Hunger Games Review Bitterness

The hunger games make me so bitter.   I kept waiting the whole movie to see the food that they would get rewarded for when they won the games (On the bitter blog I put spoiler warnings after I spoil it for you, so as to allow you to share in the bitterness).  Not one grape, not an apple or some Reese’s Miniatures, or even a nice Kansas City stake, with a hint of bitterness.  To be bitter, I have no idea why they called this thing the Hunger Games.  I mean no one really look hungry, or underfed and none of the kids in game looked like they were really having any fun.  Lighten up people!  It’s a game! About Katniss or whatever her name was, I guess I would have been bitter if I were her too, because she had such crazy hair that kept getting in her face.  That would make me bitter too.  I mean, they get her all dressed up with a nice dress that lights on fire and give her a really nice hotel to stay in and even a hair stylist, but they can’t fix her hair from getting in her face?  I would be pretty bitter too.   And I guess  I would be bitter if I were one of those people in the big city too.  It seemed like they had to dress like clowns in order to live there.  I mean one guy was forced to wear blue hair that was like 3 feet high.  He must have been so bitter with the amount of hair spray he had to use to look like a blue haired Pauly D.  And that other lady had to wear clown makeup to announce who would get to participate in the District 13 games.  And when she talked no one cheered and clapped when she announced who got to go to the games.  I would definitely bitter if I were her too.  One other thing.  The tracker jackers, those bee things that stung those kids? Yeah I would have been bitter if I were them too.  I mean Katsniss cut down their frickin hive!  What were they supposed to do, not sting them?  Tell them to stop cutting their hive down?  I mean wouldn’t you be bitter if someone was cutting your house down from a tree?  I would probably go into a bitter rage and not make them honey either!  In fact their honey was probably the only food mentioned in this whole bitter movie.  For this movie, I give it four bitter thumbs down.  May the odds be in my favor that they money made for this movie be sent to me.  If not, I will ever so bitter.  AAARGGGHHHH!

Bitter Ben


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