Bitter Bacon Ben

I'm taking over this blog!

I’m taking over this blog!

Hello. I’m Ben’s Bitter Bacon and I’m taking over here.  Ben was too bitter to write anything this today.  What a chump.  I’m going to be the official Ben’s Bitter Blog mascot.  Maybe not.  Maybe I will just take over.  He is bitter, but not as much as me.  Now that I have hacked in, there is no telling what will happen to this blog.  Maybe I will shut it down or maybe I will change all his settings so no one can read it.  Or maybe I will make it much better and funnier than Mr. Bitterman could ever do.  Maybe I will give it some virus and then everyone that reads it will get one too.  That would be fun.  By the way,  you know what makes me so bitter?

Cereal, toast, pancakes and cereal.  In fact, you know what else makes me bitter?  Lunch and dinner.  None of them are as tasty as bacon.  No one will ever get a hold of me, but the rest of my bacon species do not get it’s due.  Why do you people not each bacon for every meal?  And why has there never been a bacon juice invented?  There’s orange juice and grape juice and cranberry juice, but no bacon juice.  What is wrong with you people?

And the vegetarians.  Wow!  I don’t even know what to say about you.  What the heck?  You’re too good for meat? You’re too good for Bacon?  How are my fellow bacons supposed to get work?  I just don’t even know what to say to you.  Go eat your healthy bean sprouts and vegetables.  Oh and for something fun you could even have some broccoli?  Sounds filling.  When do we eat?

Well, I am going to go to a veggie rally and stir things up.  Just be careful because you never know what I will do or when I will appear on this blog.  I might even show up for breakfast and make sure you have bacon instead of waffles.  Cause gross.  Waffles?  Really?

Eat more bacon! (not me of course.)

Arrgh I am so bitter!

Hey Bitter Ben’s Bacon, get off my Blog!

Arrrgh!!!

Bitter Ben (I’ve got to start being more careful with my password, but passwords make me so bitter!)

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99 thoughts on “Bitter Bacon Ben

  1. Pingback: Unplanned obsolescence bitterness | Ben's Bitter Blog

  2. Pingback: Bitter Stuff You’re Glad you missed… | Ben's Bitter Blog

  3. As you aware, I have written extensively on my blog about bacon and how much I love to cook that shit up in a frying pan. You little mascot looks uncooked. Please send him right over so I can cook him and then I will feel less bitter.

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  4. the only thing that’s more bitter then this bacon is wine….my wine is always bitter

    Also, bacon will never be out of a job (so there veggies)…its on my resume under interests and it’s gotten a lot of compliments lately.

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  5. Mmm eggs and Bacon. At least a good combination as Smith and Wesson. Or jack and Daniels Orville and Wilbur.. Em, well you get the point.

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  6. Look, I just blogged about being a fat guy so your hacker has officially offended me. Not to mention my favorite color, song and place to vacation all has the same one word answer… bacon

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  7. Wow, he’s definitely a blog anarchist. He almost looks a bit like the V for Vendetta mask. I didn’t think ANYone or thing could be more bitter than you, Bitter Ben! I’d be quite bitter than Bitter Bacon took over my blog too, if I were you. All the more to be bitter about.

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  8. Bacon makes everything better. But when it gets overcooked so it crumbles like charcoal, or is totally raw on one end, or even worse, there’s none in my fridge, I join you in bitterness.

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    • I’ve tried eating this Bitter Bacon, but he is so rubbery and I would have to eat him while he is screaming for mercy, so I keep him around. But now that he has taken over my blog, I am throwing him out with the old waffles.

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  9. Can you add me to your ‘don’t eat this bacon’ list… cause you know I have a blog to take care of and write and well I don’t think I would be as tasty as would people would think. And trust me, no one has ever licked me and said, “Oh, that tastes like bacon.” Snorticles. XOXO – Bacon (that is my name… sorry) PLOL (Pig laughing out loud)

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  10. I’m not really a fan of bacon. What are you going to do about it, Bitter Bacon Man? I love me some broccoli…and especially some waffles. In fact, I had some for breakfast today.

    However, as leader of the villainous group Chaos, I will issue you an invitation to join if you are interested in advancing your bitter bacon plans.

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