I remember a unit of science in 7th grade dedicated to learning about kinetic energy. I couldn’t imagine what kinetic energy was then, because it was only a concept and I’m a visual learner. I know what it is now, because for the last several years, I’ve been one of the adult leaders of a group of 15 or so 7- to 11-year-old boys. They are kinetic energy. If you want to know where all your lost energy goes, I can tell you kids that age just sap it from you.

On Tuesday, the group of us leaders decided to take them to a karate dojo, because someone in our church not only owns a couple of dojos, but is also a black belt and instructor. I would join Kobra Kai and become a karate instructor myself, just to get the boys to settle down, but that would require 10 years of work to become a black belt. My brown leather belt is enough to hold up my pants right now, thank you very much.

It was a modern-day miracle to see our friend and karate instructor handle this herd of cats for an entire hour. The genius was how he started the class. He projected his voice and immediately talked about respect. He talked about them addressing him as sir, and to listen while he spoke, or he wouldn’t teach them karate and they wouldn’t get to break a board at the end of the class. Almost immediately, they shut up, had their hands to their sides and started listening intently.

My kids would have respected me so much more if I had done that immediately when they popped out of the womb. Now it’s too late and if I tried that now, they would start laughing at me (which would be great, because the dad jokes don’t work anymore).

The next thing he talked about was focus. For a crowd of kids that normally bounce off the walls, it was enchanting to see the boys stand relatively still for over 20 seconds. Their parents and teachers would’ve been floored to see it as well.

Focus is one of the most important factors on getting anything done in this world. Talented photographers can get you to focus on the part of a picture they want you to see. A persuasive person can make anyone believe what they want them to just by framing a subject in just the right way. A good magician can perform miracles by just getting you to focus on one place while they trick you in another.

And a good writer can get you to laugh, cry, sing or dance, just by getting you to focus on words in a particular way. I can BOLD a word and you will think that is the most important word in the sentence, even though it doesn’t make any sense.

Just like every one of us, I get distracted and then I forget stuff, or things don’t get done in the most efficient manner. I can handle distractions from my brain racing around like the Indy 500, because those are ALWAYS relevant, necessary and important.

What makes me really bitter is distractions from other people. For instance, if I was able to do my job with headphones on all day long, I would be making the company and myself millions of dollars daily. But because people always insist on “saying good morning” or asking me to try new things, or asking me to take a break, I get sidetracked and off the rails like that one train derailment that happened that one time.

Once I take my headphones off, my song or podcast is interrupted, and my efficient type-y fingers stop working. Not only does that stop my fingers, but it also diverts my brain from the thousands of brilliant ideas I have that will change the world (mostly in a bitter way). All because some genius wanted to say “good morning” instead of trying to figure out how they can give me a raise.

If it wasn’t for all the other people in the world, my focus would be at 100. These constant interruptions of my focus means that brilliant bitter blog’s ideas are forgotten. Which means, the best posts are stuck somewhere in my neurons or protons and there are only morons in my brain left to retrieve the good ideas. Which means, they are left in some bitter brain graveyard buried and lost forever.

You may note that I haven’t written a series of novels yet, or solved world hunger, or figured out the cure for cancer. The blame for that is all squarely on everyone else for interrupting my focus. I clearly have focus, but you all think that interaction is necessary. If you ever stop craving that from me, you might finally get me to solve all your problems. Since you are no good at not interrupting me, I’m going to distract YOU with a bunch of moving pictures called Bitter Friday Giftures…

You may notice that little kids…

You may wonder where all your energy…

The kids use a device…

We found a way to temporarily slow the energy of kids…

The Karate Master…

While I sat in the corner…

It was nice for once…

So I could focus on what was most important…

Which I had only devoted…

If only it weren’t for other people…

Dwight was definitely right…

Agent Smith was also right about humans…

Maintain focus today people. Then you might finally get something done. But more importantly I will get something done.

ARRRGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Out of Focus Ben