Updated: New question at the end of the post.
Hey Netflix,
I heard your CEO or creator or whatever, started Netflix because he had a huge late fee from Blockbuster and didn’t want to have to pay twice the amount of late fee’s than what the movie would have cost. I don’t either, but I’m not dumb enough keep a stupid movie for more than a day. Why didn’t he just start a bitter blog and make nothing like I do?
Well, thanks to that stupid late fee and whatever prompted the Red Box owner to do things, we are now stuck in a world where Blockbuster no longer exists (mostly). I’m kind of bitter about that, because I liked Blockbuster. Not necessarily late fees, but I liked actually going to video stores and picking out something to watch. So thanks a lot for that, Netflix.
We miss you…
Another thing that sucks about that is that now we have to either download a movie which takes forever and eats up all our hard drive, or we wait forever for it to come out on Netflix or Red Box and by that time, I forget I even wanted to watch that movie. So movies coming out on video kind of sucks now.
You know another thing about you Netflix? I used to be able to say that I just wanted to watch Netflix and chill at the end of the day. Now if I say that, I sound like some sort of creepy weirdo. No one ever Blockbusted and chilled.
The bitterest part though, is that Netflix used to have a rating system of 5 stars. You could Siskel and Ebert your feelings about a terrible movie you just watched, but then you changed the system. Now there is a % recommended thing based on the movies we have watched. I don’t know if you know this but are not Match.com. Not that Match.com is any good at what they do, but Netflix just needs to stick to what they are only marginally good at. (Destroying good things like Blockbuster and getting movies out in a timely manner.)
We know every movie you have ever watched. We recommend you watch this one totally opposite of all those.
Just because you know every movie, show and comedy special I have ever seen, you don’t know me. Not at all. You’ve given me some pretty high recommendations (99% recommendation for Sense and Sensibility? Because I watch the Office constantly?) and they sucked. My wife is getting action flicks that she is 99% recommended after she watches Sense and Sensibility. What universe are you from where those two 99% intertwine?
The Netflix analytics and algorithms must be done by a guy that got D-‘s from the B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness, because all the good algorithm girls and guys were stolen by Google, Facebook and ITT Tech.
I’ve watched some of the greatest movies of all time, like Transformers, Transformers Revenge of the Fallen, Transformers Dark of the Moon, Transformers The Movie, and Die Hard, and for some reason they keep giving me Caillou and Garfield A Tale of Two Kitties.
Perhaps Netflix does give everyone else great recommendations and it’s only in our house that they suck it up for a reason. Maybe the owner once met me at a Bitter Conference, or got tired of me calling the customer service line and demanding a refund on one of my digital movie every time I couldn’t stand it, but I think Netflix needs to chill. Or heat up, or …err dang it. Anyways,
BONUS QUESTION: What did your local Blockbuster turn into? Our turned into a Karate dojo in one area and an Emergency Care facility in another. Bonus point if you take a picture and send it.
ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter Bring Back Blockbuster Ben