I was today years old when I realized that I've lived in not one, but two places that had forests on the property. When I was 6-8 years old, we lived in Long Island, NY, in a house that had a forest in the back yard. I'd like to say that I explored that forest … Continue reading Making Footprints BFG’s
Bitter Friday Giftures
Reading the Room BFG’s
People always tell me that if you want to be a good writer, you should read a lot. Reading helps a lot because you can model your writing after someone, or you can learn new techniques when you read a lot. I wish I could read more, because I love a good book. But for … Continue reading Reading the Room BFG’s
Snapshots and Soundbites BFG’s
It was always ridiculous for me to think that I could have an effect on the world. I grew up with the delusion that I would be able to change the world. When I turned 30 or so I realized that it just wasn't going to happen. When I realized that, I just gave up … Continue reading Snapshots and Soundbites BFG’s
Muckduck BFG’s
"R is the most menacing sound. That's why they call it murder, not muckduck." - Dwight K. Shrute, poet laureate. It is absolutely shocking to me that the sixth commandment, "Thou shalt not kill," which I look at as the most obvious sin against humanity, is so fascinating to humans. If you think about it, … Continue reading Muckduck BFG’s
Musical Chairs BFG’s
A few weeks ago, we were watching the movie, Young Woman and the Sea, which is about the first girl to swim the English Channel. I wasn't aware that people could swim channels, but I knew they could surf channels. When I surf channels, I like to surf the ESPN channel. Mostly because I like … Continue reading Musical Chairs BFG’s
Bitter Trance BFG’s
I'm one of those people like Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison that doesn't like sleep that much. The difference being that I've found a way to make those waking hours much less efficient by inventing nothing. I've always been a night owl because I get FOMVG, which of course means, Fear of … Continue reading Bitter Trance BFG’s
Donut ever do this to me BFG’s
It seems like centuries ago, but my 30th birthday was on a Friday and my wife graciously said that she would pick me up right after work, so we could go to a movie. I was excited to go to a movie, but it was a little odd that my wife wanted to pick me … Continue reading Donut ever do this to me BFG’s
Bitter Successor to the Empire BFG’s
Not a lot of people can tell you where they were on this day 20 years ago on this very day of July 19th, 2004. There was no historical moment to mark the day, but I can tell exactly where I was, what I was doing and how my eventual successor made herself known to … Continue reading Bitter Successor to the Empire BFG’s
Storage Unit Madness BFG’s
There was a show on TLC called Storage Wars. It was a horribly annoying show about a group of about 5 or 6 people that would bid on storage units that had been abandoned by people. Audiences were intrigued by it for several reasons, I suppose. Some seemed to like the drama between the characters … Continue reading Storage Unit Madness BFG’s
Plug in Charging BFG’s
Yesterday, I had a flashback to my not so glory days in Seattle. It was the middle of the day, and I was behind on some work I was supposed to be doing. Most of the time I'm behind, because I'm lazy, but this time it was someone else's fault. When I get behind on … Continue reading Plug in Charging BFG’s
How do you sleep at night BFGs
I guess my parents didn't like me that much, because when I was only 8 years old, they sent me off to this pre-military school called the Scouting program. Every single week we had to attend these meeting where they would stick us in these tan prison uniforms and make us learn all these useful … Continue reading How do you sleep at night BFGs
We’ve Been Programmed BFG’s
I just went back to the movie theater this past Monday for the first time in a year. If I said that sentence to 27-year-old Bitter Ben, he would have two questions for me. Did movie theaters become extinct? The second question would be, "Are you dead?" When I was in my 20's I went … Continue reading We’ve Been Programmed BFG’s
Keeping Safe in Dive Bombing Season BFG’s
I was watching that Kevin Hart and Bryan Cranston movie the other day. It was the movie about the really rich guy that was a quadriplegic and a guy that takes care of him. At first, Kevin Hart's character is just trying to get a signature so he can say he's looking for a job … Continue reading Keeping Safe in Dive Bombing Season BFG’s
Keywords are Key BFG’s
I never had a treehouse in my backyard growing up, but I always wished I would have. We had a forest in my backyard in New York, but unfortunately, I wasn't blessed with the skills to build things and my parents weren't the kind of people that built stuff either. The allure of a treehouse … Continue reading Keywords are Key BFG’s
Bitter Programming BFG’s
I'm always fascinated by movies that tell origin stories of famous people. The other day I was watching Jobs, which is the Ashton Kutcher movie about Steve Jobs. The thing I find so fascinating about this movie is that a lot of it happened in my lifetime. Just last week I was talking about Atari, … Continue reading Bitter Programming BFG’s
Cohort BFG’s
For most of my life, I've played video games. I still remember the day, in the late 70's, when I went to this little strip mall where my mom bought me bought my first pair of Hulk Underoos. I couldn't have been much older than 7, but there was this little electronics store that showed … Continue reading Cohort BFG’s
Cobwebsite BFG’s
Did you see that beekeeper guy that went viral recently, because he helped clear out a bunch of bees at a baseball game? The story was that a swarm of bees took over some netting and they had to delay the game for two hours while they tried to figure out how to get rid … Continue reading Cobwebsite BFG’s
The Voices in My Head BFG’s
I've never liked parties, for obvious reasons. First, I'm a died in the wool introvert with a massive disdain for people and talking to them. When I am forced to go to a party, it is my mission to find a way to disappear like a vapor. I do my best impression of Ethan Hunt, … Continue reading The Voices in My Head BFG’s
Nightmare Ben BFG’s
Ever since we had my first kid, I've been a horrific sleeper. My daughter refused to sleep anywhere near my REM cycle. She had a REM detector that allowed her to find right when I was about to go full REM, and cried right before I was about to down for good. She was good … Continue reading Nightmare Ben BFG’s
Businesses are better than people BFG’s
As some people deduced on Tuesday, it was my birthday. If there is one thing I've learned over the years, the older I get, the less my birthday matters. The excitement I have for my birthday peaked when I turned 30, when I actually looked forward to my birthday. I had already been setting up … Continue reading Businesses are better than people BFG’s
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