Hey Netflix

Updated: New question at the end of the post. 

 

Hey Netflix,

I heard your CEO or creator or whatever, started Netflix because he had a huge late fee from Blockbuster and didn’t want to have to pay twice the amount of late fee’s than what the movie would have cost. I don’t either, but I’m not dumb enough keep a stupid movie for more than a day. Why didn’t he just start a bitter blog and make nothing like I do?

Well, thanks to that stupid late fee and whatever prompted the Red Box owner to do things, we are now stuck in a world where Blockbuster no longer exists (mostly). I’m kind of bitter about that, because I liked Blockbuster. Not necessarily late fees, but I liked actually going to video stores and picking out something to watch. So thanks a lot for that, Netflix.

We miss you…

Another thing that sucks about that is that now we have to either download a movie which takes forever and eats up all our hard drive, or we wait forever for it to come out on Netflix or Red Box and by that time, I forget I even wanted to watch that movie. So movies coming out on video kind of sucks now.

You know another thing about you Netflix? I used to be able to say that I just wanted to watch Netflix and chill at the end of the day. Now if I say that, I sound like some sort of creepy weirdo. No one ever Blockbusted and chilled.

The bitterest part though, is that Netflix used to have a rating system of 5 stars. You could Siskel and Ebert your feelings about a terrible movie you just watched, but then you changed the system. Now there is a % recommended thing based on the movies we have watched. I don’t know if you know this but are not Match.com.  Not that Match.com is any good at what they do, but Netflix just needs to stick to what they are only marginally good at. (Destroying good things like Blockbuster and getting movies out in a timely manner.)

We know every movie you have ever watched.  We recommend you watch this one totally opposite of all those.  

Just because you know every movie, show and comedy special I have ever seen, you don’t know me. Not at all. You’ve given me some pretty high recommendations (99% recommendation for Sense and Sensibility? Because I watch the Office constantly?) and they sucked.  My wife is getting action flicks that she is 99% recommended after she watches Sense and Sensibility. What universe are you from where those two 99% intertwine?

The Netflix analytics and algorithms must be done by a guy that got D-‘s from the B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness,  because all the good algorithm girls and guys were stolen by Google, Facebook and ITT Tech.

I’ve watched some of the greatest movies of all time, like Transformers, Transformers Revenge of the Fallen, Transformers Dark of the Moon, Transformers The Movie, and Die Hard, and for some reason they keep giving me Caillou and Garfield A Tale of Two Kitties.

Perhaps Netflix does give everyone else great recommendations and it’s only in our house that they suck it up for a reason. Maybe the owner once met me at a Bitter Conference, or got tired of me calling the customer service line and demanding a refund on one of my digital movie every time I couldn’t stand it, but I think Netflix needs to chill.  Or heat up, or …err dang it. Anyways,

BONUS QUESTION: What did your local Blockbuster turn into? Our turned into a Karate dojo in one area and an Emergency Care facility in another. Bonus point if you take a picture and send it. 

 

ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Bring Back Blockbuster Ben

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69 thoughts on “Hey Netflix

  1. I am 56 so alot of the old series they run are ‘up my alley’. They don’t have a good selection of movies for younger folks but I really enjoy being able to watch older series. My husband rents or buys from VUDU to get the best selection of movies shortly after they come out.
    BTW I need to give this link to my husband. He would love to have a place for his bitter comments.

    Like

    • We will welcome your husband’s bitter remarks. The bitterer the better.
      Yeah, Netflix has all kinds of content for older folks. But I just liked going to Blockbuster to sit and peruse the store for 30 minutes and not find anything as opposed to staying at home and not being able to find anything.

      Like

  2. Hey, thanks for stopping by my blog. I’m glad you did because now I’ve “discovered” you. Not in a waitress getting discovered by a big producer in some podunk dive. Oh no, I’ve landed in Bitterland, and I like it. Hmmm…do you realize that the world bitte in German means “your welcome?” Somehow, that seems to fit here. Yeah…I’m pissed off, I’m bitter and you’re welcome! I kinda like it. Anyhow, I’m really happy you found me because, based on this one post, you’re my kinda blogger!

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  3. Pingback: Mid-Week Movies | Mohawk Valley Girl

  4. How bitter am I about Blockbuster? They never even built a store near my town, so I don’t miss them at all. We do not have a theater either, now that I am thinking bitterly. Thank goodness we have cable…

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    • Clearly they missed out on a huge opportunity to become a bank or a mattress warehouse or even better and abandonded building in your time. Seriously, Blockbuster, where is your foresight?

