I was born in California to a really old guy named my dad, and a really nice young lady I nicknamed mom. I don't remember much from that first year, other than crying a lot and pretending that I was too weak to change my own diaper. We lived on this street called Sunny Slope … Continue reading Unstable Network BFG’s
Matrix
We’ve Been Programmed BFG’s
I just went back to the movie theater this past Monday for the first time in a year. If I said that sentence to 27-year-old Bitter Ben, he would have two questions for me. Did movie theaters become extinct? The second question would be, "Are you dead?" When I was in my 20's I went … Continue reading We’ve Been Programmed BFG’s
Enter the Matrix BFG’s
The other day I decided to do something really different at work. After listening to another podcast about why I am dying at slow death every day from sitting too much, I stood up, and walked away from my desk. It wasn't for very long, of course, but enough to actually make a journey to … Continue reading Enter the Matrix BFG’s
Man’s Search for Comedy
I've spent the last 49 years cultivating a wit so sharp that onions cry when I cut them. Ninja's use my wit to sharpen their blades. Comedians wear ski masks and avoid detection from my brain's security system just to steal jokes from me. I feel like Usain Bolt slowing down for a turtle when … Continue reading Man’s Search for Comedy
Choose your own adventure BFG’s
Growing up in California, one of my earliest memories was when I was 5. My mom made me and my brother some capes made out of felt and a little buckle to fasten around our necks. I, of course, was Superman, because he could fly and my brother was Batman, because he liked brooding in … Continue reading Choose your own adventure BFG’s
Movie Trailer Bitterness
It is that time of year. You know what I'm talking about. Summer. Okay, not calendarly for another 3 weeks. And not weather wise because it is still gray and cloudy. Not in school terms either, because our kids aren't out yet. And not summer barbeque wise yet, because we haven't had any summer bar-b-que's at work … Continue reading Movie Trailer Bitterness
Ben's Bitter Blog 