Hair Raising Bitter Friday Giftures

I’ve always had a hairy relationship with hair. When I was a little kid, my parents weren’t really into, shall we say, combing mine for me. Many people thought that I had stuck my finger in a light socket. Let’s just say that the only thing I had in common with Einstein was our hair. It was frightening to see in pictures.

As I’ve aged I’ve had to worry about it less and less, because hair has basically divorced me and moved out. There are a few loyal ones remaining, but every 4 weeks or so I’m cutting them, so even they are thinking about moving on. Which I am all too happy to let them leave. I’m not a big fan of hair. It is disgusting when you find them in your food, or somehow get them in your mouth. And finding them in our shower or in my wife’s sink just about make me gag. I think I am less afraid of public speaking, heights and dying than I am of hair. In fact, if I was in an action movie, and my character was an all powerful hero like Thor, my one weakness would be hair. I would have welcomed his haircut in Thor Ragnorok instead of having to wear that long hair wig for so long.

In short, hair is my weakness. As is short introductions to my Bitter Friday Giftures…

I could never in a million years…

hair unfolds GIF

…imagine having hair like this.

Nor could I…

Bad Hair Space GIF

…tolerate having hair this long.

Don’t even get me started on…

beards GIF

...on how grossed out this makes me.

I can only not shave for about 4 days…

Chs Field Chef GIF by St. Paul Saints

…before I’m itchin like a kitchen.

And if I ever find a hair in my food…

sick gagging GIF

…it’s all over for me.

If you ever intentionally dangle a hair in front of me…

brad pitt you do not talk about fight club GIF

…you better be prepared for entering the fight club.

If I had a nightmare I would be less frightened of Satan…

Sport Olympics GIF by Olympic Channel

…than seeing this guy in my nightmare.

I’m itching right now…

black and white hair GIF by louis16art

…as I watch this nightmare scenario.

I’m gagging just seeing…

disgusted homer simpson GIF


Speaking of the Simpson’s…

happy homer simpson GIF

…I think Homer has too much hair.

If I was a superhero…

manga GIF

…this girl’s hair would be my weakness.

And this would be…

shaving shave GIF

…my Mjolnir.

So now that you know my weakness, what are some of yours? What do you use to fight against the tyranny?


Bitter Hair Raising Ben

12 thoughts on “Hair Raising Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. Ben,
    I wish I could unsee that beard bowl – Yuk. I disliked beards before reading your post. NOW, I loath them!
    As for my weaknesses – I have many. The biggest one is garment tags. A close runner-up is teeth, mine in particular. Since this is your blog I won’t go into details. You can find the various “rants” by searching on
    Have a wonderful weekend. We are supposed to get snow.
    Jodi Lea


  2. Ha! The beard one brought back a memory. In 1971, I was a waitress working in a hotel and the Doobie Brothers came in and I waited on them. They all had beards. They all ordered baked potatoes with sour cream. By the time they were done eating, their beards looked like the guy’s in the giff.


Your Bitter Comments

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.