It’s Friday again, which means I stop working at noon. But I need to get a head start, so I’ve actually stop working already. How else am I going to squeeze in an 8 hour nap or two? I’m actually pretty bitter that they made me show up at work at all. Really what I should have done is called in sick, but that would have been hard because I would have had to call and pretend to be sick. Some things are just so much work. In fact, talking about all this and writing all of this down is kind of tiring. Remind me to lay down as soon I finish this post.
You know what would really speed up the process? Just getting my 1 wish from the genie of the lamp. According to Forbes, Bill Gates asked for this 70 times and got his wish granted. I guess it is all my fault because even though I have a Mac, I keep buying the Microsoft Office for Mac. If it wasn’t for everyone else using it, maybe I could just scratch things on a piece of paper. But no, everyone wants things communicated on a Word document. At we know that lazy people can get billions of dollars. Look at how lazy Bill was. He shortened all the names for his stuff.
What was supposed to be Microsoft Sentence was shortened to Word. And he couldn’t call his email program, Sending Out an Email. He had to shorten it to Outlook. And his spreadsheet program should have been called Excellent Way to be Bored, but he just shortened it to Excel. My favorite program of his is actually Microsoft Office Tools. There are a bunch of Office Tools around here that I like to write about when they call in sick and bother to talk to me and ask me to do something. Especially when I’ve already quit working for the day. Tools.
There is something all my
tool workers co-workers can do to make up for talking to me and assigning me work that I’m not going to avoid until Monday. They can make themselves useful and get me some donuts. I’m not picky about which ones. As long as they are chocolate and have creme in the middle, but not the bavarian creme kind, and there should be sprinkles on them. And they have to be at exactly 90 degrees so they will melt in my mouth. Oh and make sure they are those nasty day old ones. And any donut place is fine too, as long as it is Krispy Kreme. Oh and bring some milk. I’m hard at work getting ready for my nap. That is using my Tools wisely.
Bitter Friday to everyone. I hope you have at least one bitter tale to tell about how bitter your weekened is on Monday, because I have some work to avoid and I expect some bitter tales.
Bitter Friday Ben