March is almost over…
Today is Monday March 30, 2015, which is significant for several reasons. That means that today and tomorrow are still March. When they(whoever “they” is) say March is mad, they really mean it. For the last 13 years, this has been our fiscal year end which means that everyone is wheeling and dealing and that means we are busy. Large orders come in, there’s lots of chaos and late hours and stupid things are done. Mistakes are made and bitterness, anger and regret take place. Eventually it all ends and April happens and life calms down. No more ridiculous demands, spring sets in, my birthday comes and we can all just settle down and be bitter for other reasons. But for now and the next few days, I buckle in and just wait for something bad to happen, because when would anything good happen to someone so bitter?
Speaking of bitter, as you might have noticed around here, I decided to throw my political hat into the arena of Bloggie Awards, campaigning embarrassingly way too much to get second place in the Blog of the Yeah Right Category. Like almost no one else in the world, I tuned into Twitter and Facebook to “watch” the extremely slow and glacial pace in which the results of the winners were announced. There were something like 30 categories and every five minutes, one of them was announced. I started looking at Twitter at 5:00 pm PST and didn’t know that I was the second place winner until like 7:45 pm. There was nothing more bitter than having to wait 2 hours and 45 minutes to finally know that I got second place. As this is the place that I was aiming for, I should have been okay with it. But knowing I got second wasn’t enough. I wanted to know how close to first I got. Was it 10 votes, 20 or even 1? I had to know.
At least I got defeated by a celebrity…dachshund. Yes, I was defeated by a Dog with a Blog.
Now, I want action. I don’t just want to know that I got second place. I want to know by how much. I want to know the histories of each voter. Were they real people? Or were robots with emails voting? I want a breakdown of the each state, and why people voted me as their first loser. I want to know their dog preference, their Facebook profiles, the elementary schools they attended, their favorite fountain drinks, the way they tie their shoes and even their favorite ice cream flavors. You might think that none of these things matter, and you would be absolutely right. But I’m not conceding second. Was there a hanging chad, or a glitching nathan in the voting process? Why are the Bloggies so secretive about the votes? Obviously it is way more important than the Oscars, and even they have some accounting firm watch their results like they matter or something.
So this is my concession speech. I do not concede. I want more data Bloggies. I want to know who the mysterious people that call themselves the Bloggies. I will not rest until someone else finds these things out, because I sure don’t have the energy to find out the facts. I have to work.
So, who’s with me? Who wants to set ablaze a trail to figuring out this whole scandal? Someone….? Anyone….? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter March Schizo Ben