Some people might not call me unlucky, but they would be wrong. It is all about perspective. Some may say that I am lucky that I have a job. I say I’m unlucky that I have to work here. Some may call me lucky because I have enough money for food, and sometimes water. I say I’m unlucky because I haven’t won the lottery. Some may say that glass is half full. I say it looks empty to me. Some may say that I avoided death in that accident. I say I’m unlucky because my mirror got annillated. It’s all about my bitter perspective and your non bitter one. So tell me, how lucky or unlucky do you think the following are?
Lucky or Unlucky? Looks lucky to you huh? Sure the “Real Mario Brothers” dodged a few bullets (or fireballs) but did you know right after this was taken they were tragically, painfully and hungrily eaten by Bowser. My verdict: Bowser Lunch.
Lucky or Unlucky? Two dealership balloons meet. Lock eyes from across the parking lot. They move toward each other. Neither one has ever seen anything like each other. They embrace as if they have been together forever. They fall into each other arms. Happily ever after? Nope. What really happened was these two bitter rivals and enemies were wrestling and both got shot with a stray bullet from the gun club next door. Their funerals were at the Air Ballon festival but no one paid any attention to them because there were air ballons at the Air Ballon Festival. My verdict: Bitter Feud
Lucky or Unlucky? A truck full of medical supplies that are needed to save the village. Looks like the skill of the driver in snow saved them from almost sure annihilation. What really happened? My Xbox One that was supposed to arrive today was in there. Now it is going to be a day late. Verdict: Bitter Video Game Tragedy
Lucky or unlucky? In an epic struggle to find a way to overcome his bitter rival Pete finds an abandoned, yet lucky cat that gives him a winning edge. He goes on a can’t lose streak all the way to the finals. Faces bitter rival and finds that he can do it without the cat and triumphs while cat is at home eating food. What I think happened? Guy was on a winning streak that can’t be stopped, steps under a ladder, meets black cat, gives him a fist bump and goes on a losing streak that eventually gets him beaten by thugs and left for dead. Cat sees him down and out, coughs up a firball and uses him as a scratching post. My verdict: Catastrophe
Lucky or unlucky? When a father is trapped by a beast living in a castle, girl convinces Beast to exchange father for herself. To make beast feel better about her, grows a beard. They live happily ever after as beast and girl with a beard. What I think happened? Girl lives in castle with beast. There is no make up, razors or beauty products available. It’s a freaking castle. Why would they have stuff like that there? She uses a comb that the beast uses to comb his mane, but it is an enchanted comb that causes hair to grow on whatever it is used on. Belle, have you been in my bathroom? No, I’m just growing it for Movember. Belle, It’s April. My verdict: Not a Hairpy Ending
As we approach the holidays, I wish you bitter unluck as you attempt to put up lights, try not to get trampled on your Black Friday Shopping experiences and freeze your bitter right off as you spend time outdoors.
Arrrgggghhhhh
Bitter Unlucky Ben
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Funny stuff. And your GIF’s are amazing.
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I spend so much time filming the GIF’s. I just hope the people I steal them from don’t get bitter.
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Pingback: In case you missed it…This will help you forget | Ben's Bitter Blog
Oh my gosh, the bearded Belle made me crack up. I like that we have both recently written posts about the effects of perspective on determining whether you have good or bad luck… It looks like we are arch enemies when it comes to luck, dun dun duuuun. Also that sliding truck picture is pretty much a preview of what will inevitably be the next few months of my life.
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You have good luck? And you have a good attitude about it? Then yeah we are rivals when it comes to that. I’m a glass completely empty guy, even when it is full.
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Haha well, actually I have terrible luck but I amuse myself in pretending that there’s a good side to it all.
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There’s not. Just because it appears like something good is coming out of it doesn’t mean it is. For instance, you think something like your house burning down is bad. You would be right. You think that it is good because you get all these great stories to tell for your blog and people love them. But really, it just brings more weirdos in your life like me. Which you write about and it becomes what I call the Bitter Cycle.
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But I love weirdos in my life! GLASS HALF FULL! ITS FULL!!!!
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Settle down, weirdo.
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*slumps away*
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Oh and quit slumping. It’s bad for your posture.
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All I know is that my rabbit is really glad you don’t believe in good luck. He doesn’t have to worry about losing a paw if you visit.
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For some reason people keep telling me to break my leg. Why would I want to do that?
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I suppose it might take you to a bitter nirvana, dealing with all those doctors and insurance forms.
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Now that you remind me of that, maybe that I why I keep getting my son to injure me.
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I would definitely be bitter if I used a comb that gave me more hair everywhere except my head. That is a cruel and bitter punishment for women!
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It’s pretty cruel for men too. I have hair everywhere except where I need it. On top of my head.
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lol 🙂
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Ugh, horrible. And to make things worse, I nominate you for Blog of the Year. Sorry about that – Here’s your award http://cupitonians.wordpress.com/2013/11/23/breaking-news/
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Why anyone would ever want to nominate me for Blog of the year or even blog of the day, I’ll never know. I guess people don’t know how bitter I am.
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I know. I really tried to curb the bitterness but it got away from me! My bad!
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You can’t curb my bitterness. And I hope you don’t curb yours. That is the whole point of me blogging to other people. To make them bitter.
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dealership balloons are so cute. a love story turns tragic.
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you like them? I think creepy.
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i’ve never seen them in real life, but your picture was cute
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Depends on how you look at them.
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with an open mind
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Then you might see them like I did. With a bullet through both.
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lol. okay.
i’m still thinking about your last kosher question .would it be kosher to invite a pig over as a guest to dine with you?
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If they were okay with having ham and bacon.
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i would never serve them themselves; it would be spinach quiche or eggplant parmesan or lasagne or linguini or potato latkes
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They would probably really like bacon.
