Friday Pictures Bitterness

That implies that I should wake up at all.

Someone drew a picture of me at work. 

It’s Friday again, which means I stop working at noon.  But I need to get a head start, so I’ve actually stop working already.  How else am I going to squeeze in an 8 hour nap or two?  I’m actually pretty bitter that they made me show up at work at all.  Really what I should have done is called in sick, but that would have been hard because I would have had to call and pretend to be sick.  Some things are just so much work.  In fact, talking about all this and writing all of this down is kind of tiring.  Remind me to lay down as soon I finish this post.

I don't ask for much. Just one thing.

I don’t ask for much. Just one thing. Okay maybe two, but under only 1 bullet point.

You know what would really speed up the process?  Just getting my 1 wish from the genie of the lamp.  According to Forbes, Bill Gates asked for this 70 times and got his wish granted.  I guess it is all my fault because even though I have a Mac, I keep buying the Microsoft Office for Mac.  If it wasn’t for everyone else using it, maybe I could just scratch things on a piece of paper.  But no, everyone wants things communicated on a Word document.  At we know that lazy people can get billions of dollars.  Look at how lazy Bill was.  He shortened all the names for his stuff.
What was supposed to be Microsoft Sentence was shortened to Word.  And he couldn’t call his email program, Sending Out an Email.  He had to shorten it to Outlook.  And his spreadsheet program should have been called Excellent Way to be Bored, but he just shortened it to Excel.  My favorite program of his is actually Microsoft Office Tools.  There are a bunch of Office Tools around here that I like to write about when they call in sick and bother to talk to me and ask me to do something.  Especially when I’ve already quit working for the day.  Tools.

Who's ready for a donut run?  As I mentioned earlier this week, I don't run, but I will accept a donut or 10.

Who’s ready for a donut run? As I mentioned earlier this week, I don’t run, but I will accept a donut or 10.

There is something all my tool workers co-workers can do to make up for talking to me and assigning me work that I’m not going to avoid until Monday.  They can make themselves useful and get me some donuts.  I’m not picky about which ones.  As long as they are chocolate and have creme in the middle, but not the bavarian creme kind, and there should be sprinkles on them. And they have to be at exactly 90 degrees so they will melt in my mouth.  Oh and make sure they are those nasty day old ones.  And any donut place is fine too, as long as it is Krispy Kreme. Oh and bring some milk.  I’m hard at work getting ready for my nap. That is using my Tools wisely.

Bitter Friday to everyone.  I hope you have at least one bitter tale to tell about how bitter your weekened is on Monday, because I have some work to avoid and I expect some bitter tales.

Arrggghhh

Bitter Friday Ben

 

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50 thoughts on “Friday Pictures Bitterness

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  5. Ah, I love the idea of just plain stopping all work at noon on a Friday. In fact, everyday.

    Loved the force field and billion dollars. Oh the bitterness – I’d like that too, especially the force field!

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  6. Hahaha! I love only asking for one thing…maybe two, but under one bullet point 😀
    I needed a good dose of bitter and donuts (not bitter donuts though). My day just got bitter better. You’re the bitter best!

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  7. yesterday (my Friday, because I live in the future) I finished ‘work’ (I add the air quote because the little I do could hardly qualify as actual work, but they haven’t caught on yet, so yay me) at 2pm but I’m bitter because my idiot boss kept calling me with pointless questions about sales and stuff and I had to keep zipping out of my house and sitting in the car to sound convincingly as if I was on the road. pppfft

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    • I hate it when on a Friday I have to have things up on my computer to make it look like I am working. Can’t bosses get smart enough to know that we clearly aren’t working on a Friday and just let us do whatever we want after lunch? It would just be so much easier.

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  8. I am NOT kidding….chocolate-covered, creme-filled (Not the bavarian mess, but the stuff that’s made from lard and sugar) donuts from Krispy Kreme are my favorite food!!! During exams one semester back in the day I ate 12 of them one night…with in a diet coke.

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  9. I technically don’t even start work until Monday but post-grad life has already kind of lessened my will to live at this point. Like, wait, this is it? This is as good as it gets now?!

    I can’t deal.

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  10. I am craving a donut now thanks to YOU! I was fine before with that bowl of cereal but now? I’m going to have to turn off the tv and drive across town to get a donut. Bitter? Very. It was a comfy couch…

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  11. What used to make me really bitter about work was when i was hired just to fill out some gov’t budget but they didn’t actually have any work to do, so i had to line up paperclips and parade them across my desk all day to look like i was busy. They should have just let me curl up in a corner and recover from reading all night… and then wake me up on Friday to hand me my paycheck.

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