Because I am a bitter man and a stubborn person, I would much more prefer to get lost on my way somewhere than to ever ask someone for instructions. I have wandered the streets of downtown Seattle aimlessly for hours, got lost in the mountains overnight and even got lost on my way from the TV room to the kitchen. Maybe there is no excuse for me to get lost in the mountains overnight, but the others ones…totally acceptable. There is never a reason to ask someone else for directions. How many times did someone force me to ask for directions and I got more lost than I originally was? I’d rather trust my really bad gut instinct than trust even the most trustworthy, mapmaker or professional gas station direction giver, because I know that if I got lost, then I got lost on my own terms. Point being, I’ve completely lost all of you, so let’s just get to the lost post of this week.
I actually completed this post, but it was for a guest post long ago for someone and it never got published on this site. It’s been a long time since I wrote this one, and I’m not rereading it because I’m lazy. So it is probably a jumbled mess just like my other posts. Regardless, read below…if you dare. Cue Agent Smith laughing gif…MUHAHAHAHAHAH!
Million Dollar Room Bitterness
Let me just tell you a little about me. I am what a PC (politically correct, not personal computer) type person would call economically challenged. However, if you are like me and are okay with just calling something like it is, you can just call me not rich. As one of the 99% of this country, I enjoy some of the less fine things in life. While I do have a house, and a car, and a television, some of the most important things that I am in need of have slipped carefully through my fingers. I don’t ask for much really. Just a room that has insulation or a heat source and a toilet that flushes every time.
That is why, when I discovered a show on TLC (or one of those home remodel or improvement channels) called Million Dollar Rooms, I felt like I could relate. These people struggled just like me when building these innovative rooms. For example, one of them was talking about how they had to struggle to find a rare type of mosaic tile that was only found in a Mongolian mountain top. Though they didn’t have to climb the mountain, it was an uphill struggle to call their assistant to call their general contractor to call the store in Mongolia to have a person climb the mountain. Then there was the wait of approximately 3-4 days for them to ship that over to their home. I mean if this guy can wait for that excruciating amount of time to get the mosaic tile from Mongolia that will line his 40 foot ceiling I can, then surely I wait a couple of months to have my ceiling to be scraped of my absbestos laced popcorn. What a shining example (like the shiny abestos all over our house) to us all.
There was another go getter who had a garage problem. He only had a 50,000 square foot home, but he wanted a place to store his collection of 100+ vintage cars that were worth $100 grand or more. This guy didn’t mope around the house and wait for something to happen. He got to work using his good old fashioned brain and came up with the idea of calling someone. He thought outside the box and decided that he would have someone create a cave, much like Batman, where he could store his cars underground! What innovative thinking! He didn’t stop there though. He made sure that there was a hydrolic lift that acted like an elevator for his cars. Here I was thinking he would have to park them outside and risk exposing them to an element (a ray of sun or a drop of rain), but no. This guy simply refused to allow his cars to be treated that way. If someone was going to cover him with an umbrella when it rained, he was going to make sure his cars would be treated the same.
Finally there was a third person, struggling to survive on only $300 million per year. He had a large family of four that were dying …of boredom. They had struggled long enough eating out in 5 star restaurants and staying in the painfully low end of the luxury 5 star hotels, which affored them only the most boring of luxury pools. The man couldn’t look at the apethy in his children’s eyes anymore. So he explained how his children would not have to go to the ends of the earth to find the most luxirous pool. He would not only build the world’s largest pool, but he would build his kids an ocean. He faced scathing criticism from his fellow 1%ers about how his ocean was not even half the size of the Pacific Ocean like most of theirs were, but he proceeded against all odds to build an ocean that not only his kids and wife would be proud of, but his father too. It was the internal need to please his father that gave him the strength to include in his ocean not only animals of all kind, but to make sure that it was salt free, so when his kids surfed they would have to taste the nasty salty taste. His kids would suffer not suffer in mere pools anymore. They would have their own ocean.
I want to say that I am pretty bitter about myself because I have not suffered like these people for their homes and their dreams. Perhaps one day, when I want my home to be better badly enough, I will fight like these people did for their dream homes. In the meantime, I will just deal with my drafty windows letting in the cold air.