There are a lot of things that annoy me as you may have already been able to deduce from one or possibly two of my other posts. If you have been able to catch that, congrats on your grasp of the obvious. You and my doctor would get along great. As you might also not be aware at all, I have a very busy job that involves doing things like typing, pushing the word print on a screen and getting up and walking all the way to the printer to pick that piece of paper up. Then I have to type other things, which makes my fingers very tired. My brain also gets tired because of it’s limited capacity to tell my other body parts to move and getting ignored. I do it because it is my job. It’s very exhausting.
When I get home from my job it is like a surprise party every day. One day, I could get home and the house will be silent because people are tired and are laying quietly watching TV. Another day, there could be six kids running around destroying furniture, planting feet mines all over the house(legos or other sharp object/toys meant to kill you by foot surprise) and causing noise levels that would make an airplane embarrassed. Many people would call ahead to find out what mayhem they were in for, but I am usually to tired to do so, and it would ruin the surprise. Who says I don’t like surprises?
So how does an introvert like me get the down time he requires? A little thing called a commute. Or as I like to call it, Sanctuary. The 45 minutes from work to home is the place where no one tells me what to do. It is the place where I listen to the music as loud as I want. It is where the texting with buddies takes place. It is where the short naps at the long lights happens. If I had OnStar I would be requesting that it bring me a large pepperoni pizza at the corner of My Time Avenue and Leave me Alone Street. It’s also where I ignore all the honking and the inappropriate fingers being tossed my way and angry words that I can’t quite hear from other drivers, because my music is too loud and we both forgot to roll down our windows. Whoops.
Lately though, there has been a little snag in the sanctuary. It rains a lot here because apparently we need a little more watering than the people in Arizona. When it rains, I call upon my well paid employee, the windshield wipers. “Move the rain out of my way please.” See how I ask it nicely? Front passenger side wiper is starting to ignore me. He’s only been with the Dodge Caliber division of the Ben Bitter corporation for 5 years and already he is getting lazy. Sometimes he only works intermittently. Part of his rubber stripping is falling off and he doesn’t even care anymore. We have a dress code to uphold here. He is really making me bitter.
The work ethic of wiper blades just isn’t what it used to be. I paid like $15.00 for him once. Do they think that jobs just grow on trees? In this bad carconomy? I’ve been thinking about it more lately and I think it is just about time to let Driver Side Front Windshield Wiper go. I just think that there are more efficient wipers out there. I might even pay more for a new guy(or girl). And give them benefits. When I can find time.
Bitter “Ben-efits” Ben
- Hints from Heloise: Change windshield wipers blades regularly (goerie.com)
- 100th blog post bitterness (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- Bitter GIF of the Week (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- Seven Spring Break Spots to See Before You Die (or Graduate) (popdust.com)