Sickness makes me so bitter. Not the kind that I get from time to time when I still make it to work. It is actually the kind that other people get that cause them not to come to work. And by that I mean the sickness of laziness, or don’t feel like it or have a project tommorow that I just don’t want to do-itess. I have been cursed by this thing called a conscience and for some reason I feel the need to come into work unless I have been struck by a truck. One time I was late for work and my co-workers thought I was really in an accident. When in reality, I just slept through my alarm or didn’t set it or something. For like 30 minutes or more, while I was trying to catch up on my work, all I could hear from anyone else was why was bitter ben late? He is always on time!
Curse me and my need to be on time and here everyday. What I thought of as a great trait has now turned against me. Now people expect me to be here whether I am throwing up, or there are three feet of snow or my wife is having a baby. What are the positives? Nothing. It’s gets talked about on my reviews about how de-ben-dable I am, but it has had no effect on whether I get a raise or not, because you know they factor in other things like how hard I work or results or something like that. I mean come on, shouldn’t they just base it on the fact that I show up 99% of the time? I mean shouldn’t my mere presence be enough? But no, they base it on stats and facts and nonsense like that.
Another thing that makes me bitter is the fact that I have earned all this sick time in hours and I will never use it, and therefore will never be paid for those hours. So I have this imaginary 430 some hours that I will never get paid for and will never use. It reminds me of the Loch ness monster or Sasquatch (because I live near Seattle) you know because they are all imaginary.
I am reminded of a time when I was working on an assembly line for exercize equipment and some smart fellow decided that he should just let go of his air compressed drill that was hanging from the ceiling and it swung ever so crushingly into my knee. He immediately ignored my cries of pain and went back to work. As I couldn’t find my supervisor near by, I went back to work, you know because of curse of responsibilty I carry on my shoulders. It wasn’t until I could hardly walk at the end of the day, that I requested that I be able to visit the company “medical people” who look at my inability to walk and said, “Here is some Iodine. We will see you tommorow then?” and I was of course thinking, “Probably.” After I got home I couldn’t even walk so went to the hospital with the assistance of my roommate, who wheeled me in a wheelchair. They gave me a bandaid and told me I would live.
In the morning I realized I could gimp walk, so of course I decided that I would go to work. I of course hoped for some lieniency since you know the company was responsible for my barely even able to walk. They allowed me to work off the line for two days after which they came to me and told me that if I didn’t come back to the line I would be let go. You know, thanks for taking that knee, but if you don’t recover fast enough, you’re fired.
So yeah, as you can see this has created in me a sympathy for people who call in people they have a “slight cough”. Make sure you don’t come into work and infect me with your “excuses”, uh I mean cough. Sickness makes me so bitter. ARRRGGGHHH!