My computer and phone have this feature where you can fill out your name, address, and phone number and anytime a form pops up on the internet, it will offer to fill out those things for you. Crazily enough, forms are on the internet all the time. Whether it is a job application, a contest entry or getting a free e-book so you can get more junk mail in your inbox, autofill happens more than you think.
If only we could use autofill for other more important aspects in life. Like for instance when we went to a party (not that those exist anymore). When you first meet someone, and they ask for your “vital statistics”, you could just hit your autofill button and you wouldn’t have to answer the painful “where are you from?”, “what do you do for a living?” and “Are you married, do you have kids?” are automatically said for you.
It would really come in handy for job interviews, so you could skip the “Tell me about yourself” question and “Why are you interested in working here?” question. It just seems like so many parts of our life are just repeating the same things to people and autofill would be able to fill out so many of those awkward moments we just have to repeat over and over.
It would definitely help us skip the Coronavirus talk and big news stuff that we feel obliged to talk about, even though we just want to talk about something else.
Speaking of which, just autofill the transition and let’s move to the Bitter Friday Giftures:
Nope…
…yours does.
Can I speak with your…
…captain?
You might want to be careful though…
…there are Karen’s that are coming to speak to you.
Fill in the blank…
…stare here.
Autofill would be perfect…
…for a situation like this.
Or when you are trying to just say…
…good night.
Or you’re out…
…of the contest.
Or job interview…
…greeting.
Talking about your strengths(Pokemon Go)…
…and weaknesses(talking with other humans).
It will help people know…
…how you really feel, like not wanting this job.
It will help you when talking to the boss…
…when he is only paying you $9/hr.
Or letting the boss know…
…you won’t be doing anything as soon as you get hired.
And for my big finale, just autofill something interesting, exciting and completely creative. I’ll just insert you all laughing really hard and giving me like 10,000 likes for all my minimal work.
ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH
Bitter Autofill Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Auto-fill in real life is a brilliant idea! Package it in bitterness and patent it, Ben. I need this for every time someone asks me “How are you?” when they couldn’t care less.
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Exactly. I’m working on the prototype right now and as soon as I get a Kickstarter to get me to a billion dollars, I will send you a free copy!
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This brought to mind the weekly dating skit on the show In Living Color called “Lowered Expectations.” Auto-fill, like all other handy programs, is probably a double-edged sword. But the spoken version would come in handy at family or high school reunions so you don’t have to regurgitate the same answers 50 times. Jury is still out on this one, Ben. 🙂
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I think it would really help, but then again, in that Adam Sandler movie, Click, it kind of explored the dark side of it too.
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You really can’t go wrong when leading off with kip!
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I’ll remember that in the future. I will just start all my posts off with Kip and at least you will tune in!
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He always draws a crowd
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Yep, Kip is a crowd pleaser that’s for sure. If Napoleon didn’t do that dance at the end, he would have been completely anonymous compared to the very charismatic Kip.
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yes
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