Autofill Bitter Friday Giftures


My computer and phone have this feature where you can fill out your name, address, and phone number and anytime a form pops up on the internet, it will offer to fill out those things for you. Crazily enough, forms are on the internet all the time. Whether it is a job application, a contest entry or getting a free e-book so you can get more junk mail in your inbox, autofill happens more than you think.

If only we could use autofill for other more important aspects in life. Like for instance when we went to a party (not that those exist anymore). When you first meet someone, and they ask for your “vital statistics”, you could just hit your autofill button and you wouldn’t have to answer the painful “where are you from?”, “what do you do for a living?” and “Are you married, do you have kids?” are automatically said for you.

It would really come in handy for job interviews, so you could skip the “Tell me about yourself” question and “Why are you interested in working here?” question. It just seems like so many parts of our life are just repeating the same things to people and autofill would be able to fill out so many of those awkward moments we just have to repeat over and over.

It would definitely help us skip the Coronavirus talk and big news stuff that we feel obliged to talk about, even though we just want to talk about something else.

Speaking of which, just autofill the transition and let’s move to the Bitter Friday Giftures:


napoleon dynamite your mom goes to college GIF

…yours does.


Can I speak with your…



You might want to be careful though…

im the captain now GIF

…there are Karen’s that are coming to speak to you.

Fill in the blank…

blank stare GIF by NBC

…stare here.

Autofill would be perfect…

My Giant Life Date GIF by TLC

…for a situation like this.

Or when you are trying to just say…

awkward hug GIF

…good night.

Or you’re out…

awkward hug GIF

…of the contest.

Or job interview…

Handshake Hug GIF by TOPTEMP


Talking about your strengths(Pokemon Go)…

job interviews GIF

…and weaknesses(talking with other humans).

It will help people know…

interview job GIF

…how you really feel, like not wanting this job.

It will help you when talking to the boss…

netflix no GIF by NailedIt

…when he is only paying you $9/hr.

Or letting the boss know…

season 6 gullible pants GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants

…you won’t be doing anything as soon as you get hired.

And for my big finale, just autofill something interesting, exciting and completely creative. I’ll just insert you all laughing really hard and giving me like 10,000 likes for all my minimal work.


Bitter Autofill Ben

9 thoughts on “Autofill Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. Auto-fill in real life is a brilliant idea! Package it in bitterness and patent it, Ben. I need this for every time someone asks me “How are you?” when they couldn’t care less.


  2. This brought to mind the weekly dating skit on the show In Living Color called “Lowered Expectations.” Auto-fill, like all other handy programs, is probably a double-edged sword. But the spoken version would come in handy at family or high school reunions so you don’t have to regurgitate the same answers 50 times. Jury is still out on this one, Ben. 🙂


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