.  On the bitter scale, this dude doesn’t even rank in the top 1 billion things that I am bitter about.  Just making sure I do a lengthly post about how little bitterness I have about this guy.

Ehhhhh

Bitter Ben

P.S.  Speaking of the Academy Awards, I live tweeted about them last night on Twitter.com.  If you want to see my bitter observations, check out my twitter account, https://twitter.com/Benadman

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51 thoughts on “Bitter Barista Bitterness

    • Pretty funny how I don’t even drink coffee and don’t know any barista’s and yet this ding dong gets a book deal because he got fired. I guess I need to do something stupid to get a book deal.

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  1. If my town only had one day of sun per year, I also would be (more) bitter. Then I would steal your idea and call my blog Mo’ Bitter Blues, because that is not racist, and racist is bad. But then again, you clearly like the dark, so maybe it’s good that it’s cloudy there. Maybe you could take up coalmining? That’s super dark.

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    • At least when you are blind you won’t have to see how crappy the awards shows are….I had a lot of fun at the end live blogging bitter things about it. I can’t explain how fun it is to make fun of celebrities. I think Jennifer Lawrence kind of fell into that award….:)

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  2. Uh, he sounds like a person I would never want to work with. I was the manager of Settle’s Best in Borders (which was technically not a real position as there was supposed to be someone above me that oversaw two areas, but there was no one and I did that job so MANAGER I was :p) Anyway… you make fucking coffee bro, it’s easy and people suck. You are always gonna get some neurotic fuck that’s like “ohhhhhh let me tell you how to make a capachino”… yeahhhhhhhh you want cream in that it’s a fucking latte, but to make a blog about being a kind of shitty barista that’s mad at the customers and not the fact that you are stuck in a dead end job that brings joy to people that basically need an IV in their arm filled with caffeine, is ridiculous and kind of sad. Unbitter on my friend.

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    • I get the part about him wanting to blog about stuff. But I don’t get the getting fired so he can get a book deal thing. And also getting famous for getting fired. It’s one thing to do a blog and get followers because your stuff is good, but a wholely different thing to get famous for getting fired. His blog is garbage and he is probably going to get a book deal out of it. Meanwhile both of our blogs are good and we can barely get anyone to read our good stuff.

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      • You read my stuff and I read your stuff, that’s enough for me 🙂 but yes I understand… well get yourself fired and then get a book deal, then be like YOU GUYS ARE SO STUPID TO LIKE ME ONLY CAUSE I GOT FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was under the impression people didn’t like others in retail to bitch about them, apparently that is where I went wrong, should have had a blog working at Borders. 😛

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