I was born in California to a really old guy named my dad, and a really nice young lady I nicknamed mom. I don't remember much from that first year, other than crying a lot and pretending that I was too weak to change my own diaper. We lived on this street called Sunny Slope … Continue reading Unstable Network BFG’s
Blogging
The Bitter Holiday Committee BFG’s
The days are getting darker and darker, which as you know, means that it is almost Christmas. The celebration of the birth of Jesus. Which is funny because we know he wasn't actually born in December. He was actually born in the spring. The reason why the Holiday Committee moved Christmas to December is because … Continue reading The Bitter Holiday Committee BFG’s
Hey Chat BFG’s
The other day when I was doing my early-morning, freezing-in-the-dark-and-cold jog/walking, I was reminiscing about and accomplishment that Tim Duncan, who is one of the All-Time Great NBA players, achieved. He won NBA titles in three different decades. His first one was in 1999, he got three more in the 00's, and then he got … Continue reading Hey Chat BFG’s
Bitter Trance BFG’s
I'm one of those people like Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison that doesn't like sleep that much. The difference being that I've found a way to make those waking hours much less efficient by inventing nothing. I've always been a night owl because I get FOMVG, which of course means, Fear of … Continue reading Bitter Trance BFG’s
Total Eclipse of the Smart BFG’s
On Monday April 8th, there is going to be a total eclipse of the sun. I'm sensing an excitement around the country and perhaps the world. I don't know how many of you will be going to a certain location to witness the eclipse, but I assume that many of you are. I am actually … Continue reading Total Eclipse of the Smart BFG’s
Hand Me Ups BFG’s
Before we get started with the regularly scheduled blog post, last week was my 12-year Bitter Blogiversary. You should probably congratulate me on being bitter for 12 years now. Back to your regularly schedule blog post. My son is adopted, and his story is quite interesting. After I get famous from writing my first novel … Continue reading Hand Me Ups BFG’s
Dundie Award Winning Blog BFG’s
When I was in college, I used to love movies. I would go to at least 3 or 4 a month. They weren't as expensive back then, and I never fell for expensive popcorn or candy trick. I even used to work in a theater, so I got to see free movies (and get free … Continue reading Dundie Award Winning Blog BFG’s
Closing Time BFG’s
Get some Creatine. In Season 8 of The Office, Andy starts singing Closing Time as part of his everyday routine to close out the workday. After doing it several dozen times, everyone in the office is sick of hearing it, except for one surprise character, Stanley. Stanely sings it with gusto, not because he likes … Continue reading Closing Time BFG’s
Logging In As a New Character BFG’s
I've been simultaneously listening and watching the movie Ready Player One a lot in the last month. A lot of fans of the book hated the movie, because they are wildly different. I was lucky enough to have seen the movie first and the read the book, so the movie didn't taint my feelings of … Continue reading Logging In As a New Character BFG’s
Dad Jokes BFG’s
I've had quite a story arc with my sense of humor. When I was a child, I was fairly serious, and the only thing that was funny about me was my hair. My mom was really bad about taking care of my it, so even when it was a formal occasion, she would somehow forget … Continue reading Dad Jokes BFG’s
Alien Invaders BFG’s
Do you ever wonder where you were when significant things happened in your lifetime? I've lived on this greasy rock for half a century, so a lot of time to wonder. I've had almost no involvement with most of the world's significant world events, but I often wonder what insignificant thing I was doing at … Continue reading Alien Invaders BFG’s
Rotational BFG’s
I've heard of some people that have lived in the same place, and the same home all their lives. I don't know if I can even comprehend that kind of situation, because I've been a nomad all my life. In chronological order, I've lived in California, New York, South Dakota, Idaho, 8 different locations in … Continue reading Rotational BFG’s
Gold Star Feedback BFG’s
As a video game fanatic, I need the latest and greatest console. But I also need the latest and greatest TV to be up to par with the processing power of the console. I want to make sure every pixel of the TV is optimized for my gaming. I finally have the optimum setup, with … Continue reading Gold Star Feedback BFG’s
Way Off Balance BFG’s
Yesterday, unlike most of my days at work, I spent most of the day trying to help balance a 13-story building of bottles to spell two words. It was a promotional video for Prime Day, and our social media team decided that we were going to build a wall of bottles and then smash through … Continue reading Way Off Balance BFG’s
World Building Bitterness
I like to brag to my kids that back in the early 90's, I worked outside in -30-degree weather. Awesome humblebrag, huh? I didn't walk to school uphill both ways, so this is my version of miserable suffering my kids need to know, anytime they get mad at me when the wi-fi doesn't work for … Continue reading World Building Bitterness
The Bitter Power Struggle BFG’s
Being a man of the modern age, I am quite fond of power. Not the kind of power that allows you to lord over people, no. I'm much fonder of the kind of power that lights my house and runs my internet. When I first moved to Seattle, I only envisioned a few things. I … Continue reading The Bitter Power Struggle BFG’s
Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures
I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had made the most awkward transition of my life from elementary school to junior high. It was the first day of 7th Grade English, and my teacher asked us all to do my least favorite thing ever. The thing an anxiety ridden, shy, introverted, new-to-junior-high kid … Continue reading Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures
Side Quests BFG’s
Unlike most college students, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I've always been bitter, and my life is all about taking over the world so I can spread bitterness throughout the world. I only went to college to figure out the best way to do that. Of course, college failed … Continue reading Side Quests BFG’s
Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
My wife likes to make fun of me because I'm a routine-oriented guy. I go to sleep at the same time, I wake up at the same time. I eat eggs and peanut butter sandwiches all the time. I always blog on Wednesday's and Friday's. I have a lot of the same daily routines at … Continue reading Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
Bitter Writer’s Strike
When I was a freshman in college, my first class, in my first semester at 7 am, was an English class. I remember it well for two reasons. The first, was that the teacher reminded me of a combination of George McFly from Back to The Future and Bern Gorman (the guy that would have … Continue reading Bitter Writer’s Strike
Ben's Bitter Blog 