I think by now most people know how bitter neighborhood kids make me. They smell, they steal food ask for food all the time, and play video games all day long (that is my job, not theirs). The worst part is that they have parents that ignore them much better than I do with mine. Which means these kids end up at my house much more than they do at theirs. Thank goodness they don’t like me as much as I don’t like them. It helps them scurry along like rats whenever my car pulls up in the driveway. I guess I like that part.
The sequel to Neighborhood Kids is the show Neighborhood dogs. This show may or may not appear in your neighborhood, so check your local listings for the availability and show times in your area.
Plot: The plot of this show is pretty simplistic. The Neighborhood Dogs bark loudly at any sound, play ruff, uh rough, scare and intimidate kids and bite things…like bark. In the end, it should be rated for kids aged 13 or above for violence and for scenes of scariness.
Sound: I have to admit, while sometimes the sound wasn’t always in sync, the sound and volume was right up there with and Dolby or THX sound I have ever heard. Amazing and annoying all at the same time.
The picture: Normally you can see the pure intimidation and rage on the faces of the dogs in the picture, but because of the interference of a high, white fence, the canine overbite and the menacing eyes could be seen, only heard. The made the terror even more real…for my kids of course.
The acting: The dogs immersed themselves in the role. So much so that they were practicing their bark all the time. In the middle of the night, at cars driving by, even at nothing in particular. While great for the show, the rumor is that they annoyed their co-workers and even the directors. And to be honest, as an audience, I found myself not cheering for them at all really.
While, Neighborhood Dogs seems like it would just be a great kids show, it is in fact is a nightmare, a horror flick that will keeps you up nights, just like Neighborhood Kids haunts your days.
The rating: 1 barking rhubarb out 17.
Barrrrrkkkkkkk
Bitter Barking too loud Ben
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I am always bitter..when I enter someone’s garden and their sweet pet..man’s friend..barks so loud..I want to disappear totally 🙂
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I am not Dog’s best friend.
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am I glad 🙂
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They are too.
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Pingback: In case you missed the Bitterness…. | Ben's Bitter Blog
My dogs are into their acting, too. Oh wait, those might be my dogs! But on a bitter second thought, I don’t let my dogs bark at all hours, only certain hours.
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Maybe they should do their own podcast. Of dogcast.
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Oh, now you’ve given me an idea. I’ve always wanted to record JJ’s funny little squeaks. Thanks!
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Of him barking up the wrong tree?
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LOL! Yes! He does that all the time,thinking a squirrel will come down.
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Squirrels like messing with dogs.
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Some brave kid would ask to pet the dog. He’d either be crazy or really cool.
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Maybe if the dog eat one of the neighborhood kids it would solve two problems.
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Ugh. Dogs who bark incessantly make me outrageously bitter. And angry. And frustrated. And any other negative emotional adjective you’d care to insert.
Lately, a little rabbit has been finding its way into our fully fenced backyard. This, of course, drives our dogs nuts and they bark and bark and bark and bark until I go chase the stupid rabbit away. The dumb thing is lucky that the dogs can’t get to it or it would be dinner.
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Some rabbit stew sounds good. So it’s really the bunny I need to be bitter about. Sounds like another post.
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My dog is the neighborhood dog…Barking at 6 a.m., mauling toddlers, ruining the grass–just a typical day in our backyard.
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It’s your dog that has been victimizing my ears for all these years!
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She has… I’m sorry. At least I got her to stop singing in the shower.
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If you could only get her to stop partying at the bars all night that would be great.
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I’m with you Ben, annoying as hell! Almost as annoying as Flo from the insurance commercials.
Have to admit that I love cats though. They’re just so… bitter.
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The only cat I can stand is grumpy cat. I can see why you don’t like dogs if like cats so much.
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Well, we aren’t good for much…
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I always appreciate how the dogs like to bark during my family parties or when I take a nap on my hammock. Almost as fun as when the neighbors run their chainsaws, weed wackers, lawnmowers, and other noisy loud yard equipment during my family parties…..ALWAYS DURING MY FAMILY PARTIES. Makes me bitter but not as bitter as you….
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Sounds like you need to have less parties so that you don’t attract them. I have found that have less friends has helped me avoid that hassle of people and dogs.
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I have a noisy cat. She’s a howler. She thinks I like it because I always pick her up when she does it. I pick her up because she stops howling. Then she does the kneading thing…with claws. I wanted a lap cat. I got a howling, scratchy, pokey, pointy at every angle cat. Good thing I love her.
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I can stand cats even less so…I would have done a post about them, but I already did one about a year ago. It was my shortest one ever.
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i must smell like an hors d’oevre to dogs cause they all set up a barking line when i walk past.
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I think I just smell.
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You need a dog barking thingy. It emits a high pitched sound and supposedly stops the barking. Mine didn’t work. So bitter with you on this one!
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Maybe that is the key. Sounds like an awesome idea. In this case the bark and the bite are annoying.
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If you pay your dues on a GOOD bark-stopping device…
the bark stops hear.
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I think the best way to do it is to get the neighbors to be so annoyed by you that they move.
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BEN the final draft is being uploaded as I type. Hooray!!!
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Hooray!! I can’t believe we did it!
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I know right. Two of the laziest bitterest fools on the internet.. 😉
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I need to take a week off just to recover.
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My wife and I were sitting on the veranda taking in the night air and the neighbors dog started a ten minute bark-a-thon. Made us want to find dog barking sound effects and play them over a loudspeaker. We didn’t, but certainly wanted to do it.
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If there is a Bark-a-thon I better get paid for listening to it.
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😀
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Looks like a nice sturdy fence. Too bad it can’t block sound…
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I’m going to invent a soundproof one. Can you DIY it?
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If you can invent it, I can build it.
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You sound like the Field of Dreams of DIY? Can you build me a time machine?
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This is a very good reason to be bitter! Especially theTHX quality sound – got a good laugh out of THAT!
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Barking dogs sure have a way of getting under a bitter person’s skin.
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A cat woke me up the other day. A cat! I went out and tried to be nice to it and it just glared at me. So annoyed.
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Cats are even worse than dogs.
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HEY! What?! Oh…well. I guess you’re right. Bitter about that.
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I’m sorry you like cats.
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