I am not a “big fan” of March.
I am not a big fan of March for a lot of reasons, but the biggest reason is that it is our fiscal year end for the company I work for. That means staying late at work a lot, doing work, which I am not a fan of, and lots of pressure. Pressure isn’t a good thing because if you make it through the pressure, then you grow. No one needs growth(especially the one on my head). I certainly don’t. Needless to say, when Friday was over, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief (technically there was a few days left, but I don’t work Saturdays or Sundays). It’s nice to be able to breathe again, after a whole month of not breathing.
In contrast to the whole crazy month of work, I had a decent weekend. The weather was actually nice in Seattle. We had warm and sunny at the same time, which is like rare meeting mystical meeting magical. You might see one of the three in a lifetime, but never all three at the same time(or two, making the metaphor null and void. Or is that a simile? Gosh darn English class fail!). I got to spend some time with my kids and wife working in the yard. Another mystical/magical/rare triumvirate(or diumvirate for the early part of the metaphor/simile). My wife liked it because I was doing work and my kids liked it because they actually saw me do some work(they are used to seeing me on the couch). Also, I got some writing group in and they gave me some good feedback. My book doesn’t suck after all!
Hey son, I’ll give you 50 cents to dig trenches, pick all the weeds, mow the lawn and kill all the blackberry weeds. Child labor laws don’t apply at home right?
To top it off, Easter Sunday was a pretty nice combination of candy, church and bright colors. Instead of the couch, I tried something new and laid in our Love Sac (a glorified bean bag chair) and instead of playing Gears, I played a little Bioshock. They don’t call me crazy for nothing. I love to mix it up! Even Amazing Race was amazing because the team I thought was going to get eliminated didn’t and the one I thought was going to stay, got eliminated. All in all, just such a great weekend. Oh and one more thing. I won the lottery, so I don’t think I want to do this blog anymore.
Here’s how I dealt with winning the lottery. Gave my zero days notice at work, invest all my money in one of the emails from Zimbabwe by sending them my savings account number, and of course jump up and down in other peoples face. Duh!
April Fools suckers! Aren’t you glad you read all the way to the bottom? Did you really think that there was nothing to be bitter about? Everything I do, everything that happens to me is bitter! All bitter, all the time.
Arrrrrggghhh
Bitter “Fooled You” Ben
Related articles
- Happy April Fools Day: 2013 Edition (theobamacrat.com)
- | Don’t be gullible – it’s April Fools’ Day! (truthaholics.wordpress.com)
- What is April Fools’ Day? A guide to April 1, 2013 (metro.co.uk)
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Not a big fan.
XD
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I use that one all the time.
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AHA! Foiled. Now it all makes sense…
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Doesn’t it? Still never gets old.
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Pingback: The Bitter End…of the Year | Ben's Bitter Blog
Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your content seem to be running off the screen in Ie. I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know. The design look great though! Hope you get the issue fixed soon. Many thanks
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If you announced a twin unicorn pregnancy or march madness winning brackets I would have been your bitter fool.
But April fool’s day is the same for me as any day. I trust none and believe no one.
Bitterly,
Not Yours
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So I other words you didn’t believe in my happiness blog?
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I’m bitter that I forgot about April Fools Day. -_-
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I’m bitter that you read it after April Fools day, so it didn’t have quite the right effect.
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I’m actually bitter I’m not you now, is that really a thing?
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If you read and follow me you are bitter. At least partly. Yes being bitter is a thing.
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March should also make you bitter for it is the month of my birth. I! Your Arch Nemesis!!
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Ah yes, my arch nemesis. Born in the depths of March. Thankfully, your month and your birthday are well behind us and my month with it’s trickery and it springiness are here to take over the bitterness. I suppose that your April Fools Post, will start the opposite, being all bitter then tricking us at the end that it was only a ruse and you really are happy all the time.
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I was going to but my laziness won out over my helper monkeys ability to turn on the computer without my assisstance.
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You need better helper monkeys. Mine do whole posts and stuff without my help. Sometimes they even answer comments like this one for instance.
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That explains why some of your comments and posts have a glimmaire of intellijauntz to them.
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You got it. Those monkeyz are finally started to earn their pay of zero.
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That explains everything.
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My monkeys are bitter about pay, but then again so am I. When I get paid, then they will. Just kidding. I will never pay them.
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Fling poo.
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How about all those people who won Millions, and ended up being hounded by distant cousins, neighbors, and con men? They were miserable. The fantasy is wonderful, the reality, a drag! I would love to have tons of money, if it didn’t have “strings attached”. What I really want is a pet spider monkey. I’m getting fat, so I want to chase him around the house to burn fat. 🙂 (People who use happy faces are the most bitter of all….Pass it on…)
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When I win my millions I will send you, my distant cousin, a spider monkey. Deal?
