You have no idea how much of a burden I carry on a daily basis. My brain is constantly full because I only have capacity for 20 Gigs of information, but it is full of really bad ideas. I have to have an external drive to put all the bad ideas. I put a lot … Continue reading Cracking Necks and Cashing Checks
My 10% Rule BFG’s
I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. Actually, I don't know if I want to do that, because I heard sharing a secret with a person turns them into a friend and I definitely don't need or want one of those. Friends are too messy and they always betray you anyways. … Continue reading My 10% Rule BFG’s
Rewriting History BFG’s
Remember when your teachers lied to you about needing math because you would need it in your career someday? And how you laugh at your teacher now, because not only do you have a calculator on your phone, computer and Ipad, but you have Excel at work to help you figure out any possible mathematical … Continue reading Rewriting History BFG’s
Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
I've been in the working industry for a long time. When I was a kid, my dad told me that there was no such thing as a free lunch. Since I was born at 8 pm at night, I was already proven as the laziest family member because I didn't have my first job until … Continue reading Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
Man’s Search for Comedy
I've spent the last 49 years cultivating a wit so sharp that onions cry when I cut them. Ninja's use my wit to sharpen their blades. Comedians wear ski masks and avoid detection from my brain's security system just to steal jokes from me. I feel like Usain Bolt slowing down for a turtle when … Continue reading Man’s Search for Comedy
Office Drone Bitter Friday Giftures
Since I like to avoid people as much as possible, I started watching YouTube videos on my headphones at work, so I could zone people out. One of the Youtubers I started watching was Casey Neistat. Some people might know him for a few viral videos he made, but he was mostly popular because he … Continue reading Office Drone Bitter Friday Giftures
Don’t be an Idiom Bitterness
Expressions are meant to sound catchy and easy to remember, and as a means for uncreative people to fill up their Instagram feeds. A long time ago, I thought quotes were motivational. This was back when I was a single celled organism, and I had no idea how to be creative. But as soon as … Continue reading Don’t be an Idiom Bitterness
Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
There is a popular song out right now called Victoria's Secret by a singer named Jax. If you've never heard it, or paid attention to the lyrics (which I almost never do), it's basically a parody about all the things that Victoria's Secret "teaches" society about what women should look like. In one of the … Continue reading Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
When I was young, I loved the Transformers. Coming home to watch the Transformers was my reward for making it through a hard 6-hour day of school. One of my favorite characters was the advanced scout, Mirage, because he could turn invisible and would warn the Autobots of an early attack by Decepticons. I must … Continue reading Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
Ben’s Bitter Algorithm BFG’s
If I was Marty McFly and had access to the Delorean and could move forward to the year 2022, I certainly would not. As we learned in March 2020, nothing good has ever come past that date. In 2019, we had just passed the Golden Age of movies, and life itself. Avengers End Game was … Continue reading Ben’s Bitter Algorithm BFG’s
Testing The Waters Bitterness
If there is one thing that I didn't like about school, besides having to be around people, and dealing with authority figures, and the homework, and the reading and the math and the science and the cold weather, and the bullying and the broken system that schools are, it was the tests. I never understood … Continue reading Testing The Waters Bitterness
The REAL History of Thanksgiving
I've always been an advocate of short work weeks. I've been pushing my company really hard to go to the 1-day work week for some time. So far, so bad. We did recently reach a compromise of me keeping me job by working 5 days a week. Don't worry though. They are starting to crack. … Continue reading The REAL History of Thanksgiving
Sports Torture BFG’s
Last Friday, I pretended I was sick so I could leave work early. Normally when I pretend I'm sick I just go home and play video games and sleep on the couch. But this time, it was for unselfish reasons. Instead of being lazy, I actually intentionally decided to go outside and sit in the … Continue reading Sports Torture BFG’s
The Benefits of Following a Bitter Blogger
At my last count there were 8 billion, 400 million, 538 thousand, 436 people on earth at this very moment. Oh shoot, we just lost a few. And some crying kids were just born. Dang it! That throws off my count. Don't worry, I'll get the final count by the end of this blog. But … Continue reading The Benefits of Following a Bitter Blogger
The Tetris Effect BFG’s
The reason why I love video games so much is that I've been involved in a lot of video games firsts. In 1979, when home video games were just tiny little babies, I got an Atari 2600. I was the first person I knew to have one of them. I had no idea that that … Continue reading The Tetris Effect BFG’s
7 Deadly Sins
It's kind of hilarious that some people claim that I'm not a writer. It's true that my pièce de résistance, my epic masterpiece of writing, has never been published, or that I've even written the second draft yet. I've never even had a piece of writing published except for one short story in a magazine … Continue reading 7 Deadly Sins
Shape Shifting Bitter Friday Giftures
As you probably know, someday this blog will be made into a book. As such, I should be like all the diligent, disciplined and enthusiastic writers working on NaNoWriMo, but as we all know, writing a novel in November is ridiculous. Whoever decided that November is the month we should all be writing the first … Continue reading Shape Shifting Bitter Friday Giftures
Content Creator Bitterness
My wife likes to tell people that I had my mid-life crisis back in 2016. I was getting really sick of the job I had been working at for 15 years and I didn't want to work there anymore. In addition, I didn't really know what I wanted to do for a career either. I … Continue reading Content Creator Bitterness
Driving you up the paywall BFG’s
As a sign of appreciation for feeding her for 18 years, and allowing her to stay rent-free in our house, my daughter abandoned us to go to college. Pretty great gesture if you ask me. Then she decided that she didn't want to go to college right across the freeway from us so she could … Continue reading Driving you up the paywall BFG’s
Picking Up the Pieces
For some stupid reason, every morning before I go to work, I watch the news. It's the local news, so all they talk about is who got murdered, what accidents happened and the stupid weather. But today, they were so excited because they discovered and overnight four-alarm apartment fire to feature as breaking news. They … Continue reading Picking Up the Pieces
Ben's Bitter Blog 