Bitter Fancy Polish

/ bensbitterblog

 

Because lots of humans are visual creatures, it is pretty easy to trick them. For instance, I could wear a recently dry cleaned suit, a freshly ironed white shirt, perfectly creased pants, shiny polished shoes and really nice haircut and most people (IE you) would not be able to tell the difference between me and a slick high paid New York City lawyer from Suits.

Thanks to our eyes being probably the coolest (and probably the most overrated) feature we have, a lot of us base things on beauty. We love to look at Instagram because it shows us beautiful pictures and and our eyes think that the people that post them have amazing lives. Our brains are smarter than that, but a lot of times our eyes overrule our brains, because our brains are the nerds and our eyes are the popular kids in school that people worship, even though we know they are probably terrible people.

The same thing we do every night.

Thankfully, I am bitter and I love to take advantage of people, much like the Brain of Pinky and the Brain fame. Even though I’m just one human, I have this super ability to be on social media and use it for my bitter ambitions.

Whenever you guys give me the ability to use something to my advantage, I’m going to take it.

So bully your nerdy brain and push it into the locker and let your popular boy or girl eyes look at my beautiful looking infographic that you are going to like, subscribe, comment and share, because it is the GOPro 4K TV of graphics and you don’t care about stupid words. You just care about the graphics.

Just make sure that at the end of reading the pretty infographic that you get hypnotized and do everything it tells you to. Because you are mesmerized by it.

 

 

 

ARRRRGGHHHHH

Bitter Fancy Polish Ben

 

33 thoughts on “Bitter Fancy Polish”

  2. This is great!! I love it! What program did you use to make it? I was working on making some, too. But then, you know, the muffins and dishes got in the way. 😛 But, would love to get back to trying more when I can find the time.

    I really love the layout of this one! And, as always, LOVE the ironic humor of all your stuff!

    Like

    Reply

    • I used Canva. Have you ever used that program? Super easy to do and they have all kinds of templates that you just plug in the words and save. It is fun for someone like me who knows almost nothing about graphic design.
      Thanks, you’ve always been super supportive of my bitter and ironic humor. Can’t wait to see what you come up with!

      Like

      Reply

  3. Ha! You forgot to include something brilliant and mesmerizing, so I remain unhypnotized. 😀 As usual, you said a bunch of stuff that is the exact opposite of what I was thinking. Your bitterness will never overtake me. *Pours sugar on Ben’s bitterness.*

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. Pingback: #Bitter #Fancy #Polish | Moroccan Sahara 2016

    • Mr. Brain is definitely bitter, mostly because he is so stinking smart, but he can’t seem to take over the world. Also probably pretty bitter because he is a mouse and small and in a lab. Pinky…well he is just blissfully unaware, so it would be pretty easy for him.

      Like

      Reply

Your Bitter Comments

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.