I used to think that turtles didn’t have much use because they were slow. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that I wanted to be just like them. They said we couldn’t learn anything from turtles, and by “they” I mean “them”. You know, the guys that say things and girls that say stuff. Turtles never leaves his home. They always have an excuse to be late for work. They live a long time while being lazy. They could accidently fall into some mutant ooze and wear a mask over their eyes and become a ninja in their teenage years. Okay so I might not become a ninja in my teenage years but I’ve heard from “them” that 40 is the new 20, so I’m like almost in my late teen years. All I know is that I aspire to do nothing just like this turtle and I haven’t made it to his high level yet. I am so bitter.
When I was growing up people gave me the nickname Gentle Ben. Not because I was gentle, but because there was a bear named Gentle Ben that had a TV show that I had never heard of. Apparantly it was about a game warden and his friendship with a bear that didn’t maul him to death. Sounds like a lame TV show and one I would have snoozed through until I was hungry, then eaten until I got tired. The point is that maybe I could be a bear named Bitter Ben and have a TV show about how lazy I was. It wouldn’t be a ratings bonanza, but at least it would be the highest rated show on NBC.
I offer you this last bitter picture of the day. Just like the turtle and the bear, we like to do nothing…more than waste your time. I know that it was only three minutes today, but we have to build up to these things. Wasting your time as well as mine is a lot of work. It is something I take great pride in doing. In the future I will do my best to waste more of your time, writing longer posts about nothing entertaining, funny, charming or time-worthy. Actually, who are we kidding? I’m not going to do my best because that would require skills that I don’t have. And I don’t take great pride in wasting your time or mine either. What do you think I am? A caring turtle? A gentle bear? Go waste you own time. I’ve got a nap to get to.
Bitter Bonanza Ben
- Bitter Awareness Week (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- Bitter Pill Pictures of the Week (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- Bitter News with Pictures (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)