Lottery Bitterness

The lottery makes me so bitter.  Why do I have put down my bitter earned money just to buy a ticket?  Shouldn’t the lottery just be something where the president just picks a number between 1 and 350,000,000 and whoever’s citizen number that is gets the money? They just make it so complicated!  I mean who has time to pick 6 random numbers, and if you wanted to buy 5 chances that is like…um 25 or something like that.  I mean that could take the whole weekend to come up with something that sounds random.  By that time, they probably picked some farm guy in New York city or some big city billionaire slickerster from Turkey Ridge, South Dakota to win.  Just stop making the lottery so complicated and mail the check to me.  And really do they think that my bank will accept the large checks?  The slot at my bank’s drive through just wouldn’t fit a check of that magnitude!  Arrgh!  And by the way, when I do win, I want the lottery people to take the lottery curse off of me.  It’s makes me so bitter that if I win the prize I have to have some sort of family bitterness or I have to fall in a ditch or I have to get letters from people that are bitter that I won.  The next thing you know they are going to have a lottery where kids get picked to battle each other in a forest for food or something.  Then some person will write a book about it, then a movie will be made and the person that writes it will get a big check for writing about something that was my idea.  AAAARRGGGHHH!

Bitter Ben


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