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are you certain?i think they might rather have marshmellows & s more marshmellows
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they would like marshmellows too, but definitely like bacon.
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they’re cannibals? they like ice cream they scream for ice cream
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Totally cannibals.
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did they tell you they were cannibals
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Right before they sacrificed themselves for my breakfast.
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you cannot eat things that speak english language..you know what dharma told me.. black sheep are thought to be worth less , b/c they are harder to dye
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because they don’t die.
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they don’t die or dye, so black sheep of the family are good things. i am bitter they get a bad wrap
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lambasted.
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do you mean criticize or you are basting a lamb for thanksgiving?
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just punning with the lamb.
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you are punning with the lamb.i like to make mint jelly for my pet lamb.
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Your lamb would make a nice pair of lamb chops.
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no i covered his ears when you wrote that. & he was knitting you mittens
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No mittens for me. Pockets work just fine.
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ah pocket protectors
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Hot pockets.
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lol.i’ve never had a hot pocket?porque?
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why not? just cause they have gluten? so what did you do for haunakah?
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it’s the 4th day of hanukkah…i had 3 days of latkes. ready for chinese now….8th day will be 72 it says…hard to believe but it says w,th & fri are 72-74..i’ve never seen anything like this since 1989.
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Not sure what you are saying, just hoping your are getting nice gifts for each day.
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i was just telling you about hanukkah food.
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you don’t get gifts?
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my mother & father aren’t alive to give me gifts…if i remember the last hanukkah gift was from bf who brought me a bracelet from china/ olympics – 2007?
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No one else can give you gifts? Your brother or sister? Do you at least have menorah up?
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my brother is giving
me the gift of heartburn
hanukkah gift
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My body is giving me heart burn.
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you’re lucky it isn’t your brother…i’m joking it’s just as bad either way…as for the menorah..they are not here..i was trying to say they are all in other states far away…everything of mine is..
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i’m sure they sell them at the myrtle beach walmart.
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that’s very funny…i think you’re joking.. i want to go just to ask someone..hey joe- what – spell that- mary do we- sam she wants what is it….
they don’t even sell bananas , coffee ice cream, yoplait light yogurt……………………..
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They are probably in the candle section.
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hahaha .they ain’t what kind of grocery says yes we have no bananas?
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Walmart, I guess. That doesn’t surprise me, because they are so toxic.
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the bananas? yes you have to wash them off…i know you mean walmart…
the moving company won’t answer me..i need navy seal nexium
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you need some extra strength moving company.
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yes sir i really really do…
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did you spill hawaiian punch on your computer too
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Nope I don’t let liquid anywhere near this thing.
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very smart: i bought a silicone thing that covers the keys, but i wasn’t using it.
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maybe you were subconciously trying to destroy windows 8 .
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i’m consciously pushing butons trying to destroy windows 8…was this you i told ,all i found was backwards to upgrade to 8 from xp, when i asked opposite……but then someone said you can , but good luck & that was to a computer genius, so what chance do i have
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You need to hire someone to teach you windows 8.
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no i hate 8. i need to hire someone to blow it up
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That would cost a lot to get Microsoft to blow it up.
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then i’ll just throw it out the window
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Then a new one will just generate and fly back inside.
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then i’ll have to get an indoor batting cage?
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more like a revolving door of windows 8.
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i don’t like those either.. unless someone else comes behind, i can’t push the door & get stuck
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you hate getting stuck?
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yes i do. i wait til someone else walks up
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That could be a while. Do you pack a lunch?
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yes i do.. it sometimes is a while.
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you’ll need one for the revolving door.
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sometimes i do almost always
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As usual really Bitterly funny. The slide has to be in the Hall of Fame for stupid truckers
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When that Hall of Fame starts I will be sure to contact him.
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If only my bitter beard and mustache looked like Belle’s! Movember is almost over and only my black mustache stands out! 🙂
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I’m going to shave mine from the beginning of this week. It is really starting to itch.
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…if the glass is looking empty, somebody needs a refill. i say….
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You got that right. I’m up for some bitter Cherry Limade.
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im not sure how to take that one….wink wink…
that could mean you need to stop off at sonic (they got the bom diggity cherry limeades) ….hmmm
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Just means I don’t drink so that would be my bitter substitute.
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GOOD FOR YOU!
cheers *
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You’re so bad.
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I still say lucky on all of them. LUCKY I say! LUCKY! 😉
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Oh that’s right, because you Lucky Wreck. Well, I would be called Unlucky Wreck then.
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How did that stranger teach Rory to paw bump????????????
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I think he catnapped him. Are you jealous that Rory doesn’t paw bump you?
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A little, yes.
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Maybe you should play more ping pong, I mean Table Tennis with her.
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He’s a boy!
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I know she’s a boy because you keep reminding me she is a boy.
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Very funny my friend…very funny indeed. {Loved the slidey truck!} Reminds me of all the times I HAD TO DRIVE on black ice.
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I kind of the Belle observing Movember. Plus she made the beast feel more comfortable with all his hair.
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Right up there with your best ‘bitterness.’ Nice one!
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Which would make it my worst…right?
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As merely a miserable old bastard I haven’t quite picked up on the nuances of true bitterness thus far. Shall have to try harder as the wife often tells me.
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And there can be no bitter old man without a supportive wife behind him telling him to try harder and stop being lazy.
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Have you tried our British comedian Jack Dee? Maybe YouTube will contains examples of his bitterness?
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Not heard of him. Sounds like there is some YouTubitterness in my future.
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Loved this! The dealership balloons looked more like a rape than a feud.. maybe I am just exceptionally bitter.
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I guess rape is one way to interpret that, sicko. But you’re right. I kind of saw it too.
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Sicko.
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More of a bitter sicko.
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