Action Movie Friday Giftures


Growing up in the 80’s, action movies were the best. There was Schwarzenegger in his iconic role in Kindergarten Cop, Stallone in the amazing Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot or Bruce Willis in the captivating Hudson Hawk. Those movies were straight up straight to video classics that every fan should watch so they revel in the intense adrenaline rush. There was the intense struggle between the hero and the villain, the explosions, the face to face confrontations, the bitter feuds, bitter rage, bitter rivalries, the bitter car chases, the bitter food tastings, the bitter final battle between good, evil and some straight up explosions. To honor the action movies of years past, let’s give them some Bitter Friday action type giftures.

The best way to start an action movie… to get right into it, with some explosions.

…is to get right into it, with some explosions.

And then…


…a classic high speed car chase.

And then we see our hero rise…


…and then split the difference and fall. 

The we meet our hero’s…


…trusty sidekick and mighty steed.

His beautiful and supportive…


…love interest, who he will sacrifice everything for.

Then we go to the deep, dark hideout…


…of the nefarious villain. 

Then there is the fully necessary training montage…


…where he learns how to flip.

…how to…

...hang in there...

…swing for the fences…

…how to…


…hang in there when the going gets tough.

Then he will finally start…

He will finally start to round into

…to get his footing. 

And finally start to…


…flip the script on the bad guy. 

Now he’s ready for his one on one…


…confrontation with the bad guy…

Where he will finally triumph…


…and send the bad guy to his doom. 

No action movie is complete without some really crappy dialogue. So here it is. May your weekend be so dull that the only action you have is flipping the channels and the only drama you have is deciding which one to watch. And the only confrontation you have is with the pizza delivery person.


Bitter Action  Movie Ben

76 thoughts on “Action Movie Friday Giftures

  1. I suddenly understand you a whole lot better, Ben, and where your bitterness originates from and all..

    Having said that: poor skater dude :’) And poor poor pony girl :’) :’)


  2. #1. why would we be confrontational (or even con-back-tayshunull) with the peeza dood or doodette?
    2. my wife had two horses, both of which would do that. and so we would dismount before crossing streemz
    3. i lafft out loud at the crocodile AND the little pillow kid blowing up. i am also amazed that the twirling dawg didn’t get real twisty, you know, like a twisted rope thingy.


    • Yeah, I was really good at striking out. On my first date, I took a girl to see the Hunt for the Red October, which was a great way to see a girl fall asleep on the date. I’m still not sure if it was the movie dialogue or my bitter dialogue that caused her deep sleep.

      Liked by 1 person

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