Back in the early 2000's, before I had raging headaches and monster debt (known as my kids), we went on a trip to the Bahamas. I thought it would be a dream tropical vacation, because I saw James Bond there once. Then I discovered the Bahamas was just a third world country with one nice … Continue reading Bermuda Triangle BFG’s
Comedy
Solving the National Debt BFG’s
I'm not known as a problem solver. In fact, the only instance there is on the books of me solving problems is when my wife wants to vent. As you know, women don't want you to solve their problems, they just want you to listen. She was trying to tell me that, but I was … Continue reading Solving the National Debt BFG’s
The Eye of Sauron BFG’s
Here's a controversial statement. I've never read the Lord of the Rings. I've also only seen the Fellowship of the Rings once, the extended version, and I was so bored that I started calling it Lord of the Borings. I realize that some people will never forgive me for saying those words. That's fine. There … Continue reading The Eye of Sauron BFG’s
Shortcut BFG’s
When I was 6 years old, I lived in Long Island, New York. Real estate must not have been near as expensive as it is now, because we had this pretty big house, a long circular driveway, and plenty of property in the backyard. We easily could have built a Field of Dreams baseball stadium … Continue reading Shortcut BFG’s
404 BFG’s
If you're looking to be less fragile, by sleeping a little more, this will help.* About two weeks ago, I reached for the door handle on my Fiat 500e and my frail, 50-year old weakling hands broke the door handle. I was in a hurry, so I just tried to figure out if I could … Continue reading 404 BFG’s
Bitterfy Wrapped BFG’s
My favorite headphones to listen to when I'm Bitterfy Wrapping up the year of music. These are the Soundcore Anker Life Q-20's. I also use them at the gym and the noise cancelling really helps tune out the world and helps me forget all the pain of working out.* I've talked about this many times … Continue reading Bitterfy Wrapped BFG’s
A Link To the Past BFG’s
How cool would it be to give these adorable Link and Zelda sets for Christmas to your kids or Grandkids? Or if you are me, get it for myself when no one is looking?* Back in the day when The Legend of Zelda first came out, I played that game for 2 weeks straight until … Continue reading A Link To the Past BFG’s
Pounding the Rock
The Spurs might be bad this year, even with a generational rookie in Victor Wembanyama, but the Spurs Coyote never fails as one of the best mascots in the NBA. Get the adorable plushy by clicking the link. * I'm not much of an inspirational quote guy, because inspiration usually comes in bursts and then … Continue reading Pounding the Rock
How the Mighty Has Fallen BFG’s
The American Dream is to become Assistant to the Regional Manager. Purchase the regional manager shirt by clicking the link.* We have this thing in America called the American Dream. It's the hope, belief, or dream that anyone that lives here, no matter how poor, unintelligent or resource deprived can with a little ambition, make … Continue reading How the Mighty Has Fallen BFG’s
Closing Time BFG’s
Get some Creatine. In Season 8 of The Office, Andy starts singing Closing Time as part of his everyday routine to close out the workday. After doing it several dozen times, everyone in the office is sick of hearing it, except for one surprise character, Stanley. Stanely sings it with gusto, not because he likes … Continue reading Closing Time BFG’s
Dad Jokes BFG’s
I've had quite a story arc with my sense of humor. When I was a child, I was fairly serious, and the only thing that was funny about me was my hair. My mom was really bad about taking care of my it, so even when it was a formal occasion, she would somehow forget … Continue reading Dad Jokes BFG’s
Alien Invaders BFG’s
Do you ever wonder where you were when significant things happened in your lifetime? I've lived on this greasy rock for half a century, so a lot of time to wonder. I've had almost no involvement with most of the world's significant world events, but I often wonder what insignificant thing I was doing at … Continue reading Alien Invaders BFG’s
Vamping with Vitterness BFG’s
The Office is my favorite show for a lot of reasons, but my favorite reason is Michael Scott. Even though he is the boss, and I never will be one, I identify with him the most, because we are so alike. Being incompetent is the biggest similarity, but there is also our constant need to … Continue reading Vamping with Vitterness BFG’s
A Phone by any Other Name BFG’s
I remember the first time I texted. It was 2003, and my wife got me one of those tiny Nokia pay-as-you-go, rectangular, gray, tiny-buttoned relics. I had no use for this thing, because I've hated talking to people in general since birth, but more specifically on the phone. She insisted that I get one so … Continue reading A Phone by any Other Name BFG’s
This post went to the birds BFG’s
When I lived in Seattle the weather was much milder, and there were a lot more trees, the birds loved hanging around there. When I lived there, I was raising young kids, so there was a competition between the birds and the tiny humans about who could be louder and prevent me from sleeping the … Continue reading This post went to the birds BFG’s
Gold Star Feedback BFG’s
As a video game fanatic, I need the latest and greatest console. But I also need the latest and greatest TV to be up to par with the processing power of the console. I want to make sure every pixel of the TV is optimized for my gaming. I finally have the optimum setup, with … Continue reading Gold Star Feedback BFG’s
Way Off Balance BFG’s
Yesterday, unlike most of my days at work, I spent most of the day trying to help balance a 13-story building of bottles to spell two words. It was a promotional video for Prime Day, and our social media team decided that we were going to build a wall of bottles and then smash through … Continue reading Way Off Balance BFG’s
Bored Games BFG’s
When I was in junior high, it was perfectly acceptable to be outside all day long with no adult supervision. In fact, most parents expected it. I would often get on my 10-speed bike and go for epic bike rides around the city. It was Sioux Falls, SD, in the 80's, so it was the … Continue reading Bored Games BFG’s
World Building Bitterness
I like to brag to my kids that back in the early 90's, I worked outside in -30-degree weather. Awesome humblebrag, huh? I didn't walk to school uphill both ways, so this is my version of miserable suffering my kids need to know, anytime they get mad at me when the wi-fi doesn't work for … Continue reading World Building Bitterness
Out of Focus BFG’s
I remember a unit of science in 7th grade dedicated to learning about kinetic energy. I couldn't imagine what kinetic energy was then, because it was only a concept and I'm a visual learner. I know what it is now, because for the last several years, I've been one of the adult leaders of a … Continue reading Out of Focus BFG’s
Ben's Bitter Blog 