I like to brag to my kids that back in the early 90's, I worked outside in -30-degree weather. Awesome humblebrag, huh? I didn't walk to school uphill both ways, so this is my version of miserable suffering my kids need to know, anytime they get mad at me when the wi-fi doesn't work for … Continue reading World Building Bitterness
Bitter Friday Giftures
Out of Focus BFG’s
I remember a unit of science in 7th grade dedicated to learning about kinetic energy. I couldn't imagine what kinetic energy was then, because it was only a concept and I'm a visual learner. I know what it is now, because for the last several years, I've been one of the adult leaders of a … Continue reading Out of Focus BFG’s
Remember the Alamo Bitterness
Last Wednesday, I was standing in a San Antonio airport gift shop, desperately trying to find just the right San Antonio Spurs merchandise to buy. I had just spent a week with some of my closest friends that I've only met twice in person. This trip was the fourth time I've been to San Antonio … Continue reading Remember the Alamo Bitterness
The Laws of Bitter Motion BFG’s
For my parent's 50th anniversary in 2015, they decided to take their whole family on a cruise. That included their five kids (which I am one), their spouses and their kids. None of my "core" family had ever been on a cruise, so we were pretty excited. I ended up eating a lot of Mickey … Continue reading The Laws of Bitter Motion BFG’s
The Bitter Power Struggle BFG’s
Being a man of the modern age, I am quite fond of power. Not the kind of power that allows you to lord over people, no. I'm much fonder of the kind of power that lights my house and runs my internet. When I first moved to Seattle, I only envisioned a few things. I … Continue reading The Bitter Power Struggle BFG’s
Ghost Post BFG’s
When people think of social media platforms, they think of the typical ones like Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, Snapchat or MySpace. Those are okay, but they don't have the depth of Venmo. Facebook, Instagram and Tik Tok give you surface details about what you and others like, but Venmo tells you what people are really … Continue reading Ghost Post BFG’s
Late to the Party Bitter Friday Giftures
One time when I was in college, I was so distraught by a girl breaking up with me, that I slept in until 4 pm. It was the oddest sensation I'd ever felt. When I woke up, I went to the campus bookstore, and it was already closed for the day. People had already woken … Continue reading Late to the Party Bitter Friday Giftures
Life Isn’t About a Box Of Chocolates Bitterness
The first time I watched Forrest Gump, I didn't make it all the way through. I was on a date with a girl, and I could tell she was getting a little uncomfortable. I asked her if she wanted to leave, and she said she did. So we walked out and continued our date elsewhere. … Continue reading Life Isn’t About a Box Of Chocolates Bitterness
Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures
I still remember it like it was yesterday. I had made the most awkward transition of my life from elementary school to junior high. It was the first day of 7th Grade English, and my teacher asked us all to do my least favorite thing ever. The thing an anxiety ridden, shy, introverted, new-to-junior-high kid … Continue reading Pizza Me Bitter Friday Giftures
Categorical Failure Bitterness
Back in high school, I was assigned to do a group presentation about something boring to our class. It was a bunch of really boring facts, where most of the groups just stood up, and presented the facts the same old way. I didn't like boring, so I asked everyone in the group if we … Continue reading Categorical Failure Bitterness
Side Quests BFG’s
Unlike most college students, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I've always been bitter, and my life is all about taking over the world so I can spread bitterness throughout the world. I only went to college to figure out the best way to do that. Of course, college failed … Continue reading Side Quests BFG’s
Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
My wife likes to make fun of me because I'm a routine-oriented guy. I go to sleep at the same time, I wake up at the same time. I eat eggs and peanut butter sandwiches all the time. I always blog on Wednesday's and Friday's. I have a lot of the same daily routines at … Continue reading Bitter Code Reuse BFG’s
Space Invaders BFG’s
Space Invaders was one of the first video games I played growing up. If you've never played it, it was a super basic alien invasion game. A bunch of pixelated aliens (about 55 of them) march across and down the screen shooting lasers at your little square battleship. If they destroyed your battleship, or made … Continue reading Space Invaders BFG’s
John Wick Training BFG’s
Last night it was all about the speed. Not the drug that makes you hyper, weirdos. Not Lightning McQueen either. I'm talking about Speed, the cool movie with Keanu Reeves. The one that launched Sandra Bullock's career. If you think Sandra Bullock's career is impressive, then take her career, multiply it by a cool factor … Continue reading John Wick Training BFG’s
Reduced to Atoms BFG’s
If you are a fan of NBA basketball, you just saw the Sacramento Kings break a playoff drought of 17 years. If you want to feel old, that was 2006. To me, that seems like just yesterday, but to my daughter, that was a time she doesn't remember, because she was only 1. And my … Continue reading Reduced to Atoms BFG’s
50 Reasons to Be Bitter
Since I'm 50 years bitter today, I'm supposed to be having my mid-life crisis, but since we all know that I'm not making it to 100, that means I'm well past my mid-life crisis and should have had it a while ago. But since nobody really tells you when this life is over, it's not … Continue reading 50 Reasons to Be Bitter
Filling in the Plot Holes BFG’s
The weather people in Utah spent all last summer moaning and complaining about the apocalyptical drought we were going through. They warned us to stop watering our lawns and demanded that we stop drinking unless we were on drop from dying of dehydration. We were assured if we brushed our teeth and let the water … Continue reading Filling in the Plot Holes BFG’s
Forward Thinking BFG’s
I've been running this Bitter Blog Empire for 11 years now, thus making me an expert in running blog empires, according to Malcom Gladwell. To prove it, I've written 1446 posts, each which average over 500 words per post. That is 723,000 words that I've created mostly from brain. A few monkeys pounded some words … Continue reading Forward Thinking BFG’s
Top 10 Lists of all Top 10 Lists I’m on BFG’s
Back in 1996, the NBA released their list of the Top 50 players of all time and as soon as they did, they created a debate among fans. It got them what they wanted, which was a lot of attention to the game. At the time, most people agreed that Michael Jordan was the GOAT, … Continue reading Top 10 Lists of all Top 10 Lists I’m on BFG’s
My Hostage Demands
There are a lot of things that I am, but one of the things I'm not is a demanding person. If you are a customer service rep, you want my name to pop up on your caller ID, because this is going to be an easy call. If you are my family, you know I … Continue reading My Hostage Demands
Ben's Bitter Blog 