The days are getting darker and darker, which as you know, means that it is almost Christmas. The celebration of the birth of Jesus. Which is funny because we know he wasn't actually born in December. He was actually born in the spring. The reason why the Holiday Committee moved Christmas to December is because … Continue reading The Bitter Holiday Committee BFG’s
Hibernation BFG’s
When I first moved to South Dakota in June of 1981, we lived in a hotel for three months while our house was being built. Living in a hotel for three months was awesome for a bitter 8-year-old. My dad's company paid for everything, so we got to eat breakfast at the hotel every morning. … Continue reading Hibernation BFG’s
Hey Chat BFG’s
The other day when I was doing my early-morning, freezing-in-the-dark-and-cold jog/walking, I was reminiscing about and accomplishment that Tim Duncan, who is one of the All-Time Great NBA players, achieved. He won NBA titles in three different decades. His first one was in 1999, he got three more in the 00's, and then he got … Continue reading Hey Chat BFG’s
It’s Manatee Madness Month BFG’s
Every year since I've started to write, there's been this NaNoWriMO thing hovering over me, telling me to write 50,000 words in a month. As much fun as it sounds to write that many words, (which I might actually do with my blog and book combined), I don't know how in the world they expect … Continue reading It’s Manatee Madness Month BFG’s
Cluster Bombs
The biggest reason for bitterness of all time is traffic. I'm so bitter that I've spent 25% of my life sitting in a slow-moving, four-wheel metal container for hours next to raging psychopaths that were one accident removed from going Simpson's Road Rage on someone. It's a dangerous place out there, and one I've spent … Continue reading Cluster Bombs
Keystone BFG’s
When I was 21 years old, I just got home from serving a mission for my church, and I was looking for a summer job, so I could have some money for college. I didn't want to work at Little Caesar's for the minimum wage of $2.75 anymore, so I found a job at a … Continue reading Keystone BFG’s
Game Hooks BFG’s
Last night was probably the best Halloween ever. After work, I went home expecting to have to hand out free candy to a bunch of brats that didn't deserve it. I heard the first doorbell ring of the night, and my wife was on the phone. She quickly told me that she didn't buy any … Continue reading Game Hooks BFG’s
I’m walking for President BFG’s
I've never been a big Halloween guy. Even the best part about Halloween, the candy, was ruined by Halloween. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Before Halloween, the world was filled with full sized candy bars as far as the eye could see. But then Halloween got this horrible idea to ruin candy, by … Continue reading I’m walking for President BFG’s
ASMR Bitterness
I like to call October, November and December the holiday quadrant of the year. Many believe that September is the beginning of it all, because some people start decorating for Halloween in September. Every month in the holiday quadrant has a major holiday that people start celebrating extra early for, starting with Halloween, transitioning to … Continue reading ASMR Bitterness
Landlord BFG’s
My son had a pretty great game last night in his football game. He plays defensive end which means that he is supposed to eat quarterbacks for breakfast. I wish he would eat more quarterbacks for breakfast, because then he wouldn't eat out as much at expensive fast-food places. His team was losing most of … Continue reading Landlord BFG’s
Live Streaming BFG’s
I'm going to sound like a bitter old man here, which I am, but back in my day, when we wanted to the whole world to see us, to be famous, we had to get famous by getting on TV or making it big on the radio. To get famous enough to be on TV, … Continue reading Live Streaming BFG’s
Skill Tree BFG’s
Even though I lived in Seattle for 15 years, I never became a big fan of trees. I've certainly never hugged one like most of the people there did. Yes, I'm fully aware that trees provide oxygen, they store our carbon dioxide and are a big part of the lore of forests. I'm also aware … Continue reading Skill Tree BFG’s
Transfer Portal BFG’s
At this very moment I'm planning my escape from work early by pulling the fire alarm. My son's football game is two hours away (if there is no traffic), so I need to leave early. Alternatively, I might also just email my boss and ask if I can leave early. I haven't decided yet. My … Continue reading Transfer Portal BFG’s
Making Footprints BFG’s
I was today years old when I realized that I've lived in not one, but two places that had forests on the property. When I was 6-8 years old, we lived in Long Island, NY, in a house that had a forest in the back yard. I'd like to say that I explored that forest … Continue reading Making Footprints BFG’s
Reading the Room BFG’s
People always tell me that if you want to be a good writer, you should read a lot. Reading helps a lot because you can model your writing after someone, or you can learn new techniques when you read a lot. I wish I could read more, because I love a good book. But for … Continue reading Reading the Room BFG’s
Snapshots and Soundbites BFG’s
It was always ridiculous for me to think that I could have an effect on the world. I grew up with the delusion that I would be able to change the world. When I turned 30 or so I realized that it just wasn't going to happen. When I realized that, I just gave up … Continue reading Snapshots and Soundbites BFG’s
Muckduck BFG’s
"R is the most menacing sound. That's why they call it murder, not muckduck." - Dwight K. Shrute, poet laureate. It is absolutely shocking to me that the sixth commandment, "Thou shalt not kill," which I look at as the most obvious sin against humanity, is so fascinating to humans. If you think about it, … Continue reading Muckduck BFG’s
Musical Chairs BFG’s
A few weeks ago, we were watching the movie, Young Woman and the Sea, which is about the first girl to swim the English Channel. I wasn't aware that people could swim channels, but I knew they could surf channels. When I surf channels, I like to surf the ESPN channel. Mostly because I like … Continue reading Musical Chairs BFG’s
Bitter Trance BFG’s
I'm one of those people like Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison that doesn't like sleep that much. The difference being that I've found a way to make those waking hours much less efficient by inventing nothing. I've always been a night owl because I get FOMVG, which of course means, Fear of … Continue reading Bitter Trance BFG’s
Spite Claiming BFG’s
I come from a long line of hoarders. When I say a long line of hoarders, I'm talking about the females in my family. My mother and mother-in-law, both hoarders. Both my sisters are hoarders, and I'm sure a long line of grandma's, great grandma's and probably aunts in there somewhere too. Growing up, I … Continue reading Spite Claiming BFG’s
Ben's Bitter Blog 