I’m not much into anime, but I’m really into video games. Recently I was scrolling through the TikTok’s and I got a short clip of an anime about a guy who lived in a world that was a video game. The world was taken over by beast’s who were inside gates, so the people had to adjust by people becoming hunters to save the world from the beasts. Certain people were “awakened” to become hunters, mages, and healer’s in order to fight the beasts. I was instantly intrigued, because video games.

Sung Jin-Woo, the antagonist, was the weakest E-level hunter (lowest rank), in their world, and only became a hunter so he could pay for his mom’s surgery. He almost dies on a regular basis in the beginning. In his weakened state, he only has three good traits. First, he never gives up, second, he’s humble because he knows he’s weak, and third, he’s decent at solving puzzles and riddles.

The first dungeon, which is a double dungeon is where he uses his strengths. Most of the other hunters are arrogant, so they rush forward and get mowed down. He waits patiently, notices clues and sacrifices himself so other’s can make it out. Because he sacrifices himself, the “machine” saves him, and gives him a second chance and a unique ability, which is the ability to level up.

No other hunter in that world, is able to level up. Once they are “awakened” as hunters, they are stuck at that level. Over the course of the anime, just like in video games, he levels up. He goes from frightened, weak, pathetic, teenager, to a full blown man by the end of the first season. By the second season, he gets so strong that nothing and nobody can intimidate him, and he walks around the world with a quiet confidence that made me envious.

Unless I get struck by lightning, or get taken over by a machine that allows me to level up to have God-Like abilities, I’m never going to walk around with that guys confidence.

The reason why I’ll never gain that kind of confidence is that the world is constantly sending monsters at me, both real and imagined to shatter my confidence. Swords are constantly slashing at my confidence armor. Some people have stronger armor, either by delusion, or by strengthening it, by using confidence building exercises, but I only have a certain amount of CP (confidence points). There is a constant battle of me trying to strengthen my confidence armor, and my enemies using swords, guns, and maces to wipe out my self esteem. Here are several classes of people that constantly working to shatter my confidence armor.

Boss Battles. In video games, there are the lower level cretins you have to deal with, but they are generally easier to deal with. When you get the end of any level, there is always a Boss Battle. They are the leader of the level. They are always stronger, meaner and have a lot more HP. They also have different phases you have to deal with. I’ve had dozens of bosses in my life and each and every one of them, has had a sword that I have to deal with. It’s called the Sword of Damocles, and it is one that dangles over your head. Bosses have the fire ability, meaning they can fire me at any time and send me to the unemployment realm. Unemployment is a dungeon full of darkness, uncertainty and anxiety. It’s a place where time is different and I’m never sure when I’ll be allowed back into Employment Land again. And you are only allowed to return when you are given a new boss to battle.

Athletic coaches work really hard at piercing your confidence armor. Athletic bosses are equipped with two weapons: Whistle, which shatters your Ear defense and Clipboard, which hides their next attack on you. It could be Wind Sprints, Scrimmages, or Play Calling. They break down your confidence points either by physical attacks, or by emotional attacks which break down your inner confidence. Either way, the Coach class spends two to four hours driving your confidence to the ground, and hoping you become stronger physically and mentally by the end of the season. But only if you win the championship. If you lose coaches use Loud Voice to drill your confidence to the ground.

Another class that will send a barrage of attacks is Opposite Sex. For me, Harpies, or the Human Woman, have always been a huge weakness against my confidence armor. They rarely use physical attacks. They almost always EA (emotional attacks) to break your confidence armor. They will go after your height ability, your handsomeness attribute, and use Coin Vault Drain to go after your finances. For the Strange Woman (ones you don’t know yet) they will use the Alluring Look attack, by using their beautiful physical form, and make up cloaking ability along with Seductive Voice, and their Touching Arm skills. As soon as they gain attraction, they will use their Dig ability to attach themselves to you. There is one True Female that will add to your Confidence Ability, but the hunt for the One is a confusing battlefield that you will have to use almost all your resources and abilities to attract. Proceed with caution, because it is a gamble and has left many adventurers decimated, scarred and shattered in the end.

Another class that is constantly going after your CP is the Policers. From early the early stages of my adventure, Policers have used their low level, but really effective Red and Blue Flashing Lights Weapon to slow my early teen Vehicle Upgrade with their speeding ticket weapon. In fact, early in my adventure, Policers issued at least a dozen Speeding Tickets that shattered my speeding car upgrades, to the point where I’ve leveled down my speed stats just to avoid Speeding Tickets. I feel like I’ve funded the Policer Department with my fines. I’ll need to move to a different location on the map, say the German District, or Montana, so I can level up my speeding stat. That, and upgrade my vehicle to a Lamborghini. But to do that, I’ll need to obtain more gold by getting rid of the Money Leech attack my son keeps using against me.

Then there is the confidence deflation I get from attacks from the Critic Enemies I have. You would think that someone as low level as me wouldn’t face Critic Critical Attacks, but you would be wrong. Since I decided to write my own tome, I was persuaded by a cult called the Tome Writing Critics Guild. The reason I decided to join the Tome Writing Guild was because I thought they were allies. They seemed so nice. They used a cloaking device that allowed them to seem charming, sweet, nice, and pleasant. However, when it came time for the Tome Critiquing they took off their cloaking device and revealed their true form of Sharks with the ability to smell blood. They used their Critic ability to attack my tome for tense use, grammar, backstory, plot development, protagonist believability, and even my lack of “show, not tell.” After they finished the shredding, they returned back to their Sweet Human form and told me that they “loved my tome, and I should keep writing.” Their trickery fooled me every time, because I kept going back Saturday after Saturday, just to have to gain all my confidence points back during the week.

The biggest blow to my confidence points was my avatar. My avatar chipped away at my physical points over the years like Andy Dufresne chipping away at his cell wall for 20 years with a rock hammer. Little by little, my physical form slowly depleted my CP as it aged. I sustained a skinned knee that I never healed, as well as a sprained wrist, and just started collecting injuries like leeches over the years. Now those unfixed injuries continue to permanently drain my HP, no matter how many potions or pills I used to fix them. The potions only have an 8-12 hour span, and then my injuries continue to drain my life force.

My CP will never reach the height of Sung Jin-Woo’s leveled up abilities. My LF will be continually be drained by the enemies of Opposite Sex, Policers, Bosses, Athletic Coaches and Body, until my LF, CP, and HP are drained to zero. On that lovely note, enjoy this week’s Bitter Friday Giftures!…

I’ve never been into anime…

One called Solo Leveling…

And when he leveled up…

When I saw his confidence…

The reason why I’m not confident…

Certain enemy classes that go after my confidence…

Also, battles with another enemy class…

Another strong enemy class called Opposite Sex…

Another enemy class called Policers…

And the Critical Class…

All these enemies all their attacks…

ARRGGHHHH

Bitter Solo Leveling Confidence Ben