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You just blew my mind with the April Fool’s bitterness combo.
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Are you talking about all the made up words or the “I gotcha” at the end. I think the last picture thing helped disguise the cruel joke until the end.
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Definitely the “I gotcha.”
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So you don’t like my made up words…So bitteratack.
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Pox. I didn’t know what you were at. It was a very disappointing post. Then I got to the end and am in such a bad mood now, as I do not like being had! Your bitterness is spreading.
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April Fools, the most bitter of days when you get one pulled over on you. I am just looking forward to someone pranking me really bad, so I have something to be really bitter about.
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cute post! Glad you are through March. 😀
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March the most bitter of Months. Wait did you call my post cute? Nooooooooooo!!!!!!
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hahaha …. sorry! I didn’t mean to say something bad. 😀
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It cuts deep. How can I be bitter when someone calls something I do cute? I hope you were April Fooling….
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Ok … uhh … ya want the truth or a lie? 😉
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Doesn’t matter. Either way I will be bitter.
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hahaha …. ok … be bitter then cutie. hehehe … sorry couldn’t help myself.
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How could you…?
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I don’t know … guess I was feeling feisty and slightly sadistic. 😉
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Well I’m feeling bitter and I will make it my mission to make you that way, you happy person!
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hahaha … my blog is Diary of an Angry Fat Woman … you sure ya wanna do that? This could get interesting. hahaha? 😀
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okay how about changing you from angry to bitter?
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hahaha … cuz I have never been bitter. I bash or forgive … never hold stuff in or become bitter it makes ya ill. 😀
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I prefer to hold things inside and passive agressively bash people behind their backs.
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Ha! Pinch and a punch for the first of the month! A British thing. Got you first.. Just something else to add to your bitter list.
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Punch me all you want, I will still be the most bitter of people.
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You are a tricksy bitter boy!
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They don’t call me bitter ben for nothing. Or maybe they do. I don’t care. I’m bitter!
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i hope i didn’t already say this.clicked comment and page went blank for a half hour, causing bitterness.
you had an awful lot of apropos alliteration this week end.
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You are using an awful lot of big latin words that I don’t care to look up in the dictionary….
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i know latin? lol.. see i just learned something else.
also, you told me i was a poet.
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I believe I told you that you were a haikuist and a poet. But you know, who cares. I’m only one thing: Bitter.
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yes and haiku mistress.lol..
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Maybe you should become a storyteller too.
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maybe you should become a soothsayer.
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So what you are saying is that I should become the opposite of what I am. No cranks!
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no, i’m saying you already are a soothsayer.
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Winning ANYTHING would just make you more bitter, glad for you that it was a prank. 🙂
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Lottery committee: I would be bitter enough to try to find out. Even if I don’t become bitter, I will write about it as if I am…
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haha I was like where is the bitter in this?? Glad you had a good weekend regardless
I took today off to recuperate from Vegas and am in my pjs still at noon. It’s amazing although I feel slightly brain dead.. which I’m sure is reflected in this meaningless comment.
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I’m glad that some people were gullible enough to fall for it. When writing it was sure that people would be onto me right away. Thanks for your gullibleness. Hopefully you have something to be bitter about from Vegas and you will share all of that in your upcoming post. Especially since you are off today. Sounds like a good day to do a post!
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Hook line and sinker. I feel foolish! 🙂
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Really? I thought it was pretty obvious when I had all those nice things to say. I thought you knew the bitter blog a little better than that. By the way, you should show your wife all the people that thought your post was funny. That should make her feel a little jealous, right?
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I was waiting for the bitterness, and it never came. Until the end. And yes, I’m hoping to make her feel a little jealous, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to backfire somehow. “Those comments on your misfortunes are HILARIOUS, Matt!!!”
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My advice, don’t point it out to her. Just let her find out naturally, because it never helps to rile up the wife…
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We’re definitely in agreement on that one. I’m sure someday soon she will read the comments. I’ll be sure to let you know what happens.
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It sounds like you had a pretty good weekend! Let me tell you soething to make you bitter. Easter Monday is holyday here, toO 😉 What is bioshock???
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Boo! So you don’t have to work today? That does make me bitter. Bioshock and Gears of War are both video games. I am kind of a video game enthusiast.
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Great! I start to admire you. You are the most powerful and aktiv-lazy person I ever have heard about. Wonder when you do all this things? Family, blogging, job, gaming, couching…..?
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I have engineered clocks to work 28 hours a day and I get 8 days a week.
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That confirms my assume you might be an alien who is here to study the menkind. Does you planet plan to seize the power or are we to primitv?
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I am not here to take over the planet, but just make it more bitter. No need to worry.
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Snap – I didn’t win the lottery either !
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So bitter….
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