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    • Now that is something super useful. Cause we need more mattress warehouses. Aren’t most beds being sold online too. I guess maybe Blockbuster will have to buy those from the mattress warehouses when they go out of business.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I do miss going to the video store, but I don’t miss going to Blockbuster. The last time my wife and I rented something from there, I said, and I quote, “It’s almost like the want to go out of business.” There are a couple local video stores. While I like the organic discoverability they offer, they are just far enough away to feel like a pain to rent from. We have to digitally rent and stream everything here. Heck, RedBox left Canada like two years ago. Screw missing Blockbuster, I miss RedBox!

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  6. Our Blockbuster turned into a gym, and another a really kewl hibachi joint. I personally canthink stand how Netflix limits the scope of movie and TV variety. I’ve seen all this shit, I know you have more than this, but how to just browse through your app???

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    • That sounds like the opposite of what a Blockbuster should be. Gyms are the worst. And watching movies is the best.
      Yeah, Netflix is so limiting on movies. It’s a wonder any decent movies are able to be seen after the theater.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. We, uh, kind of swiped a copy of Better Off Dead from them when we kept forgetting to send the movie back, and then the credit card expired and we forgot to ever change it, and they gave up on our account instead of having anything to do with us. And now they don’t even want it back. So I’m thinking to start my own Netflix-like service, but you can only borrow Better Off Dead and this copy of The King Of Kong, that documentary about competitive Donkey Kong players, that I got from the dollar bin when Blockbuster was having its going-out-of-business sale.

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  8. I also enjoyed wandering around the video store. I saw so many good B movies when I was a teen because they were on the shelf at the local hardware store that also rented movies(we were too small for blockbuster) I get all of my movies on DVD from the library. There can be long wait lists, but if you stalk the orders properly you can get them pretty fast. We generally only watch TV shows on Netflix.

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  9. So…to counter this problem, I “borrow” Netflix from a college friend, and pay for YouTube Red and rent the movies I actually want to watch. I rarely watch a movie on Netflix because, you’re correct, all their movies are lame.

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      • Oh I definitely miss Hollywood Video (more than Blockbuster), but they packed up shop before Blockbuster did. I remember just a year ago seeing that there was a video store in my sister’s little town and taking a picture, because they are so hard to find. Sadly, it was gone when we went back a year later.

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        • We do have a Roku and they do have a lot of ways to get them, but they are all services you have to pay for. For instance, we do have an ESPN app that we can watch from, but only because my dad set it up from his cable subscription. So you do have to have someone with cable getting all these live stations, etc. Kind of a bummer, but if you know someone….it’s like in the old days when you got someone to give you free cable. Just easier now, like with your Netflix friend. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

    • We used to not need Netflix because we had cable. But when we moved, we didn’t have cable available, so we moved to Netflix. And we already had Amazon, because we got Prime for the 2 day shipping. As nice as it is to not have to pay for cable, I do miss knowing at all what is going on in the world. And sports. And Netflix is good, but there are still some things I miss since they took over. I wish they would get movies that came out in the theater and sooner.

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  10. I have been watching a lot of Netflix recently and am still able to do the star thing. For the most part, the recommendations are getting better the more I watch, but some are definitely out there. I agree, they never have the movies I really want to watch.

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    • Yeah, you just don’t see the new movies coming out anymore on Netflix. Maybe because they reserve that for their actual disc service, which I think still exists, but they are really concentrating on their exclusive streaming stuff.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. My recommendations suck. What really annoys me is that when you watched two minutes of a show, realize you hate it and back out of it, they then give you shows that are just like it. Did you notice I watched literally six minutes when there are 16 hours worth of episodes?! Stupid algorithm!

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  12. Not to mention all those geeky little guys running around the store all lost their jobs. Those guys that you could ask about movies because they could even tell you who the key grip was in a movie. Heck, I don’t even know what a key grip is but it was sure nice that that I could ask them.

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  13. Sorry Ben, but Blockbuster had to go. Limited inventory (really? I had to be put on a wait list for some movies), fees for not rewinding a VHS tape? (my local Blockbuster never quite made it to the DVD age) no original programming like House of Cards. Biggest problem with Netflix now, other than their analytics department and the cost is the competition from Amazon Prime and Hulu.

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  14. I, too, am quite bitter about the demise of video stores. I loved wandering around trying to pick a movie. I have no idea how to stream a movie so I live in ignorance, watching TCM and DVDs I already own. I’m pretty sure their recommendations are movies that are not in demand and they are just trying to move product. Thanks for reminding me how much my movie-watching life sucks!

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    • Yeah, movie watching these days is just so inconvenient. I swear, I just want to get a movie a few months after it hits the theatre and it’s like you just can’t figure out where to get it, if at all. I know it must drive movie makers crazy.

      Liked by 1 person

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